[Rhea17]

I met the man I am dating for 5months now,who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder around that time. We both are very much in love. Things with him happened very fast to extent he started to talk about marriage and long term plans,even introduced me to his family and friends. Now,he had two manic episodes since we have been dating. He also had mild depression in between. He started with proper medication and seeing the doctor since a month now. He recently started feeling symptoms of depression during the last two weeks when I was out of town for work. We used to talk daily and there not nothing wrong between us. We met after I came back in town and had the most amazing time ever. Then yesterday I met him again and we had a minor argument. I felt very hurt to the way he behaved. He had been verbally rude to me earlier,but I let it go. But yesterday, I confronted him saying his behavior had been hurting me and he cannot treat me like this,when I love and respect him. The moment I said this,he says I wanted to tell you something "I want time off the relationship. I can't be anyone's partner right now.' At one moment he was talking about moving in together and he loves me and the next moment he is being like this. I am devastated right now. I don't know whether he is going to come back or how much time he needs. Please help if anyone with BIPOLAR has BROKEN UP and again got back together. Thank you so much

[Skeezyks]

Hello Rhea: I'm sorry you're having this experience. I'm not the member, here on PC, you want to hear from with regard to this. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. The only thing I can say is you see how it's going to be with this man if-&-when he does come back. Is the love you feel for him strong enough to withstand that on an ongoing basis? Only you know the answer to that question.

[Moose72]

In my experience when a guy says he wants to "take a break" he really means permanently.

You might want to take a look at the website called Love Fraud. While the guy's behavior may be "only" bipolar disorder, I think some of the issues people (mostly but now all women) have or have had there, would strike a chord with you. Their partners would woo them and shower them with affection for weeks or months -- then suddenly change their personalities. I have experienced this myself with 3 guys. I believe at least one of them was unipolar manic. He'd been involuntarily hospitalized for mania, and had been given lithium at that time. I suspect one of the others was bipolar, but not sure. I do know now the second man I describe was very affectionate for only TWO WEEKS, and I thought that was the "real him." I saw his "potential" to "go back to the way he really is." He would show the Dr. Jekyll side of himself if we met a new person who had status of some kind, like a professor or other professional who visited us. Once he had them convinced how great he was, he'd switch personalities, and become Mr. Hyde -- start having the foulest mouth you can ever imagine -- driving them away. He drove away all my friends, too, but I'd become hooked on him. I could not bring myself to get away, despite every "red flag" in the book. After NINE YEARS wasted on him trying to "fix him" and believing if I left him he might commit suicide, I left. Best thing I ever did, but I got really hypomanic and upset for several months after I left. I did a lot of things that I am now very embarrassed about doing.

[RainyDay107]

I've not needed "a break" from my ten year relationship with my partner. He hasn't either. We both have bipolar 1. Thinking of you.

[Rhea17]

Hi glamsham. Thank you for your kind words of hope. I did meet him the other day and he said he needs some time to think. He is confused as ever. I want him to get better. I know when he will be himself he will feel connected with me. Thank you all for the love

[LacunaCoiler]

Before I was officially diagnosed and early on in the med changes until we found out what meds worked for me I was breaking up with my wife (gf at the time). I spent a lot of the first few years in and out of a manic state (which was actually the reason my wife said get help or I leave).

I broke up with her because I thought she was holding me back. I broke up with her because she deserved better. I broke up with her because at the moment I was really pissed off at her and couldn't see the forest from the trees. However, every time I became stable again I went back to her and we moved on (I never cheated on her when we were "separated" though). Once we knew what was going on she'd often ignored my "I'm breaking up with you" and would tell me that I didn't mean it and it was just the bipolar talking and we'd talk when I calmed down.

I dunno if this is what your bf is experiencing but I just wanted to let you know that it could possibly be due to his mood. But it could also be that he's done with the relationship. I do wish you the best.

[Rhea17]

Thank you for so for sharing your experience. I feel that his bipolar is the reason behind this. He is sinking into depression these days. Nothing makes him feel better. He is having conflicting thoughts and he is confused as ever. He says that he does not feel connected to himself so he is feeling nothing for anyone. When I was around him the last time, he was happy though. He said give me some time. Bear with me during this phase. He is doing little things to feel better like yoga, playing his guitar, etc. Also having a lot of junk food these days and sleeping a lot. I hope he will be back in his senses soon once he is stabilized with the medications.
Lithalent 300mg
Lamitar 50mg
Stalopam 5mg
Resque 1mg
He is taking more medications but I don't have the updated prescription.
Any suggestion to help him with the depressive phase is highly appreciated. I am thinking of going his place today and put some flowers and re-do his place,sheets,towels in yellow and put some positive quotes in the wall for him. I hope he will feel better. Thank you so much everyone

Hi. This wanting to take things quickly is a marker of mania. Suddenly decided to go the opposite direction may be an indicator of depression. So is sabotaging relationships.

If you love this man, stick by. Let him know you are there to support him and that he matters.

A relationship with a bipolar significant other will be very rocky.

Not to be a Debbie Downer but you may have dodged a bullet. It's only been five months and he's saying he needs a break; to me that just means he's not that into you. You can barely know someone after five years, much less five months, so if this is what's going on early on, you can expect more of the same or worse.

[jacky8807]

Only 5 months in and you are centering yourself to work around his moods. I would love for someone to that for me lol
but to be honest I wouldn't be willing to do this for somebody else. That would get tiresome real quick.
Bipolar or not he has to get a grip and either commit to you or not
Good luck!

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Rhea17

...We used to talk daily and there not nothing wrong between us... Then yesterday...we had a minor argument... He had been verbally rude to me earlier... I confronted him saying his behavior had been hurting me and he cannot treat me like this... The moment I said this, he says I wanted to tell you something "I want time off the relationship. I can't be anyone's partner right now.' At one moment he was talking about moving in together and he loves me and the next moment he is being like this...
Please help if anyone with BIPOLAR has BROKEN UP and again got back together. Thank you so much

I am one, and you will ultimately find he has taken you hostage within a mental-emotional spider web you cannot escape if you do not let him know his being bi-polar is never going to be accepted as an excuse for wrong behaviour...and then stick to that even though bi-polar might at times at least partially explain his personal challenges in the relationships department. When the judge asked my second wife and I why we wanted to divorce, we told him we were incapable of being together without one or the other of us being hurt...and we were talking about more than mental-emotional harm. She was done with my abuse, and I still had no ability to treat her properly at all times. We re-married later on and have now been happily married for many years, but we both understand it is never okay for me to treat her disrespectfully and she never dances to my tune just because I happen to be bi-polar.

[Rhea17]

I appreciate all your support and love. I want to stick around him. I am also doing his psychotheraphy energy healing. He is better these days. Generally happy when I am around. Still very irritable at times. He loved that I re-did his place. He said now he feels like staying there. Appreciate any input or suggesstion to help him feel better. Thanks so much everyone