[dshantel]

I'm just now realizing what's wrong with my marriage. I write on here quite a bit usually when I'm not doing so good. I was kind of depressed for a little bit there. Some days are better than others. Anyways, my recent problems were being lonely and not having friends anymore and my husband not paying me the attention that I need. I think moving to a new place and being isolated is what triggered the depression but now I see the problem with my marriage is that I'm not the girl he fell in love with. When I met my husband I was in a manic / hypomanic state that lasted pretty much the duration of our first year. On and off. But then he got deployed for a year during which time I was severely depressed and mixed. So he basically comes home to a different person. Every since then my episodes are mostly mixed and depressed. I've had hypomanic episode's but nothing compared to that year. 2013 I was on top of the world. I had all the answers and I could do or be whatever I wanted. Thats how I felt. I dont feel that way anymore. I love him so much and we've been through a lot but I think he's bored with me now. He hated my bipolar. He's said a few times that he wishes I was how I used to be in the beginning because I was so happy and now I'm not happy. Its not that I'm not happy, I'm just not overly happy and I have quite a few mixed and depressed episodes and I can't help it. Why do I have to be this way. I can't even be everything that my husband needs me to be for him.
I'm not feeling very good right now. I dont know what to do anymore.

[Sunflower123]

Would your husband be open to couples counseling?

[Wild Coyote]

It can be a challenge to stay close in a marriage with BP intruding.

I second Jennifer's suggestion of couples counseling.
Is it a possibility?


WC

[dshantel]

I will ask him about it when he gets off work. The only problem is when the kids come home from the Grandparents we won't have a baby sitter.

[x_blessed]

Hey dshantel, thanks for posting! I like reading them because i can relate so much, almost like reading my own thoughts, and others responses are also helpful.

I agree with the couples counseling idea, I believe it would be much better if he understood and knew how to handle or deal with your mood swings and different episodes.

[dshantel]

Thank you

[Unrigged64072835]

I hope you're able to get the help you need. Your husband needs to love you for who you are now, not who you used to be.

[liveforsummer]

I highly suspect you are not alone and a lot of our significant others miss our "fun" hypomanic side.
I hope you're able to try couples counselling, that sounds like a good idea.

[bshaffer836]

Like many I think couples counseling is a good option. Just let him know you love him no matter what and like him you wish you were happier too. Good luck!

[dshantel]

Thanks you guys.

[Mightymax]

It may be hard but try to have a happy moment together whenever you can even if you got to fake a little happiness. Take care.

[dshantel]

Originally Posted by Mightymax

It may be hard but try to have a happy moment together whenever you can even if you got to fake a little happiness. Take care.

I don't have to fake being happy because we do have happy moments but my depression and mixed episodes seem to outshine any happiness. The episodes are more memorable it seems and all he wants is me to be happy and showing it all the time. When I'm doing fine I'm happy but it doesn't show like when I'm hypomanic. Does that make sense?

[Fuzzybear]