[tada26]

Hello, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (II) back in 2002. I was put on Lamictal to control the symptoms. Fast forward to 2009, I lose my job and insurance coverage, and the Lamictal. So I decided to control it myself. The drug of choice was alcohol. So for the last eight years I have drank whiskey nightly to slow things down and let me sleep. But a bad relationship with me wife has not helped and my liquor consumption went up to around a 1.5 liter bottle/week.

My performance at work started dropping after staying up late drinking and arguing, and arguing each day before work. I get my work done, but I am irritable and short. I do not drink before or during work, period. But when I got home, the booze flowed.

I had an annual performance review at work on 3/23. During the review I was told my work was satisfactory and that my team liked me. On 4/22, I had a meeting that I knew would be a problem, and I chose to stay quiet during the meeting. Within 24 hours I was demoted 3 job grade levels, reassigned, and placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), the legal last step before termination.

I spoke to an attorney who told me to ask for a medical accommodation under the ADA that world rescind the PIP and return me to my position. But my company requires a current diagnosis. I arranged a meeting with a local "behavioral" psychiatrist who seemed to be really upfront and friendly. She put me on depakote and warned me of the side effects. She also told me to stop drinking. Between our meetings (1 week) I had a bad day where I got drunk. I reported it to her.

Her reaction was to tell me to take a note pad and write the following things:
1. I am a fool
2. I am selfish and self absorbed
3. I lack any consideration
4. I have character flaws, probably narcissism
5. I did not take treatment seriou
6. I'm an alcoholic
7. I burn bridges
8. I show no respect and people are tired or my act. And I'm a smart ***.

I was then told she would "fire me" if I did not start attending daily AA meetings and get a sponsor. I went to the meetings and heard many drunkalogues. But the faith based cure and the tenant that free will is shameful does not agree with me. What is wrong with using a prescription with CBT?

Should a psychiatrist really berate and bully the patient. I no longer want to speak with my psychiatrist. I don't really want another hour of insults. Please give your advice.

[jacky8807]

Originally Posted by tada26

Hello, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (II) back in 2002. I was put on Lamictal to control the symptoms. Fast forward to 2009, I lose my job and insurance coverage, and the Lamictal. So I decided to control it myself. The drug of choice was alcohol. So for the last eight years I have drank whiskey nightly to slow things down and let me sleep. But a bad relationship with me wife has not helped and my liquor consumption went up to around a 1.5 liter bottle/week.

My performance at work started dropping after staying up late drinking and arguing, and arguing each day before work. I get my work done, but I am irritable and short. I do not drink before or during work, period. But when I got home, the booze flowed.

I had an annual performance review at work on 3/23. During the review I was told my work was satisfactory and that my team liked me. On 4/22, I had a meeting that I knew would be a problem, and I chose to stay quiet during the meeting. Within 24 hours I was demoted 3 job grade levels, reassigned, and placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), the legal last step before termination.

I spoke to an attorney who told me to ask for a medical accommodation under the ADA that world rescind the PIP and return me to my position. But my company requires a current diagnosis. I arranged a meeting with a local "behavioral" psychiatrist who seemed to be really upfront and friendly. She put me on depakote and warned me of the side effects. She also told me to stop drinking. Between our meetings (1 week) I had a bad day where I got drunk. I reported it to her.

Her reaction was to tell me to take a note pad and write the following things:
1. I am a fool
2. I am selfish and self absorbed
3. I lack any consideration
4. I have character flaws, probably narcissism
5. I did not take treatment seriou
6. I'm an alcoholic
7. I burn bridges
8. I show no respect and people are tired or my act. And I'm a smart ***.

I was then told she would "fire me" if I did not start attending daily AA meetings and get a sponsor. I went to the meetings and heard many drunkalogues. But the faith based cure and the tenant that free will is shameful does not agree with me. What is wrong with using a prescription with CBT?

Should a psychiatrist really berate and bully the patient. I no longer want to speak with my psychiatrist. I don't really want another hour of insults. Please give your advice.

WOW. she told you to write those things down about yourself? I would say run as fast as you can. That is demeaning and unprofessional and is not going to help someone with problems. If there are certain truths you have to face about yourself I DO recommend doing so. But for her to say those things is incredibly .....just wow. Be careful with Depakote and drinking.
I would look for a new PDOC and DEFINITLY get into some kind of help for the drinking. I don't have much advice about the job but if you don't get the drinking and other symptoms under control they will find a way to fire you.

GOOD LUCK and keep posting

That emoticon was my reaction. I almost don't even know what to say, word-wise. I'd find someone else pronto. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Therapy is not always fun, sometimes the work is hard. But they should help you discover such things as negative thinking patterns you might have and work on healthier ones, which consequently can help navigating life. But at the best (imo) they lead you to discovering things for yourself -- having your lightbulb go off bringing on "aha moments".

AA isn't for everyone. There are other programs/approaches out there. Hopefully others will chime in with some (because the only other one I know is where my BF went many years ago, which would not be practical for your situation.)

And btw, welcome to the forums tada26!

[Sunflower123]

I encourage you to get another pdoc immediately. That was inappropriate and unprofessional and demeaning to you. I'm sorry that happened to you. Best wishes on getting your drinking straightened out.

[rwwff]

I'm pretty tolerant about what I expect from MD/DO type people in terms of empathy or kindness, but even by my standards that was over the top. I'd start looking for a new doc, but I'd stay with this one till you have your work situation stable; if you are switching docs too soon, it may look like you doctor shopped in the first place to get your job back.

As to higher power & AA? meh, I'd try not to get too worked up about it, it need not be a currently worshiped deity of a monotheistic religion; just some external point of reference that you can figuratively "lean on".... At least that's my understanding.

ps: alcohol is bad. Mr. Mackey said so.

[~Christina]

Wtf ? Seriously find a new provider, sure you need to stop drinking as it's virtually impossible to find any kind of stability while drinking.

Good luck

[still_crazy]

omg. wow. ive had terrible shrinks, and this lady sounds terrible. I'd spend your resource$ elsewhere, personally.