[xRavenx]

As T's tell us, it's important to take care of ourselves and look out for ourselves. When I'm hypo/manic, I tend to lose judgment and end up connecting with people who just aren't right for me. However, when I'm not stable (I'm currently unstable), I tend to seek the company of someone I dated who fulfilled all the "highs" I was seeking through living out of our means, excitement, manic pursuits.

He might have undiagnosed Bipolar, possibly borderline too. In addition to his reckless nature, he could have a hot temper, isn't unrealiable at all, has tremendous baggage, and has an alcohol problem though. I met him while hypo. I know he's not healthy to be around, yet still crave the past experiences. He's all about him now I realize and only comes around when he's feeling needy. At least that's how I perceive it.

I am just generally prone to hook up with all kinds of people who aren't right for me while unstable. During depression, I'll be disappointed, realizing they are not good friends or people to be around, and it makes me feel rejected, disappointed in myself, and in them. I feel I'm inadequate or not worth being around when all the sudden these "friends" are gone after they took advantage of me and my money while I was manic.

Any experiences with getting involved with the wrong people while manic? How did you feel when you "came back down to Earth." I'm really struggling with this. I think of times I felt on top of the world, without a care in the world. Now, I feel used, missing the way things were, and worthless. I don't even know how to proceed and heal.

[Standup2me]

I think that while manic we've all done that. That walking on the wild side, living on the edge..but when we feel omnipotent, we think that we're in control.
My third spouse was like that...I drifted to flame over and over, and when I finally committed and got stable I saw how much I was being used, and ended it.
It was hard to, and hard to realize blind I was to being used.
Can you share an experience?

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

I think that while manic we've all done that. That walking on the wild side, living on the edge..but when we feel omnipotent, we think that we're in control.
My third spouse was like that...I drifted to flame over and over, and when I finally committed and got stable I saw how much I was being used, and ended it.
It was hard to, and hard to realize blind I was to being used.
Can you share an experience?

I was used when I booked a whole vacation for me in a guy that I was dating for only a few months. We broke up before the trip, and tickets were non-refundable. He did not live up to his promise of paying for his portion or even show concern about the non-refundable tickets, although we had an agreement prior that he would pay for his ticket. The break up wasn't on bad terms. although I was hurt. He broke up, because he said he had to deal with his baggage, basically. I suppressed my anger though since he was rude to me prior to that and all about him, without consideration for my feelings. That side of him didn't come out to later. Prior to our break up, we were partying together, drinking, going expensive places, staying at top hotels, and living basically a hedonistic lifestyle out of our reach. Now, he's filing bankrupsy, and I'm still paying off bills.

Him and I made up, but we have a "flexible" dating situation. However, he is very unreliable. It seems to be all about him and on his terms. I seek him out when I am manic, because I yearn for the thrill of the rush of the lifestyle we were living. I glorify it......although I really shouldn't. Lately, I'm doing that, and I'm ashamed. I should have more self-respect and not date someone like this, but it's the "high" that I miss and the memories. I am blind when I'm impulsive and hypo/manic. I crave instant gratification, and I'm definitely feeling that way lately.