Really very paranoid

Flutterby11 · Apr 20, 2017, 09:34 PM

so i dont know what to do i am super scared there is someone spying on me and that they are going to hurt me and i have been hiding for days and i am scared all the time and i keep having panic attacks i am starting to get scared of the people around me too like i am scared of my doctor and mental health worker and i dont know who i can trust and i have been really depressed and starting to get suicidal again. i am just so scared. sorry this is mostly just to get things off my chest but any input is welcome.

Wander · Apr 20, 2017, 10:50 PM

Just remember it is paranoia not realty. I know it feels that way though and is very frightening. No one is out to harm you. You are safe.

When is your next appointment with your treatment team? This needs to be brought up, clearly, seriously, and without holding back on the details. they need to know exactly what you are going through to be able to help you.

Take care.please stay safe.

MusicLover82 · Apr 20, 2017, 11:56 PM

Go to the hospital. You are experiencing serious symptoms that need treatment.

Flutterby11 · Apr 21, 2017, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Just remember it is paranoia not realty. I know it feels that way though and is very frightening. No one is out to harm you. You are safe.

When is your next appointment with your treatment team? This needs to be brought up, clearly, seriously, and without holding back on the details. they need to know exactly what you are going through to be able to help you.

Take care.please stay safe.

the appointment is in a few days i am scared to talk to them i will try my best... this is all very frustrating i cant even function at the moment and i am so scared all the time i cant take this much longer i cant.

Wander · Apr 21, 2017, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

the appointment is in a few days i am scared to talk to them i will try my best... this is all very frustrating i cant even function at the moment and i am so scared all the time i cant take this much longer i cant.

Talk to them openly and honestly. You are in serious danger from yourself, no one else. The paranoia that is telling you not to talk to them is working against you. It is the opposite. You need to share everything.

Hang in there!

Flutterby11 · Apr 21, 2017, 02:33 AM

i will try.

i am so exhausted i cant rest and i dont feel safe anywhere i keep missing events because i am too scared and my head wont stop i want to cry i am scared people arent who they say they are and i dont know what to do anymore. this really is intolerable.

Sunflower123 · Apr 21, 2017, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

i will try.

i am so exhausted i cant rest and i dont feel safe anywhere i keep missing events because i am too scared and my head wont stop i want to cry i am scared people arent who they say they are and i dont know what to do anymore. this really is intolerable.

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. When do you see your treatment team? Can you keep your self safe until then? I'm worried for you. The paranoia is not reality. Please tell your doctors the truth so they can help you.

Flutterby11 · Apr 21, 2017, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. When do you see your treatment team? Can you keep your self safe until then? I'm worried for you. The paranoia is not reality. Please tell your doctors the truth so they can help you.

i see them in a few days. i am trying my hardest to keep safe but i dont know. i am honestly so so so scared i cant take it.

Flutterby11 · Apr 21, 2017, 08:41 PM

things are A LOT worse today i am hiding again and i am too scared to call anyone incase my phone is being tapped and i want to scream and i cant take this i am so incredibly scared and i am literally crying as i write this and i dont know what to do i have ruined everything i cant take this i cant i am sorry to bother everyone

Guiness187055 · Apr 21, 2017, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

things are A LOT worse today i am hiding again and i am too scared to call anyone incase my phone is being tapped and i want to scream and i cant take this i am so incredibly scared and i am literally crying as i write this and i dont know what to do i have ruined everything i cant take this i cant i am sorry to bother everyone

Find the strength to call for help. These episodes tend to get worse. Ask someone you trust to take you to the hospital and this will start to go away.

Flutterby11 · Apr 21, 2017, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Find the strength to call for help. These episodes tend to get worse. Ask someone you trust to take you to the hospital and this will start to go away.

i am trying but i am sooooo scared i am actually shaking this all feels so real and what if the person watching me is actually at the hospital what if i cant trust anybody what if it is a group of people watching me what if they followed me there and how can i know who i can trust and who is working for the person who is watching me......

