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#1
Jul 09, 2017, 07:33 AM
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Are you afraid to go outside when depressed?
I used to be. It is the main reason my depressions got as bad as they used to be. It only got worse of course: clearly a vicious cycle. Meds helped me to force myself to go outside, a med increase (not the first few) helped me not to be afraid and now (after another dose increase) I have always been able to recover while staying inside (and I feel safe) when I try hard enough.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
 Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Fuzzybear, Sliders, Sunflower123, xRavenx
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#2
Jul 09, 2017, 02:16 PM
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| Sunflower123
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#3
Jul 09, 2017, 02:55 PM
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It's not the fear of going outside that gets me. More the case of bumping into people I know and being forced to hold a conversation.
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| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Sunflower123
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#4
Jul 09, 2017, 02:57 PM
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Quote:
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Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Sunflower123
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#5
Jul 09, 2017, 04:07 PM
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I'm afraid to go outside most of time, even if I'm not depressed. I feel like I'm going to be exposed as a fraud (though I'm not).
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| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Sunflower123
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#6
Jul 09, 2017, 04:38 PM
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During my last depression I didn't leave my apartment unless I had to. I took the garbage out, dropped off the rent at 2am dressed all in black so no one could see me.my car quit working so I couldn't get groceries in the middle of the night so I ordered pizza once a week. My fear of people was pretty bad, so yeah, I get it.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Sunflower123
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#7
Jul 09, 2017, 05:00 PM
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My fear of people is at it's worse when mixed. When severely depressed I'm so checked out of everything that "usually" I have no clue why I can't get out....I'm just much too sick and low energy for movement of any kind. I struggle to eat, drink, sleep, bath or even change my clothing. My paranoias about people stem from stress and delusions which occur when I'm in a mixed state of depression and mania. I was very unwell beginning in about late November and just started to break through the surface of insanity a few weeks ago. I've been relatively stable for a few weeks thank goodness as I have a lot on my plate right now and people who need me....I've been able to get out and communicate with people without too much difficulty. Let's face it...people can be jerks....they say the wrong things and can be very insensitive.....but it does not feel as personal right now, nor as sinister. People think they are helping so their intentions are good and I try to see them through that lens and perception right now. I'm currently well enough to pull it off......but yes, I've spent a great deal of my life being terrified of people.....I've been very isolated most of my life because of paranoia. I was attacked by massive groups of people....people who didn't even know me and had zero reason to do so but mob mentality is real and devastating......it caused me to have a break from reality and see most people as the enemy and believe they wished me and my family harm. Sometimes i was right and sometimes wrong. It confuses matters. It's smart to protect ourselves but not to the point of utter isolation. I'm working on getting better with all this......I didn't used to know I was delusional.....I thought I had psychic powers and could read people's intentions.....now that I know I have this mental illness clouding and distorting things, I have hope I can work with my problems and get better.
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| Anonymous45023, Sunflower123
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#8
Jul 09, 2017, 09:53 PM
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I get it. I've been isolated to my bedroom for over a year. I only get out to see my therapist and Dr. And I go to the grocery store with my husband once a week, only because he is with me. My son desperately wants me to meet his girlfriend's parents but that's not going to happen. I can't even go to the mailbox right in front of my house. I'm gaining weight because I can't get out and walk anymore. Just gradually got worse and worse. Pretty much always stay depressed and I know not getting out is not helping anything but I just don't know how to do it. So I understand. Not thrilled about a new med but maybe I have no choice.
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| Sunflower123
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#9
Jul 10, 2017, 07:22 AM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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