Need advise/support

Thank you Laurie. I took my son to meet with his dual diagnosis therapist. She is the one who put a rush on getting him through the process. He is suppose to go to an outpatient program for a few weeks and then a counselor decide if he needs to a treatment center but she got him approved right away. We just needed to wait for a bed to free up which is going to be a week. I wish it were sooner but I'm grateful they bipassed a bunch of red tape in the process considering the circumstance. My son has a serve physical health condition to of his intestines.....drinking for him is so much worse and his stomach has been hurting him so I hope it deters him from drinking. I hope, I hope, I hope. I would prefer not to send him anywhere involuntarily.......we will call ambulance if needed and anything dangerous happens again. If he goes out to drink he will not be allowed back in and he knows this. We just have to get him to that treatment facility and everything will turn around for him. We need to get him away from the horrible crowd he's taken up with. It's unbelievable!!!! He will never get better hanging out with these kinds of people and please keep in mind I'm a pretty understanding and non judgmental kind of person. When my son is healthy, he's such a sweet boy, we have such a good relationship but he keeps sinking further down and further away into something we don't recognize anyway. I've been watching him slowly kill himself and it's been killing me. I'm just so glad that a dual diagnosis facility is available. As his therapist explained and it goes toreason, dual diagnosis is much harder and trickier to treat. My son is just going to "get us off his back" as he says but I hope his eyes will be opened and he will see clearly again soon.

Another bit of good news is my son signed the permission form for me to communicate with his doctors. This was vital and took some convincing but the therapist convinced him it was most certainly in his best interest. It was vital for us to be able to give them important information on his behaviors so they know better what they are dealing with.

Oh elsa.
I am so happy he is willing to get some help.
Know that you are a wonderful mother and it is obvious that he weighs heavily on your mind.
I hope you stabilize soon for your familys sake.
Know that a bunch of people here care about you. Thanks for posting and keeping us up to date>
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

You are a wonderful mom. So many kids have parents who just give up.

My oldest son had a childhood friend who became an alcoholic at about 23. He had severe IBS type problems so drinking was so bad for him. My son actually moved out from a place they were sharing so I knew it was bad. The good news is this kid turned it around. AA helped him also. He's doing so well now

Hang in there and try to breathe.

Many hugs and much love.

At 20 I didn't believe I had a mental illness. hopefully he'll go in voluntary. Who does he listen to? That's the person you need to tell him that he has a mental illness.

Thank you again everyone. My son stayed in last night. 1 day down and 6 more to go. I'm filled with a mixture of hope and fear. I will rest so much better once he's in treatment. He is such a beautiful boy.....so handsome, funny, smart. He's just been so unwell for so long now. My husband keeps telling me I need to cut the umbilical cord with him but it's just not possible. How can I be well when my baby is slowly killing himself in front of me? But now there is so much real hope for us all. I'm so grateful for insurance and the intelligent people who have come up with these programs to provide real true help and hope.

You are doing a fantastic job!

Continuing to offer Love and prayers.


WC

Glad you were able to support him, Elsa. Hopefully this will help him turn around.

Cut the umbilical cord...BS...he's your son, you're his mom.

The umbilical cord can be cut as easily as we can turn off the "mom" switch we have..........just ain't happening, we're mommas for life and they are our babies no matter how old
Glad he's there and continues to get the help he needs. Hugs to you during this very stressful and trying time

I admit that when my husband tells me to cut the umbilical cord it's caused me a great deal of pain and frustration. He just doesn't get it. Men think differently than women so often. My husband literally said I needed to kick my son out of the nest just like birds do. He said he will either learn to fly or fall and die. My husband actually thought this analogy made sense and would be helpful for me. It wasn't. My husband means well though, we just don't see eye to eye on my son at all most of the time. So far my son has stayed inside.

Nope. When I think took care of my 1/2 brother-
100%.
You too. Bravo!!

Elsa, I am sorry you and your hubby don't see eye to eye on this.
Makes for an uncomfortable living arrangement.
(((((hugs))))
bizi

Thanks Bizi. Yes, it's been difficult on the whole family as situations like this usually are unfortunately. But we've been through so much and come out stronger after all is said and done so I have faith the same will happen in this situation.

ElsaMars - you're obviously a wonderful Mum and a lovely person. My boy means everything to me too - I feel the same way about him as you do with your son. Our kids are a part of us - we can't cut them loose. Don't ever change.

I'm thinking of you and hoping everything will work out for you both.

((((((((((Elsa)))))))))))))

Hugs, Elsa. I'm sorry I am late to this thread and so sorry about what you're going through. You are a very loving mother. Take care of yourself. I wish you and your son the very best, and please continue to keep us updated.

My son stayed in again last night.....no sneaking out. This morning he started begging to not have to go. Before he said he wanted to go to get away from us and get us off his back because he's fine and we are just bored and nosey......now he's making all kinds of promises in an effort to stay but that is not an option. We need to get him through until Friday when they will admit him. I'm so anxious.....Friday night will probably be the best night of sleep I will get in years. My son is so classically bipolar it's not even funny....he can't see it and I just hope that will change once he's in treatment. If love could cure mental illness my son would be cured, but we all know it doesn't work like that. Being loved can help recovery though and my son has lots of people who love him.

Thank you for all the kind messages and for saying I'm a good mom. It means a lot to me. I keep blaming myself which pisses my husband off so badly. I've not been perfect by a long shot but I've always loved, nurtured, cared for and provided for my son. I've made some stupid decisions on this journey to help my son but my stupid decisions always came from a place of love, with his best interests at heart. My son has had a very good life all things considered and he has a lot of support and people willing to help. I hope it's enough to save him from himself......I hope his eyes will be opened and he will begin to be able to make decisions which will serve him well, rather than continuing on a path of destruction.

I appreciate all the support.....fortunately I am stable and have been for a few weeks. I'm taking very good care of myself to ensure I stay strong for my son and family. (((Hugs and thanks)))

I am happy you are stable for your family. I wish your son luck in this new journey. He will either make it or he won't. Crossing fingers that he makes it.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi