I'm having issues with med compliance AGAIN. I'm seriously notorious for not taking my meds when I'm stable. It's not a denial thing, either. It's mostly, "ehh, it's not going to hurt if I miss a few doses..." or "I don't feel like it" or flat out "I don't want to do it." So I guess it's a motivation thing?

I don't know what to do with myself. When I get like this, I tend to become manic or depressed pretty quickly. I know it's "not hard" to swallow a few pills, but idk... It's just hard to explain.

And no, the lack of motivation is not depression speaking. It's me thinking I can get away with not taking my meds.

[Hobbit House]

Understanding is the first step... can you make it a routine? That's what I do.

You know you are making a bad choice. Choose NOW to do differently. It really IS that simple. Pick up the meds are get back on track. Period. No excuses. You know the problem. Choose to fix it now.

[Sunflower123]

I hope you can make it a part of your normal routine so you stay in compliance. I understand what you're saying though. I went through a period of that a few weeks ago...the same thoughts and feelings. Fortunately, I didn't have to pay the price for it. Best wishes.

[rwwff]

Maybe add a bit of positive reinforcement for yourself each time you pick up your little cup/pill holder/whatever.

Something like, "Today and tomorrow, I can do what I choose to do, and think as I choose to think, because in this moment, I choose to take these meds." Just something positive and kinda formal, a statement of defiance against disorder and mayhem.

[visualizing Aragorn giving his speech but like, "depression or mania may someday win, but it is not THIS day."] lol.

Roll your own of course as fits your personality, but for me, these things are like armor and I'll never wander out onto the battlefield of life again without my armor. Though, some of the pieces may change over time as style and fitness for duty change.

[Wild Coyote]

If you truly feel you can get away without a few doses, you're still in denial to some degree.

If you know you're going to pay a price, you're involved in self-sabotage.

What would happen if you just decide to be compliant and take your meds?


WC

[SKCher]

I can relate, but in a slightly different way. Therapy.... When I am down and depressed, I am gung ho for help, but when I am up, and summer comes, I feel I don't need it and walk away. I think they get frustrated with me. I find I get into more trouble when away from a therapist, and so come winter, I have all kinds of guilt and anger to deal with

[still_crazy]

I don't know to say. I'm not one to condemn people. Do you think maybe your prescribed psych drugs are impacting your quality of life in negative ways, and maybe that's one reason you jump at the chance to drop the drugs?

I have the same problem Blue. I've been forgetting to take my medications a lot lately and I feel like I'm being sneaky. The reason I do it is fear of TD. I'm terrified and feel I'm playing Russian roulette. Do you know how they say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Well TD would be a permanent problem acquired from taking meds for a temporary problem. I need to talk to my therapist about all this.

[*Laurie*]

Hi blue, "It's me thinking I can get away with not taking my meds" -That is denial, hun.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by rwwff

Maybe add a bit of positive reinforcement for yourself each time you pick up your little cup/pill holder/whatever

Ok when I read this I was thinking m and m's ....I used to not be able to swallow meds as a kid so my mom let me chew up a few m and ms and swallow the pill with that. Yes a few chocolate candies would be enough positive reinforcement for me...

[~Christina]

Have you read back through your posts ?

Sometimes seeing things in black and white can help you realize what you should and shouldn't do , just fill a pill weekly box and just take them daily like you use deodorant or brush your teeth.

You need and deserve stability.

Just a thought.

[Unrigged64072835]

Do you think you're better because of your meds, or because of other circumstances? Are the meds causing the stability, or something else?

You might want to talk to your pdoc, or see a therapist, to find out why you want to bail out on taking meds.

[BipolaRNurse]

Every spring, quite reliably, I try to give myself a "drug holiday". And even more reliably, the results are disastrous. These meds don't have me on a short leash, they've got me in a chokehold, and I can feel the effects within HOURS of a missed dose.

I tried going without meds a couple of weeks ago. It didn't last because I started out with the nighttime meds, didn't sleep a wink, and felt like I was crawling out of my skin. Terrible racing thoughts and panicky/manicky feelings coursed through my body. It's really hard to explain. I take antipsychotics twice a day, and missing those especially does horrible things to me. But did I take the meds the next morning? NO! I wanted to see if I could get out of freak-out mode by myself. I didn't sleep a second night, and 48 hours into my "experiment" I gobbled those pills like Reese's Pieces.

I don't know why I do this every year either. I do know it has something to do with the fact that I get a little hypomanic in the spring, and I feel so good that I think I don't even have bipolar anymore and thus do not need meds. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

[bioChE]

When we're stable on meds, most of us question our diagnosis. No surprise there.

Personally, I'm med-compliant to a fault. Might be out of habit after doing this for twenty years, or might be out of fear of withdrawal. Probably a little of both.