[BeyondtheRainbow]

I have been slowly getting past a mixed episode for the last 10 days or so. I can't believe I'm nearly a month into it already. But I am.

I have adjusted somewhat to my clozapine increase although I've gained 5 lbs and need to really watch what I am eating.

But the last 3 days sleep has been elusive. I've still had hypo signs, mostly a very noisy head, but sleep leaving is a very bad sign, especially on so much clozapine. So I just emailed her about what to do and while I asked about a couple of options I told her that I have a feeling more clozapine is needed.

This may be her vacation week which is why I'm trying on a Sunday. I didn't get an auto-reply so I'm thinking that's probably not true. I have no idea if she checks emails on Sunday; I know she has in the past but not always.

I hope I hear from her. I can't imagine waiting 2 weeks without sleep being good.

At the same time I REALLY don't want more clozapine. It makes me want to cry to think about it and this week I'm pet sitting so I have 2 dogs that need fed, walked and cared for, my 2 kittens to give love and attention and food, a chicken to feed and roost at the appropriate times, and oddly about 90 monarch butterfly caterpillars to care for. And some fish. I will have a hard time if I'm too groggy to do anything but sleep.

There are times I hate this disease. Tonight is one of them.

Could you take extra Klonopin and/or Valium to help relax you at least? Even though I doubt they'd stop the hypomania, ether or both could help with the noisy head IMO.

Sorry you're going through this. Summer is definitely a bad time since everyone goes on vacation.

Would PHP help if needed, as a preventative measure for full-blown mania?

[RainyDay107]

Will you hear back today? Good luck, I hope it goes well. xo

[Wild Coyote]

I hope you hear back soon.


WC

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Could you take extra Klonopin and/or Valium to help relax you at least?

Sorry you're going through this. Summer is definitely a bad time since everyone goes on vacation.

Would PHP help if needed, as a preventative measure for full-blown mania?

I'm taking extra klonopin and gabapentin. I have valium but don't use it without approval because I can't really have 2 benzos prescribed at the same time all the time. I won't take it without permission b/c I don't want to somehow fail a drug test. I thought about asking for permission yesterday but really the net effect would be grogginess.

PHP/IOP doesn't work for me. I live far away from anything and I'd have to pay 20% which I don't have. Good idea though.

Originally Posted by glamslam

Will you hear back today? Good luck, I hope it goes well. xo

Thanks. I might. Sometimes she answers on weekends and sometimes not. If she's on vacation not a chance. If she doesn't then I'll have to try calling tomorrow. She can be hard to reach b/c she has an administrative job along with seeing a fairly small number of patients and gets overloaded with emails. Hopefully today is a day she checks in.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I was right (and I've really known all day from how I felt): I have to increase my clozapine more. She says that it will come down when the summer is over and I know that's not really that long but I hate the idea of being so sedated. But I also know I'm pretty high right now and if it turned mixed again it would probably get ugly. I keep reminding myself that if I do this now I do it outpatient; if I don't do it I wind up IP and they'll do the same thing but probably to a higher dose.

I'm still frustrated. I just want to be back to how i was before we messed with my dose at all. I also want to not be petsitting this week but I am, so I'm not sleeping at my house. I'm at my mom's which is next door and I spend plenty of time at home but I want to just stay in bed and adjust and I can't do that. I'm really afraid something will get the chicken tonight. There have been attempts by some creature twice in the last week and I'm scared of having to deal wtih a dead chicken.

I need to go do something else to help me feel like I've done everything to protect the chicken.

[Sunflower123]

I'm glad you heard back from your pdoc. I'm sorry you're having to up your dosage and feel more sedated. Mixed episodes are the absolute worst though. I hope you get some sleep and feel better soon.

[raspberrytorte]

I hope you feel better soon too, rainbow.