[DorothyButton]

Hello, I went to my GP on Monday and mentioned to him about suspicions on Bipolar II

I explained to him that my psychiatrist took me off of Olanzapine (20mg daily) 14 weeks ago which I'd been on for 4 years (I think I was put on it for OCD) but because of being diabetic he took me off of it (no tapering off - nothing)!

I'd mentioned to numerous dr's since 2009 about Bipolar but obviously because of being on Olanzapine it was hiding symptoms

I have since been having truly awful manic symptoms lately and I've been in this state for the last 3 weeks (I do get a reprieve every 6 or so days where I'm highly excitable and speaking fast, laughing, strange outbursts)

GP on Monday said it could possibly Cyclothymia? Thing is I'm that bad but NHS are really dragging their heels I haven't got an appointment until 10th October to see psychiatrist (can no longer afford private psychiatrist) I'm struggling to get through 24 hours at the moment and the thought of having to go this for yet another 6 weeks is torture (not only for me but husband & parents) I'm suicidal most days. We went over to parents last weekend and I was in a state but because they don't believe how I'm feeling I just got up and walked out! They were looking for me but I'd had enough.

I explained to my mum and the suicidal thoughts and she said 'you can't be that desperate then' another phone call last week she answered the phone and said 'what do you want'!!

Sorry this post doesn't really make sense does it!

[Miss Laura]

Hey there it takes about 3 months to see a Psychiatrist on the NHS. That's the average in Scotland anyways. Sorry your having a hard time. Can you GP not help with speeding things up or giving you meds? I know meds might not help the Anti-Depressants sent me manic now I have to rid the depression out on my own

[DorothyButton]

Hi Miss Laura, thanks for replying. I'm a complete mess!! GP on Monday was absolutely useless. I sat there sobbing my eyes out and all I got was that he'd write a letter personally to the referral centre in my local town.
That's really really interesting about the anti depressants! I'm on Venlafaxine 225mg daily and I have read somewhere before that AD's might make it worse.

Although I suspected Bipolar back in 2009 nobody took notice of me. That long ago though it may have been very very mild. But after being on the Olanzapine for 4 years I'm wondering if somehow it was hiding symptoms possibly! Now that the stupid idiot who was getting over £300 per hour has taken me off it's now showing itself this way!

Cyclothymia does make more sense though because of not having the very high mania's - I really don't know!

[Miss Laura]

Hey there,

Have you tried contacting the Samaritians? They are pretty good and get back to you if you send them an email within 6 hours I think it is. What about mood juice website? Least your GP is personally writing a letter to your referral centre.

I was really lucky with the quickness of my diagnosis but I have heard I am very lucky. Please don't give up keep your chin up and you will get somewhere hopefully sooner than you think.

[DorothyButton]

Thanks, yeh I've spoken to the Samaritans before but I don't know I didn't get anything from it really.

I am trying but it's so difficult! I've been off work 4 months, this situation I'm in now doesn't look like anything will happen soon. I'm due back to work in October because that's when my SSP runs out and I'm just all over the place really! Arguments with my mum don't help, she doesn't understand and I can't explain how I'm feeling so I'm in a vicious cycle!

[Miss Laura]

I understand where you are coming from re your Mum. Mines just doesn't get it and I have been diagnosed for 7 years. Do you think at the moment you can go back to work. I personally don't work unfortunately but I am itching to work no-one is willing to hire a person with Bipolar. Have you got any hobbies that you can do to keep your mind off of things?

[DorothyButton]

Nope no hobbies at all, mood diaries have been mentioned but it's weird I can type on here with my phone but when it comes to actually writing (pen and paper) it's like my brain goes 'NO'!

I haven't really got any friends either (how embarrassing)!! I've heard from nobody at work nothing! I have been going out with my husband at work as he's a mobile technician but even that's getting difficult now because of being cramped up in the van and I've also developed noise sensitivity which is really painful if a big lorry or motorbike goes past!

Thank you so much Laura! x

[Miss Laura]

I have mood diaries on my phone I have Daylio, eMoods and Moodtrack they are helpful. I also keep a paper copy via the Depakote website which I have done for the last 6 years.

Keep chatting on here if you need anything just PM me okay. Its always nice to know you have friends online. Have a great weekend okay

[DorothyButton]

That's great, thanks I'll have a look at the apps now. Aww thanks I really appreciate it. Hope you have a good weekend too x