Does anyone have the constant battle with themselves to stay on meds? On one hand I know they are good for me and took me out of the worst depression I've ever had. On the other hand I did a long stretch between episodes before hand un medicated and I want that.

Actually I just want to unsubscribe from bipolar and anxiety and just not do it anymore. Quit meds and therapy and see what happens. So irresponsible, I know. But my head is always fighting with my head.

[Theresa1991]

I join you in unsubsribing from bipolar and anxiety. Where can I firm?

I am not on any meds, so no struggle. But I would actually like to be on some, to end the constant whirlwind in my head.

[franz kafka]

I struggle to stay on meds, especially when I'm feeling mostly well. Like right now. When I'm ill I'll take anything to stop feeling the way I'm feeling (or to get out of hospital), but when I'm well all I can think of are side effects.

I have had issues with med compliance too, but my therapist and I have been working on it.

Ultimately, whether or not you want to take meds is your decision and no one else can decide that for you, but I think you could benefit from talking to your therapist about these issues you are struggling with. Maybe he/she can help you come up with a plan for when and how you are going to quit meds to make sure you stay safe.

My recommendation is to tell your therapist exactly what you said here. Good luck!

[Leia78]

I have an ongoing fantasy of lining up my pill bottles in the driveway and backing over them with the car and pulling forward again over them, back and forth until their ground into nothing. Again, this is just a fantasy because I know that within 2 weeks of being without meds, I'd be a mess again. I do get sick of taking them, though. I take 5 for bipolar, 1 for ADHD, 1 for thyroid.

I have to go to the city once a month to see my psychiatrist and see my therapist every two weeks. I remember what kind of freedom it was before the days of mandatory shrink appointments and T visits.

[Miss Laura]

I'm constantly battling the meds thing. I miss the mania. But not the paranoia and delusions. So I stay on them but I hate taking them. I hate the fact I have to take them and tgw reasons behind taking them but I also feel ashamed at having to take them. It sucks big time

I have continuing weight gain. It's destroying my self esteem. Plus I hate the meds in general. I really badly just want to quit taking them all. I know ultimately it's my decision and that's what makes is so hard.

Yes, I want to quit meds and feel I should quit them as they are horribly harmful to my body, mind and soul. The mere implication that I must stay on them my whole life when I've had plenty of years of success without them is unimaginable and a ploy to make doctors jobs easier.

[scatterbrained04]

I go through periods were I get fed up and want to dump them. Usually when I'm not doing well.

[Moose72]

I feel horrible when I'm not on meds

[Faltering]

I recently quit my meds. I hate the side effects and risks of health issues. I also go in and out of denial about even being bipolar. I'm not doing well, but I can't say I was functioning optimally on meds either.

[catsofa]

I would happily quit, but I know I'd be very crazy very quickly. I dropped my AD about three weeks ago, and still no difference to mood.

[BipolaRNurse]

Taking meds sucks. But I know I'll always need to be on them, because I'm totally non-functional without them. I don't even want to think about the past when I was unmedicated---I was a hot mess, and I didn't even know why. I've been diagnosed for five years now and when I compare how life used to be versus what it is now, well, there IS no comparison. I still hate taking meds and sometimes (like now) I wish I didn't have to. But I do, and that's that.

[Nammu]

My latest cocktail is a success so I don't want to jeopardize or jinx it by going off but yeah I still struggle with this.

[Unrigged64072835]

I've felt stable since taking my current regimen. I'm not going to jeopardize it.