[boogiesmash]

As I'm in bed I have thoughts of going out and enjoying myself but most of me says stay in cause no one wants to see you outside. Not for gym, not at bar nothing. I feel my weight is still haunting my self esteem. I'm scared I'm gonna get jealous and looking at beautiful women knowing they don't want me, how silly I'll look at Kung fu, everyone at gym saying this fatty should be on an elliptical not lifting etc. I know I shouldn't believe what others think, but it has/is affecting me. I think I need a t appointment stat.

[boogiesmash]

I'm also scared of going on dates because of how I look. I had bunch of dates that ended up with not answering afterwards and I blame my body.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having difficulty. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said "what others think about you is none of your business". I think there is a lot of people (including me) who wish they could take these words to heart. If you enjoy Kung Fu, you should continue doing it. You could also set some small goals to improve whatever is bothering you about your appearance. I think a tdoc is a good idea. Good luck and best wishes.

[hopeless2015]

Hey boogie, I agree talk to your therapist. They can help with ways to fight these thoughts. You've really been struggling lately, I'm sending a big hugs!

[kamid469]

I have similar phobias. My BBD is timing my life. I gained weight due to my old medication and now I have to struggle to get the urge or motivation to exercise. I won't go to a gym because I'll have anxiety and feel as if everyone's whispering about me. It really sucks. And boy do I have trust issues that don't seem to go away.

[wildflowerchild25]

i commiserate. The guy i was sort of seeing ended it friday and while i'm not especially upset that it's over, I do miss being in a "relationship", however casual it was. But I'm afraid to try online dating because I'm so overweight from the meds. I just assume no one would be interested in me. That, plus I'm unemployed, and I live with my mother. That just spells loser.

I think talking to your therapist will help. it sounds as though you have a lot of self-esteem issues and also social anxiety issues. I struggle with the social anxiety myself, so I understand where you're coming from.

Maybe you could challenge yourself to just go out and do it? The only way I ever get anything done with my anxiety is to face it head on. It's very hard but it's the only way I can manage it. Otherwise I would stay in my bed all the time save for work.

I know you can do it boogie.

[Unrigged64072835]

A talk with your T would help. Hope that works for you.

[boogiesmash]

Well slept from 5pm to 5 this morning. And I didn't want to get up.

[boogiesmash]

So got an appointment tomorrow. I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I bring self confidence issues or bed issues. I think bed issues is most important but I think social anxiety or scared how I look is the central cause.

[hopeless2015]

I think you should tell her what you just wrote here and go from there. I'm glad you got an appointment!! Hugs!

[raspberrytorte]

I honestly think that no one at the gym cares how you look. I think you should go. I had a man hit on me at the gym one time and I think I look awful! You might meet someone there. Hugs, boogie. Talk to your therapist about everything you said here.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I honestly think that no one at the gym cares how you look.

And if they do care, it's their problem, not yours.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

And if they do care, it's their problem, not yours.

Good point. Exactly.

[JanusunaJ]

I can commiserate. I haven't left my mom's house in months. Prior to graduating from high school, I was an overweight kid. Then, I went to college and got into jogging and burned it all off. I stayed healthy and "fit" for some years then the depression came; I gained some weight back. I didn't become overweight, but some family members annoyingly pointed out that I'd gained weight. Then a couple of years later, I started Depakote. That drug really screwed me. I gained like 30-40 lbs within a couple of months. Again, people annoyingly pointed it out, but this time their comments were more hurtful. Presently, because of my current psychological state, I don't take care of myself the way I did in the past. I've always had self-esteem issues because of my body, but now, knowing that I'd persevered and lost so much weight to only have ballooned back up, is very depressing. A couple of months ago I overheard my mom talking. She said: "...he used to be so slender and looked so handsome." Looked? Thanks, mom.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by QuixoticDeLaEternal

I can commiserate. I haven't left my mom's house in months. Prior to graduating from high school, I was an overweight kid. Then, I went to college and got into jogging and burned it all off. I stayed healthy and "fit" for some years then the depression came; I gained some weight back. I didn't become overweight, but some family members annoyingly pointed out that I'd gained weight. Then a couple of years later, I started Depakote. That drug really screwed me. I gained like 30-40 lbs within a couple of months. Again, people annoyingly pointed it out, but this time their comments were more hurtful. Presently, because of my current psychological state, I don't take care of myself the way I did in the past. I've always had self-esteem issues because of my body, but now, knowing that I'd persevered and lost so much weight to only have ballooned back up, is very depressing. A couple of months ago I overheard my mom talking. She said: "...he used to be so slender and looked so handsome." Looked? Thanks, mom.

That's exactly how my family is with me. And they always point out how much weight I've gained and that I used to look so good.

[boogiesmash]

Ugh. I got home last night from work a little over ten pm. Made something to eat took my meds and fell asleep. We will say around 11. It is 10:08pm and I've been in bed almost a whole 24 hours. Why can't I get up.

[bpforever1]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

As I'm in bed I have thoughts of going out and enjoying myself but most of me says stay in cause no one wants to see you outside. Not for gym, not at bar nothing. I feel my weight is still haunting my self esteem. I'm scared I'm gonna get jealous and looking at beautiful women knowing they don't want me, how silly I'll look at Kung fu, everyone at gym saying this fatty should be on an elliptical not lifting etc. I know I shouldn't believe what others think, but it has/is affecting me. I think I need a t appointment stat.

Hello,

I used to be fat too from my meds and overeating. I took it upon myself to lose weight and walked about 3-5 miles daily and changed my diet from fast food to salads. I lost about 50 pounds in about 6 months. I also take only one med now- Abilify. I think that taking many meds can wreak havoc on one's weight and health. Please talk to your Pdoc about whether or not you can tweak your meds and/or talk to a dietician about going on a diet. My weight fluctuates still but I am no longer obese- over 200 pounds before. So, please be proactive about your health. Also, if I were you, I would not compare yourself to others. You are unique and special to your family and friends. This matters more than comparing yourself to others who have no interest in your well-being. Please take care!