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Hello,
My mother has undiagnosed bipolar and is manic at times- she becomes verbally abusive and irritable, then she is depressed- does not want to do things. She says she does not need meds and is doing fine but the pain she gave my brother and me is intolerable at times. I love her dearly. But, she thinks I am more disabled than she is, yet she wants me to rely on myself, not others. I don't know what to make of her sometimes. When she is manic, all hell breaks lose- epithets, racist jargon, etc. Nobody is immune to her outbursts. She is mean to all during these manic periods. I have seen her go up then down and it always is the same old tune with her. She does not work and is a housewife but her illness is out of control. She caused much stress in my life and my family's life. There is nothing I can do but watch and cringe at her behavior. I am happy to live away from her now but talk to her quite often by phone. Today she was manic again and verbally abusive. She cut me down and told me she is suffering and asked me the reason for being so lazy, etc. Whatever?!!! It has been a tragedy knowing she could have received help but she absolutely refuses to admit she is ill. She has been protected by our family. My father allows her to act the way she wants and does not do anything but complain to me when she is not near us. I don't know what to say because he does not want her to be diagnosed either and remains unable to help her during her mood swings. It is a tragedy of extreme proportions. I am also ill with bipolar disorder and my brother suffers from ocd. We are all psychologically damaged from my mother's behavior. My father works all of the time and does not get involved with family matters. When he did, he beat us up physically, mentally, and emotionally. He is old now and can no longer do so but he was a father who was there only physically but not really a true father to us. Anyways, I forgave my parents for their idiosyncrasies and faults. I chose to pave my own path. I am trying to take responsibility for my own behavior and not be like my mother. As a result, now I am compliant with my meds. Before I thought I could do without meds but after being hospitalized for months at a time for four years, I decided, after much therapy, to take charge of my own well-being. I am doing much better but sometimes when my mother spouts off like a she-devil, I do get hurt still. Thank you for reading my story!
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Aug 02, 2017, 08:35 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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