[franz kafka]

How do you experience psychotic depression?

I have this right now. I'm convinced I'm in an alternate universe that will die soon. There's an evil entity putting suicidal thoughts into my head. On top of this I have no energy or motivation and generally think I'm a crappy person.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I don't think you are a crappy person.

I've only had one psychosis. I've had a Times that I was very delusional, but only one psychotic break. And it had a lot of PTSD elements to it so what I was saying was partly true. But I was so out of it I wouldn't have been able to post on here and I wasn't quite sure what was happening.

So I don't know if I'm of any help, but it does sound like you have some insight. Can you try taking some extra zyprexa and contacting your pdoc asap? Try some grounding skills? Lavender really helps to ground me. Other strong, soothing smells as well. Try and use your five senses? I'm sorry, idk if I'm any help at all. So sorry you're struggling.

I hope you feel better soon! I too used to have zero energy. I'm not sure if this worked for me or if it was due to something else but so far for a few weeks straight I've had a lot more energy after taking high dosage of B12 (5000mg), B6, B3 (Niacin). I read studies that high dosages of B6 & B3 significantly lowered depression. B12 is for energy. You know what they say. Vitamin Bs Beat Blues.

[franz kafka]

Pdoc upped my seroquel, so we'll see if that does anything. I have a tiny bit of insight left over (enough to contact my docs), but in general I'm pretty convinced of my odd situation.

[Wander]

Last Nov/Dec I experienced a psychotic mixed state. I alternated between euphoria with delusions and hallucinations and suicidal depression with delusions. When depressed my suicidal plans were very delusional and grandiose. I also heard voices and felt I was in 'unreality'. It was a horrible experience so my heart goes out to you. At the time I was IP for safety. It took weeks to bring me back to reality.

[franz kafka]

I can relate to the feeling of unreality, Wander. I'm glad you made it through your mixed state.

[bukowski06]

I'm sorry I do not know very much about some of the meds used but I wanted to ask if any of the ones you're currently taking work as stimulants?
When my husband was in grad school he started taking the stimulant Aderall and eventually abusing it, he did this on his own unbeknownst to anybody. He developed psychosis and delusions. He now has been diagnosed with schizoaffective. I would just like to learn more about this. i hope that you will be able to find some relief and that things will calm down soon.

[Sunflower123]

Keep fighting it and stay in close contact with your pdoc. You're doing good with your insight. I'm sorry you are struggling so. I hope you start feeling better soon. Thinking of you.

[Wild Coyote]

I've been amazed with your stamina during episodes. It appears you are able to tolerate a lot without "falling apart."
I haven't had a psychotic depression, so I can't compare notes with you.
Just wanted to tell you I admire you and I hope you'll continue to stay safe.


WC

[MyPOV]

Originally Posted by franz kafka

How do you experience psychotic depression?

I have this right now. I'm convinced I'm in an alternate universe that will die soon. There's an evil entity putting suicidal thoughts into my head. On top of this I have no energy or motivation and generally think I'm a crappy person.

But you know it's not real? I guess if I ever had psychosis, I can't recall ever knowing it -- delusions for sure -- i have those and identify them (after a bit) but that doesn't always mean they go away.

I am pulling from you -- and maybe identifying it will help combat it?

[Icare dixit]

Go outside. Preoccupy your mind. It's no coincidence some with SZ really can't be indoors and live in cities (though I think it's likely that, in cities, developing SZ is more likely).

It's about the right amount of (mental) stimulation. We need generally a bit more stimulation than most, but the most we can cope with is less than what most people can cope with.

I don't think you can identify delusions. But you can test assumptions, find alternative explanations (by changing some assumptions) or discover flaws in your reasoning. Be sceptical and find someone you can trust to talk about your beliefs.