[Victoria'smom]

I'm fn silent. Unless someone is asking me a direct question. It's not the meds. It's the on going reality checks. It's tiring T says it must be exhausting but the alternative is worse. I'm so over this. My heads quiet and that disturbs me. ANA is gone all that's left is me believing everything she said. I'm not a likable I'm just silent, I have nothing to say, nothing to add. It's like I'm off in real life and stuck in my head. I literally add nothing. I'm constantly asked what's wrong, when nothings wrong. I'm doing "so well" So why do I not want to exist?

(((((hugs)))))

do keep talking here- we are here to support you

I do understand what you mean by the reality checks.

I mean all I do day after day is sit here feeling bad for the things I don't have

their's so much I should probably do, and put my mind too (like finish off my story about the fictional family in florida), but I just can't be bothered.

all I can be bothered to do is sit here and wait for the end.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I'm here if you want to talk or vent. We care about you and we're here to support you.

[Victoria'smom]

I do understand what you mean by the reality checks.

Like: Is the phone really ringing?
Yes, it is.

Are the street cam following me?
no they're not

Is his (husband's) family talking about me?
probably not

All day long.

[Icare dixit]

Does 20 (or 25) mg of Zyprexa help? Have you ever tried it?

In my experience (with "clients" as well), antipsychotics always work, for all such problems, however small (in comparison to full psychosis), but you only know whether it's enough after you've tried another/a dose increase.

It's impossible to know what is psychotic and what is not, so it's unlike a mood stabiliser, say; you only know what's not real or an issue with hindsight.

[liveforsummer]

I hope are able to move past this downward spiral. Any appointments coming up with any docs ? Don't be silent, Keep posting, we'll all be listening.

[Victoria'smom]

I was on 15 mg. And I slept and ate all the time. My next appointment is somewhere next two weeks. I don't see pdoc until mid September.

[bizi]

I am sorry you are struggling.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi