A lot of people here say they are more creative when they are (hypo)manic. However, are we sure we are not just as creative if not more creative when depressed?

Simply put,

Possible trigger:

I am a master at coming up with new reasons and new ways to kill myself. I also envisage horrific things that I could do to myself.

What a twisted world we live in

I wish I had no creativity at all. My meds don't take away my creativity.

[bioChE]

Blue, I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy....and I know that term doesn't come close to describing it. Have you had a chance to talk to your psychiatrist while you've been in such a dark place? If he's suggesting you go up on Seroquel, what have you got to lose? If that doesn't work, then it's on to the next thing.

I hate that the meds are trial and error. I hate the side effects. I hate the things I can't do because of the disease. But I would hate even more to think of what would happen to my family if I wasn't here anymore. Use your creativity to imagine the world for those who love you if you weren't here or if you were to do something terrible to yourself.

If nothing else, try to hang on for those of us on this forum who care about and for you. When you posted dark things last week and then didn't post for a few days, I had a conversation with a friend about how concerned we were for you. It was a ray of sunshine to see you post again, just to know that you were physically OK. It may not seem like much, but we do care. Be gentle with yourself, and do everything you can to continue to seek help IRL. You have people who care about you and how you are doing.

And please keep posting. Even if it's in the midst of your pain, you can be guaranteed there are people who are on here reading and feeling the same things. I regularly see well over a hundred people viewing this forum, and only a fraction of us actually post. The lurkers are in pain too.

[Wild Coyote]

^ ^ ^

Well-expressed post. I cannot add much.

(((((( Bluebicycle ))))))


WC

[boogiesmash]

Blue I hope you are feeling better today

have some hugs from me too.

((((hugs))))))

[mossanimal]

I think when reading things like 'Touched by Fire' they describe a connection to depression and a different kind of creativity. That whole 'making art from suffering' thing. Personally... I lose the creativity in my work when I'm 'normal' and go to more boring, technical stuff... far less risky. When I'm depressed I just don't care and don't have the energy to work let alone be creative. But my creativity requires a lot of physical work. I could see that if you were a poet, writer.. or maybe even a painter.. that you could produce. But expressed differently when normal or hypo.

My creativity explodes when my mood is high and stagnates when my mood is low. When i'm low my writing gets very concrete. My journal entries are just laundry lists of what i did that day and whether or not i had diarrhea.

[Unrigged64072835]

My creativity may be a lot when I'm manic but the quality is kind of iffy. Tend to do better when I'm stable. I also write when I'm depressed, but it tends to be the same old thing day after day.

[fishin fool]

I tend to be creative if I am hypo or depressed it just seems to be different.
I tend to write very well when I am depressed not so much when hypo.
Blue I hope you are feeling better.

[Moose72]

This begs the question: were the composers of requiems depressed when they wrote their masses for the dead? In fact, I like to listen to requiems when I'm manic- I get into all the nuances of the music.

[MBM17]

Hugs from here too.

My creativity when depressed is about expressing feeling. It's poetry and , and it's beautiful. When I am stable, I can barely color and can't write poetry at all. My hypomania doesn't involve grandiose ideas. It's usually like I get so anxious I can't focus enough and too agitated it to sit down to do anything creative. So my creativity I would say is higher when I am depressed. Definitely not worth the trade-off to me, though.

[bioChE]

Blue, I saw your note in the check in thread. It's great to hear the increased Seroquel is helping you. Kudos to you for following your doctor's advice.

Regarding the exhaustion, is the Ritalin helping with that? My Vyvanse usually clears it up if I take a bigger dose of Seroquel.

[meekayla]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and I'm hoping the pain eases soon!

I for one am definitely creative when I'm depressed. Not as much as when I'm hypo but tons more than when I am stable. I hate the "finding meaning in suffering" trope, but sometimes when I'm in a depressive episode turning my suffering into art is the only thing that keeps me going.