[Alokin]

This weekend I was hurt at a dirt bike race because of a dirty pass. This person was not in my divsion, in fact I was about to pass 2 people in my division.

I woke up last night at 0245 thinking about it I am so pissed off, in addition to almost being consumed by it since Sunday. I have been fighting the urge to post something passive aggressive on the Facebook group for the series I race or messaging the person I think did it.

How do you handle rumination?

[leejosepho]

Drop it and feel sad for the perpetrator. Retaliation never improves life for anyone, and holding the resentment only gives offenders rent-free space in our brains while they sleep soundly.

Originally Posted by leejosepho

Drop it and feel sad for the perpetrator. Retaliation never improves life for anyone, and holding the resentment only gives offenders rent-free space in our brains while they sleep soundly.

Rent-free space! Exactly! That's been a pretty powerful idea. A real mind-opener. (I first heard it put that way on a sitcom of all things(!) and it really stuck.)

Then I'll ask myself if they deserve my brain-space.

Hell no!

[Alokin]

I do not wish to retaliate, I know this rider is young and perhaps does not realize that his aggressive behavior is not necessary and is actually against AMA rules. The particular class he is in has a reputation for being overly aggressive, since it is round 2 someone is bound to complain anyway to remind these guys.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Alokin

I do not wish to retaliate...

This would be retaliatory:

Originally Posted by Alokin

...so pissed off...almost being consumed by it...fighting the urge to post something passive aggressive...

However, you have also recognized this:

I know this rider is young and perhaps does not realize that his aggressive behavior is not necessary and is actually against AMA rules.

You could try being helpful in an overall sense -- nothing retaliatory in any kind of way -- by posting something along that kind of line...just be sure to make no mention of anything having happened to yourself or who you think might have done it. I have been to many such events and seen all kinds of things, and even the officials typically shy away from "Did you see what he did to me?!" kinds of things since everyone soon forgets all about sportsmanship and brawls begin to simmer.

[Alokin]

If a young man wanted to fight this old lady, that would be pretty hilarious and I would just run away LOL

I just wish this class could pass mine in a civilized manner like all the other classes do, it really is not that hard, I can make passes with out taking people down, especially when people pull over for me like I did for this fellow, and if I did accidentally hit them i would apologize and/or make sure they were ok.

It was just a rude thing to happen.

Seriously though telling me to "just drop it" is not really helping with the rumination. If I could "just drop it" I would have done that already.

Originally Posted by leejosepho

This would be retaliatory:

However, you have also recognized this:

You could try being helpful in an overall sense -- nothing retaliatory in any kind of way -- by posting something along that kind of line...just be sure to make no mention of anything having happened to yourself or who you think might have done it. I have been to many such events and seen all kinds of things, and even the officials typically shy away from "Did you see what he did to me?!" kinds of things since everyone soon forgets all about sportsmanship and brawls begin to simmer.

[Nammu]

I tell myself . Ok, ok, just stop with the cud chewing. And visualize a big ole stop sign. Then try to distract myself with other things that need to be done. But you need to acknowledge the anger and accept the feelings, don't try to discount the feelings because they are real, accept them, feel them and acknowledged that there's nothing you can do.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with Nammu. I tend to ruminate too. It's tough and makes you feel worse. There was a recent thread on here that had a link describing rumination and how to stop. I'll try to find it.

[Alokin]

Excellent, thank you.

I think a lot of it is fear based in this case because I will be racing with this guy for another 12 rounds, we need to figure out how he can pass me with out hurting me. It is tough to get the courage to go out there in the first place, but having to worry out aggressive passers just adds to the fear.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I agree with Nammu. I tend to ruminate too. It's tough and makes you feel worse. There was a recent thread on here that had a link describing rumination and how to stop. I'll try to find it.