Wander · Apr 22, 2017, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

i am trying but i am sooooo scared i am actually shaking this all feels so real and what if the person watching me is actually at the hospital what if i cant trust anybody what if it is a group of people watching me what if they followed me there and how can i know who i can trust and who is working for the person who is watching me......

You have had this kind of paranoia before and no one harmed you in the hospital. I really think you need to go to hospital asap. You are not safe from yourself. Please listen to us and seek help. People are trained to help, not harm you. Take a risk. It is worth the fight with your paranoia to try to think rationally, and if your can't. listen to us here trying to help you. We care and wish you no harm.

Flutterby11 · Apr 22, 2017, 05:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

You have had this kind of paranoia before and no one harmed you in the hospital. I really think you need to go to hospital asap. You are not safe from yourself. Please listen to us and seek help. People are trained to help, not harm you. Take a risk. It is worth the fight with your paranoia to try to think rationally, and if your can't. listen to us here trying to help you. We care and wish you no harm.

2 days i just have to make it 2 days then i see pdoc i dont know if i can though now i am freaking out that people are putting stuff in my food too i am sorry i am such a bother i am just really a mess right now i am mad that these thoughts are back and then i wonder if the hospital didnt fix it before who is to say they will now or worse what if i am right and this is all real then i would be even more scared. i dont know what to do i know i am not ok but i really dont know i just ugh i am a mess i just cant think straight and i have been so stressed lately and i cant take this.

Wander · Apr 22, 2017, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

2 days i just have to make it 2 days then i see pdoc i dont know if i can though now i am freaking out that people are putting stuff in my food too i am sorry i am such a bother i am just really a mess right now i am mad that these thoughts are back and then i wonder if the hospital didnt fix it before who is to say they will now or worse what if i am right and this is all real then i would be even more scared. i dont know what to do i know i am not ok but i really dont know i just ugh i am a mess i just cant think straight and i have been so stressed lately and i cant take this.

Can you stay safe for two days?

When you see your pdoc, maybe take in a piece of paper with all your symptoms and concerns to help jog your mind. Let them know everything, including the fact that you are worried they will hurt you. Hopefully, they will be able to help you come back to reality and feel safer. If IP is an option I would go with that. Treatment happens much faster that way. What kind of hospital do you go to?

1sassyturner · Apr 22, 2017, 06:14 PM

Why is the only help for people with this Hospital? My hospital suck
they don't help they say things like get over you should be able to Handel this but fact is I can't

Wander · Apr 22, 2017, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1sassyturner

Why is the only help for people with this Hospital? My hospital suck
they don't help they say things like get over you should be able to Handel this but fact is I can't

Some hospitals suck but others are an excellent place for treatment. If someone is a danger to themselves then the best place is a hospital, even if just to keep them safe. I am sorry you have had such bad experiences. My experiences of hospital have been mostly great and have saved my life and given me the treatment I needed to get back on my feet. Sometimes it takes multiple hospitalisations to get things right.

Hang in there flutter! You have my support.

1sassyturner · Apr 22, 2017, 06:22 PM

Thank you it nice to know that someone cares

Flutterby11 · Apr 22, 2017, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Can you stay safe for two days?

When you see your pdoc, maybe take in a piece of paper with all your symptoms and concerns to help jog your mind. Let them know everything, including the fact that you are worried they will hurt you. Hopefully, they will be able to help you come back to reality and feel safer. If IP is an option I would go with that. Treatment happens much faster that way. What kind of hospital do you go to?

i dont know i only have to make it to tomorrow now so if i can make it to today and tonight without doing anything then i will be ok maybe i dont know what the doctor will do about any of this though i still dont trust them ugh this is so frustrating i dont know what to do i am still really scared and part of me is scared to tell them in case i do end up back at the hospital it is not very nice there a lot of the nurses are mean and dont like their jobs and the doctors there dont really care about the patients at all. it is not a good place to be when you are scared. that is if they even had any beds.

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