[JanusunaJ]

My life has been in a rapidly increasing decline since I was 25 years old; severe bouts of depression started that year. When I was 26 I was completely derailed by what I can only describe as a five alarm fire that was fueled by immeasurable and simultaneous anxiety, depression, and hypomania.

I'm now 32, about to be 33, years old. I've had multiple jobs going back to my early 20s. A lot of those consisted of administrative and basic accounting duties; usually autonomous. I have a BS in statistics; I almost completed an MS in statistics but had to drop out due to lost financing because of my declining health. That education would be great considering there are so many data-driven career options these days. However, due to issues with my memory, I pretty much remember nothing from my job experience or my statistics education, which really sucks because I put a *****-ton of work into my education.

I'm now living at my mom's with no job prospects and massive student-loan debt. Since I was 26 all of my family members have helped me out in some fashion. Now, I don't want to ask for their help again because it seems like I'm a bad investment.

I've been denied SSDI every time I've applied, even with the assistance of a lawyer.

I look at myself and where I am in my life and I am totally unrecognizable. It's as though I've fallen into an abyss and I have no way of climbing out.

I suppose that I should be happy that I'm not homeless.

I do wish I could forget who I used to be.

[Sunflower123]

I understand how you feel. I worked hard to get my MBA and CPA and had a good job when I became ill. I try to be grateful for things large and small in my life and try not to think of the overachiever I used to be. I wish you the best.

[Victoria'smom]

You can still get student loans charged off if your dr.s agree your disabled it's just harder. There's also income driven repayment. I've had BP my whole life I've luckily was able to get disability and have an appearance of a normal life. BP stole my education and job prospects. So I do understand that. Can you work with vocational rehab to help find a job or volunteering that you can do?

[Unrigged64072835]

I lost a lot when I had my meltdown. I'll never have the six-figure job I had because of my illness and time outside of my career field. I don't know if I'll hold down a job, even a minimum-wage one, due to physical and mental issues.

What Miguel'smom said would be useful.

[Wild Coyote]

I feel a great sense of loss when I think of who I used to be.


WC

[JanusunaJ]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Can you work with vocational rehab to help find a job or volunteering that you can do?

Thanks for mentioning vocational rehab. That's the newest and best advice I've gotten so far. I'm looking into it now.

[BipolaRNurse]

I can empathize. I lost my career, my home, and my lifestyle to bipolar disorder, and a part of me will never get over it. I miss the nurse and human being I used to be, but you can't unring the bell; my life has been forever altered. I don't feel sorry for myself anymore though, it is what it is and I can't change it back. I'm learning to live with this diminished existence, and I'm reasonably content with life because I am still doing something useful (my blog) and I have excellent support from family and friends. Things could be a lot worse.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by QuixoticDeLaEternal

Thanks for mentioning vocational rehab. That's the newest and best advice I've gotten so far. I'm looking into it now.

If you've had a professional six-figure job, I wouldn't put too much hope in "vocational rehab." I tried that once and they had no idea what to do with me. So I went back to being an engineer.

[JanusunaJ]

Originally Posted by bioChE

If you've had a professional six-figure job, I wouldn't put too much hope in "vocational rehab." I tried that once and they had no idea what to do with me. So I went back to being an engineer.

How did they fail to help you?

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by QuixoticDeLaEternal

How did they fail to help you?

They could barely understand my education, much less my professional experience. They were looking for people who wanted to be a cook, or an electrician, or a carpenter, or a housekeeper. If you think about it, someone who is making 30k is probably going to have a difficult time trying to place someone in a job that is on a very different plane from their own. That's not to denigrate their usefulness and utility in helping some people, I'm just saying my own experience was less-than-helpful.