[snappingturtle]

I'm 22 and have been diagnosed with bipolar (1) for several years. I honestly never truly really looked into it. I took my meds, saw therapists occasionally, on & off, and just tried to act like I was fine. I'm finally admitting this is real, if being hospitalized last year wasn't enough, I'm at the point where I'm realizing how I'm not going to truly be able to have any friendships, relationships, future family, etc, unless I really fix this. My mom let hers manifest for decades and now, at 52, she still has yet to fully admit her problems. I see her neglecting so many aspects of her life, so zoned-out and disorganized and not even paying attention to her own elementary-school aged children. I never wanted to be like her, so I never admitted I had what she had. Now I realize that to really get better, I have to. My significant other wants to be with me and has been through so many ups and downs, but is worried I'm never truly going to be stable, and am just going to end up like my mother. I'm scared of being abandoned, even though it hasn't actually happened, and I'm scared of not being able to live my dreams. I'm tired of pretending I'm okay, and acting like good enough is good enough. I see so many people who have been diagnosed for a long time, still struggling. Still not where they want to be. That scares me so much. I know I'll have to take medication/see therapists regularly/etc. for the rest of my life. That's okay. I just want to be able to truly stay stable and not have my life ruined by so many symptoms. Please someone give me hope that this can happen.

Hello snappingturtle, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

[Nammu]

you sound very wise for 22!

[Teddy Bear]

Welcome to PC

[wildflowerchild25]

Welcome to PC. You sound very self aware and that's the first step. It is possible to have a fulfilling life with bipolar. You have to be proactive though. Being honest with your treatment team, being willing to fully participate in treatment, etc. it sounds as though you're willing to do all that. So yes, it will be hard, but not impossible at all.

[Wild Coyote]

Welcome to PC!
I hope you find the support and info. you are seeking.
Please make yourself at home here.

It's possible to have a stable life. Doing so usually means working at it, utilizing pdocs and therapists, learning coping skills, etc.

It appears you have a lot of insight, which is very helpful.
You also sound willing to work with a team (to do whatever you must) in order to have a stable life.


WC

[Victoria'smom]

I can't say I can do everything. I can't have a job and family it was to stressful for both. So I chose my family. I'm not the best mom but I'm good enough. My son likely has BP also as does my husband. I don't know what I'll do when he goes off to college. Hopefully he doesn't have ill feelings towards us.

[Sunflower123]

Hello. Welcome to PC. You are very self aware for somebody of your age and recognize what you do and don't want. You're also doing all the right things to treat your illness and are finally acknowledging it to yourself. I'd say that's easily half the battle. I think you'll do well. Best wishes.

[Naynay99]

Hey. I think your attitude of wanting to deal with things head on now is a positive and proactive. I have seen lots of people live fully productive and happy lives while also dealing with a mood disorder. Nobody knows if they will be able to live out of all of their dreams, regardless of whether or not they have a mental lness. Life and circumstances can get it the way and we come up with new paths and dreams that often end up even better. Don't get too stuck on thinking about all of the bad things that COULD happen; when something comes up deal with it but don't fret about problems that don't yet exist. It s hard but try to live in the present and enjoy the good things that DO happen along the way.

I'm not gonna lie and say that if you do x y and z you will be stable for the rest of your life. I think part of living well with this disorder is acknowledging that it is always there and that things may be really hard some times but that you can get through it to get to the good stuff. The problem with having a cyclical illness with recurrent episodes for me is that every time I do experience bad symptoms it feels like all the work I did was for naught, I am back in the same place. I have to remind myself that mood blips may still sometimes happen even when being very vigilant with psychiatric and self care, but that look at all I have done and accomplished in spite of (and sometimes because of) them.

Sorry if i am rambling a bit. I wanted to give you some hope that it can get better, you can still do and experience tons of amazing shiit in life. But it can also get worse sometimes and that's okay- because from what I have seen on here ppl who are dealing with this tend to be total badassses who kick butt and keep getting back up when knocked down. And so can you. Hang in there.