[lilypup]

I keep a diary on my phone. I was reading back over some of my entries and I noticed something in most of all of the days. It was some reference to being tired, exhausted, or needing to rest. I realized this has been going on a long time.

I'm not down in bed, immobile, and unable to talk. I'm not that depressed. (Although I've been there before.) I am able to go places, but I don't want to. When I do go somewhere, I am always half thinking of my couch and how I can't wait to get back to rest.

I had my blood work done last week, including thyroid. Everything came back fine, so it's not that. I thought maybe it was my meds. But my Rexulti and the Wellbutrin are supposed to be activating (I think) and the Lamictal I think is sort of neutral. I just started the Gabapentin a month ago, so it couldn't be that. And I'm basically off the Klonopin.

My guess is that is just some sort of low level depression. I also have developed terrible anxiety, which I feel is exhausting. I see my pdoc next week and will tell her about being tired. I'd like a better quality of life. And I am so sick of trying everything to get better. I don't want to meditate, go to yoga, or think of things I am thankful for one more time. And don't get me started on exercise.

I see two therapists and plan to tell them about this today and next week. But I doubt they'll have an answer.

Some friends of ours have a beautiful cabin up in the mountains and they've invited us there for a couple of different long weekends this summer. These people have a bp daughter and they know me well. They understand when I need to lay down. No judgment. But I don't even know that I want to go. Between my car anxiety and my loving my couch I'm afraid it just wouldn't be a decent time. However, that's not very fair to my husband.

I love my husband and he means well, but his idea of my living a successful life is my being out of bed, out of the hospital, and not sui. He doesn't expect a lot. Neither does my pdoc.

As I've gotten older, the mania has greatly declined and I can't shake the low depression. I can't even remember mania. I'd sure love a little burst of hypo. But I might give myself a heart attack.

Anyone else out there tired? What do you think?

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry you are feeling so tired. I am truly saddened to know someone/anyone else is struggling.

I can relate. I have been in a severe depression and have felt chained to my bed. On better days, when I can force myself to go out, I am often thinking about going home and back to my bedroom.

In addition to bipolar depression, I have fatiguing illnesses, chronic pain (which is fatiguing) and some meds have sedating side-effects.

There's a lot of stress in my life this year, too.

I keep trying, keep tweaking meds, keep trying to think differently, etc.
However, the depression dominates, as does the fatigue. It's been a very long time now.

Hope you'll have better days soon!

WC

[markmcc21]

I stay tired all the time. It's damned near narcolepsy. I'm sure it's the meds (plus this never-ending depression). I think my pdoc is going to prescribe a stimulant for me. I really and truly can barely stay awake every single day.

The danger, of course, is that a stimulant will ramp up anxiety. I guess at least I'll be awake!

[BlueInanna]

I'm so tired too. Anxiety is exhausting. And being exhausted causes me more anxiety! My boyfriend means well, but like your husband, thinks I need to be out and active all the time. Not gonna happen.
I hope you feel better soon. Hugs.

[hopeless2015]

Yes all my meds have a side effect of fatigue, I can never get enough sleep and have to nap on Sat and Sun

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by markmcc21

I stay tired all the time. It's damned near narcolepsy. I'm sure it's the meds (plus this never-ending depression). I think my pdoc is going to prescribe a stimulant for me. I really and truly can barely stay awake every single day.

The danger, of course, is that a stimulant will ramp up anxiety. I guess at least I'll be awake!

Sorry, Mark.
That's how I stay awake all day long: Lots of Wellbutrin and Adderall added to my other meds. I go as far as taking my first Wellbutrin dose at 3 a.m., so I can get up by 7 or 8 a.m. I hope you find something helpful.


WC

[lilypup]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am sorry you are feeling so tired. I am truly saddened to know someone/anyone else is struggling.

I can relate. I have been in a severe depression and have felt chained to my bed. On better days, when I can force myself to go out, I am often thinking about going home and back to my bedroom.

In addition to bipolar depression, I have fatiguing illnesses, chronic pain (which is fatiguing) and some meds have sedating side-effects.

There's a lot of stress in my life this year, too.

I keep trying, keep tweaking meds, keep trying to think differently, etc.
However, the depression dominates, as does the fatigue. It's been a very long time now.

Hope you'll have better days soon!

WC

WC,

I am so impressed and heartened by the fact that you keep trying. I feel like giving up many days, but honestly, I try too. I am also truly sad to hear others are struggling. You will be in my thoughts.

[lilypup]

Originally Posted by markmcc21

I stay tired all the time. It's damned near narcolepsy. I'm sure it's the meds (plus this never-ending depression). I think my pdoc is going to prescribe a stimulant for me. I really and truly can barely stay awake every single day.

The danger, of course, is that a stimulant will ramp up anxiety. I guess at least I'll be awake!

Don't take this the wrong way Mark, but I laughed a little at your post! Yes, you're right. They're probably going to wake you up, just so you can be anxious. What a choice!

Love ya,
lily

[markmcc21]

Originally Posted by lilypup

Don't take this the wrong way Mark, but I laughed a little at your post! Yes, you're right. They're probably going to wake you up, just so you can be anxious. What a choice!

Love ya,
lily

You made me smile for the first time today. Thanks!

[~Christina]

Bipolar = exhaustion for so many of us !

I hope your feeling better soon, You deserve a much needed break

[Unrigged64072835]

Just about all my meds have a drowsiness caution label on them. With as many as I take I should be comatose. Instead I'm tired and sort of meh. I can't take stimulants or some ADs either as they ramp my anxiety. Right now I have a problem with Latuda ramping me up. I'm seeing a new pdoc near the end of the month so who knows what I'll be put on.

I hope you and your pdoc can work out something for you.

[lilypup]

I just got finished talking to my T. She had some interesting points:

-first, just because I am "stable" on my meds, does not mean I am going to hop up and have the energy to live a robust, active life. Bp and MI doesn't work that way for many people.

-the big problem I have is stamina. I love that term..I think it describes me perfectly. So I can get up, get dressed, and get somewhere, but I don't want to stay long.

-one suggestion to try: when I know I am going somewhere, figure out what a reasonable time limit is. If it's a party for example, think about when I want to leave. Maybe add 30 minutes on to that. Sit down and try to relax. Once I've made the 30 minutes, feel good about heading back to the couch.

She also said "Hey, entire kingdoms have been run from a couch". I agreed. I do get a lot done in little spurts and I do support my family emotionally from the couch. And there is always a hot dinner at 6pm. That's not bad.

[Moose72]

I get up wide awake. I get up the same time every day (give or take a few snooze pushes) and go to bed around the same time (8:30 or 9). But I'm still tired! Sometimes, I try to nap, but I find that doesn't really help. I get up and still feel tired. (Like today.) So then, I look forward to bedtime. But, the sun is still up! Then things like my kitchen flooding happen and I wonder why I'm NOT horribly depressed. Maybe I am and don't know it? I just seem bland and I guess stable except I feel terribly anxious the last couple days (flood). Right now, I'm in my pajamas just biding my time until I can get into bed. Maybe I'll go read a bit.

[Sunflower123]

Here lately, I've had to take naps each day and by 9-10 I'm out like a light. I have been more active lately.

[lilypup]

Well, it's another day and I'm still down on the couch. I have some nausea from my breakfast. To go out somewhere, I need to take a shower and wash my hair and I just don't feel like that.

Hopefully, I can shower by tonight and be ready to go church in the morning. There are also some nice new neighbors across the street that need some cookies. I've got to get my act together and at least do some minimal activities.

Thanks for listening.