Triggered, Hard to Let Go

*This might be somewhat triggering for you too, if you're an animal lover.

I hope this post doesn't start a debate....my point is basically to share how something really affected me that happened out of nowhere, and I am in need of support and perhaps a direction to go in, as far as getting back on track with coping.

Someone I've been intimate with revealed out of nowhere that he used to hunt small animals "for fun" when he was young. When he saw I was upset, he said he no longer does it and cares about animals. This is an issue I feel VERY strongly about. It really upset me though, especially when he mentioned doing this to poor, innocent birds, and I am a big bird lover and actually donate money to various charities. Luckily, I had a mother and father who taught me to be kind to animals since being young, and this is just so far against my values. I just can't see him the same way. He has anger problems, so this makes the equation worse.

This may sound over the top to some people, but I kept getting visions that seem real of small animals being hurt and killed. I even cried at work, although I wasn't around anyone. My heart beats fast when this happens. I went as far as ranting on webpages about my extreme anger towards people who hunt innocent animals, and my mood has been "all over the place."

I know I need to get a grip, and this isn't good for me. Most would just let it go, but the thoughts are intrusive. The shock of my friend doing something like this is also throwing me off, when you think you know someone's character. Maybe I'm crazy?
.... I don't know how to deal with the intrusive thoughts and ways of dealing with all these emotions, so they don't get the best of me??

Oh, no...what a horrible thing that person did. I don't think you're crazy for feeling the way you do about his disclosure; I think you're very sensitive, and love animals. Wow. If I were you I'd stay away from that person.

Thanks, Laurie. It's something I feel so strongly about, and when I get bad images and thoughts about things that hurt me the most, it's hard to get rid of that. I've been thinking maybe I should join something to meet others who feel the same about animals as me. Maybe that'll bring something positive in my life, so that I don't focus so much on the terrible things that are out of my control. I wish I had more time on my hands to be able to get involved with volunteering. My work schedule is crazy.

Did he feel guilty about it? Sometimes good people do really bad things in their life. We make bad choices. Sometimes we just don't know better until we are older and wiser.

What was his motive in telling you this?

I agree with Laurie. How can you still see him in the same light? The fact that you are very upset about this says something as well.

I am sorry, I can't read your post (huge animal lover) but I can imagine what it's about. I am so sorry for whatever you're going through. (((((Hugs)))))

I think it came up in a certain context when he mentioned being younger and cousins taught him how to use BB guns and other types....when he mentioned the part about birds, immediately, I put my hands over my ears and told him how upset I was. He did follow up by saying, "I love animals too. I was young". The thing is, he's made a lot of bad choices when he was younger, but I've been able to handle hearing about the other ones.

Exactly. Luckily, I don't see him on a regular basis, so I'm distancing myself. Even before this, some of his character flaws were coming out to a point that was difficult for me to take. It still shocked me though.

Thank you.