[BipolarBob]

..And not sure where to start explaining.
I am 29, married and diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2. In addition i have a very light case of CP.

My physical disability is mild, i am able to hide it from most people. But it causes frustration and a fair amount of pain. In addition the CP has caused low working memory and concentration difficulties.

My mood swings can also be hidden from most people (not family). Sometimes i wonder if i even "qualify" to be diagnosed as bipolar. In my depressive periods i am still able to maintain a reasonably healthy lifestyle, and i have never been close to living out my suicide fantasies. In my manic periods i pretty much always end up with a tendinitis, some broken items and an almost finished awesome new project. But i very rarely loose control if front of people, not more then the average joe anyway.

I am the only person in my closest family that do not have at least a Phd. It is expected that i should be able to do something with my life. My relatively mild CP and BP symptoms, shouldn't be enough to render me useless

The problem is that i have failed at absolutely everything i have tried so far. There are some basic university classes that i just cannot pass, no matter how great my dedication and motivation was. So that has locked me out of all technical educations. My reading endurance is low, which makes more theoretical educations difficult. I have tried a large variety of manual labor, but i don't last very long, and i have gotten some chronic damages by trying to hard.

I am sorry, but i will have to continue tomorrow. I'm exhausted. To sum up my question temporarily. Should i keep trying, in which case what should i aim for. Or is it ok to accept the disability benefits.

[passionfruit3]

I think by cp you mean cerebral palsy i to have it very mildly. So im able to hide it.ive tried college twice and dropped out i will return when. I get better mentally. Cause if i drop out a third time ill have to go to a school further away my siblings are all in college doing well i fell like a disappointment to my family.i cannot work due to another disability that affects me physically i have bipolar schizoaffective type disorder supposedly along with borderline personality disorder and conversion disorder.im not sure ill be able to drive.but i think it. Should be fine getting on disability if you need the extra support.know that you wont get a lot and it is hard to get disability. It was for. Me but trying wont hurt

[Wander]

Welcome to PC!! What are you passionate about? Is there any job that you can see yourself being able to do that you will love? I don't know much about CP but I would guess that it would be possible to get disability for it but if you can find satisfying employment that is much better for you in the end.

In my life I have had many set backs due to illness and have had many periods of unemployment but I keep fighting and getting up and trying to find a meaningful life for myself. I have to compromise a lot though and be realistic. Right now I am on disability but work 11 hours a week in retail (not a passion of mine but I need the money and having employment of some sort is good for me for many reasons) and I also am studying Writing at university. It took me 4 years to complete the first year of the degree so I have not idea if I will be able to finish it but trying is giving me purpose. One day at a time is the way to go.

[BipolarBob]

I have turned down the offer of 100% disability benefits before, so getting it won't be a problem. The reason i am reluctant is that for a few months at a time, i am in good health, and there should not be any reason for me not to work. I am just not sure if i in good conscience could accept it.