 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jul 22, 2017, 10:15 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Trigger warning
Trigger Warning ----------------- I can't stop remembering bad crises I've been through and I need to get it out. I decided to post here and get it out. Trigger warning is just so I won't harm any of you. Age 17- depression is bad and anxiety is worse. Got sent to acute child psych services against my will for crisis counseling. Almost got hospitalized but instead had to go there every night for counseling for four or five nights and they called me every night to check on me. 17- taken to er for self harming after some weird episode and put in intensive outpatient counseling at local hospital. Last two days and they discharged me saying I need one on one counseling. 18-police, ems come to my school after people found out if been self harming there. Interrogated by police and treated like crap. Almost detained against my Will and taken to hospital but my sister showed up and they released me to her. Had to get psych eval before I could return to school. First ip for five days. Fun 72 hr hold. Twenties: lots of bad decisions. Lots of hospitalizations. Lots of new scars and pain. 14 hospitalizations. 2013: May, I overdosed on klonopin. Taken to local psych er and held overnight. Interview in am and told I could go Home. I od again a week later on doexpin which I knew was dangerous and i had researched it. Heart rate was high. Told to drink the charcoal or they'd have to force a tube up my nose. Held by security all night sent by ambulance to psych floor next morning. Two years ago: in July I head my uncles gun to my head and considered pulling the trigger. Not sure what stopped me. Decided I'd wait. When t got it out of me what was bothering me he asked me to go ip and said he "didn't wanna make my decisions for me"....I would t been sent so I agreed to go. Two Decembers ago: I was SO suicidal and desperate to die but I did not have a gun. I went to crisis chat online and guess what! They sent the freaking state Police to me house. He questioned me and called ambulance and I was informed I HAD to go to the hospital. I lied through my teeth and got out of it. Little did they know I had been manic and hearing things. 2016: my first psychosis. Two trips ip for a total of 33 days. Diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic features. 2017: psychosis again but mild Now: feeling relatively stable. In all this I've heard and seen and felt things that weren't real. I've had times when I felt I wanted to run naked through the rain but did it in my clothes, snag worship song all night because I thought I had to so a God would know I love him, met a stranger from the Internet and initiated sexual activity at his house in another state (no clue where I was!!!) and been delusional thinking satan was attacking me and I needed an exorcism and had plans to go get one. Am I bipolar? I've been diagnosed so by 2-3 doctors now. How can my therapist say I might not be of she wasn't around for the crazy **** I used to do. I'm feeling lost and confused.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
 bizi, boogiesmash, liveforsummer, pirilin, rwwff, Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
|
 bizi
|
|
#2
Jul 22, 2017, 10:43 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's dangerous for T to tell you that. What does she think you have?
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| bizi, Wild Coyote
|
|
#3
Jul 22, 2017, 10:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am sorry that you went thru that...
((((HUGS)))))) bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#4
Jul 22, 2017, 10:55 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#5
Jul 22, 2017, 10:55 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
She said or maybe I'm in remission
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| bizi, Wild Coyote
|
| bizi
|
|
#6
Jul 23, 2017, 08:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I know it's easier said than done, but you were in such a good mood the other day after you interviewed for the job. I think you should look forward & stop looking in your rearview mirror. I, too, have made very stupid decisions in the past. While I still cringe when I think of them I don't let them immobilize me & affect my stability today. If you get this new job, you'll have to remain stable to continue working. Keep your eyes on the prize.
|
| pirilin, Wild Coyote
|
| pirilin, Wild Coyote
|
|
#7
Jul 23, 2017, 09:53 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
  WC |
| emgreen
|
|
#8
Jul 23, 2017, 12:21 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I just needed to write it all out. I'm still in a good mood. Really. I just struggle sometimes remembering bad stuff. I needed to get it out. I e been through a lot of crisis plus a childhood of abuse. Sometimes it just comes back to me for a bit.
I'm really hoping I got the job. I feel optimistic. I have experience with kids and he seemed to like me. I'll find out next week.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| liveforsummer, Wild Coyote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
