[wildflowerchild25]

I don't have any idea what's going on right now. My thoughts are depressed and anxious but I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't get my mind to stop. Could it be just severe anxiety? Or could it be the beginnings of a mixed episode? It's mild right now, as much as mixed episodes can be mild. Earlier today I felt like crawling out of my skin but I calmed down when I got home. I watched some episodes of parks and recreation which helped. I took my son out to dinner where I managed to eat about half my dinner, after only having two protein shakes for the whole day.

I left a rather desperate message for my pnurse on my lunch break before realizing she was probably on vacation this week. I just wanted some klonopin to help me sleep and calm down but she won't get my messages until Monday. She gave me her cell phone number for emergencies but I don't feel comfortable using it. I don't think this constitutes an emergency, not since I'm seeing her on Thursday.

In doing research on vraylar it turns out it's one of those that has to build up in the system so it might not take full effect for weeks. That's upsetting. I have four weeks until my new job starts. I need to be stable by then. And right now this is mild but what if it gets worse? I'm not suicidal yet, I'm not thinking of self harm yet, but I'm miserable.

I'm torn as to whether to keep taking the latuda. I haven't taken it yet today because of the not eating thing. I could take it now. I don't know if it will help or make things worse. But I don't have any meds to fall back on, not even klonopin. Would unmedicated be worse? I haven't been unmedicated since 2013 when I went off meds for eight months. And ended up in a horrible psychotic episode.

I don't know. I wish my nurse would have called me back.

I dont want to be awake anymore. I have to get it together enough to post a discussion question for my class. I'm hoping if I take a double dose of melatonin I'll be able to sleep. I've got nothing else. Not even Benadryl.

I'm sorry for complaining. I just feel terrible and I'm confused and scared.

[harmonyinheart]

I've been there- too often to count: is it mixed episode or anxiety and depression? My psychiatrist has also wondered the same thing. If you are only on latuda maybe you need something else. SerQuel helped me, maybe a neuroleptic would help. I am not a doctor though. It sounds like even if this is a start of something mixes you are getting prettty anxious about not knowing. I've been with that too. And it could be both. I don't really have better answers for you- I would try again to get in touch with your prescribing doctor/nurse. Better to be in the safe side. What's the worst? She thinks it isn't anything to warrent a change? Well that may be discouraging in the short run but then hopefully when you see her next you can have a more thorough discussion. I wish you the best and hope things get easier for you.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry your having such a hard time.

I honestly think this is anxiety. Your mixed episodes tend to present differently.

NyQuil dose might help you sleep.

Hope you feel better soon !

[wildflowerchild25]

You are right Christina, this is not the same as previous mixed episodes in that it's not nearly as severe. So it could just be depression served up with a heaping helping of anxiety. And the depression could be situational related to the anxiety.

I'm going to be ok. I'm just panicking over nothing. I'm making it more than it is. It's just anxiety and I will be fine once I get on the right meds. All is not lost.

[harmonyinheart]

You'll be okay. We are here for you and it is NOT complaining. Don't think that. This is what the forums are here for. Take care. Hugs and hope from me to you

[*Laurie*]

Hi wildflowerchild25, Based upon your posts of the past several days I think you need to speak with a pdoc ASAP, even if that means going into the ER. Whatever is going on, you're on a very painful rollercoaster ride.

[wildflowerchild25]

Thanks. I think I can hang on until Thursday when I see her. It's really not as bad as I'm making it seem. No suicidal thinking or psychosis. I'm not happy but I'm not in danger.

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Thanks. I think I can hang on until Thursday when I see her. It's really not as bad as I'm making it seem. No suicidal thinking or psychosis. I'm not happy but I'm not in danger.

Then I wouldn't overthink it. I would just write it off as a case of anxiety. Too bad you don't have any prn's to help with it. Hopefully doctor will give you some when you see her.

[raspberrytorte]

To me it sounds like severe anxiety, and maybe akathisia mixed in? I feel bad you're feeling so awful right now. It's definitely latuda related, like it's obvious you're not tolerating it very well.

[scatterbrained04]

I kind of gauge it personally by what my thought patterns are like when my mind is racing. Like am I worrying about things? Or am I thinking 100 miles a minute about how to hurt myself or all the things I want to do?

What are your thought patterns like when your mind is racing?

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I hope things calm down enough for you to make it to Thursday when you see your pnurse. Sending big hugs.

[wildflowerchild25]

I got eight hours of sleep last night so my mood has vastly improved. I stayed in bed an extra hour today because of anxiety but as I've been up my mood is getting better. I feel great, except bored. But I have a birthday party for my son's friend to go to later and then dinner with my brother and his wife and hanging out with my sister in law later. So I've got a full day. Hopefully my mood continues to stay positive. I still don't feel like eating but I feel more like I don't really need food right now, like it's just an extra thing that I don't need to have. I had a protein shake, probably all I'll have until dinner. Unless I eat at the party.

I just want to dance! And clean. I can do both!

I definitely feel a little sped up but it's still mild. I just have to act normal lol. I'm practiced with that.

[99fairies]

So glad you are feeling so much better today!!

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel like going for a run and I hate running lol. I'm very sped up. I've been cleaning since 11 but I went to a birthday party in between. I just finally vacuumed up all the cat hair from the couches. I'm just waiting to go to dinner to celebrate my dad's life. He died twenty years ago today. It's unbelievable that it's been that long.

I feel like I can't breathe though. I just want to dance and sing but my son keeps telling me to stop lol.

I want to talk talk talk but there's no one but my son to listen to me! Thankfully i'll be with my brother and his wife in a little while. Then my sister and brother in law are coming up. So that's good.

I'm having a great day today, hope it continues!

[~Christina]

Sounds like " hypo" has arrived in all its glory.

Keep track of this thread so you can give your Pdoc the info needed.

Stay safe ((( hugs )))

[wildflowerchild25]

Yes but it will probably be gone tomorrow. Every so often I get one or two hypo days and then settle down. Although I'm not on medication currently so who knows. But only five more days till I see my nurse. It shouldn't get too out of control.

Just enjoying the good feeling today instead of the horrible dread and anxiety of the past couple of weeks. I don't know. I've been stable for so long I kind of forgot what it felt like to wake up a different person each day. I enjoyed knowing who I was going to be in the morning. I hope I can get back there.

Earlier today it was a great day and now you are hoping to soon feel different.....I'd be watchful of a mixed episode. I get horrible anxiety when mixed. (((Hugs)))

[harmonyinheart]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Earlier today it was a great day and now you are hoping to soon feel different.....I'd be watchful of a mixed episode. I get horrible anxiety when mixed. (((Hugs)))

I as well experience this. I think it is worth considering with your doctor that the latuda may not be the right med. I was in it and it caused more mixed episode symptoms on top of what I already was experiencing at the time. Just be careful - but I'm not a doc

[wildflowerchild25]

Complete 180 today. Soooo exhausted and depressed. I want to go to bed now but it's only 7pm. I was feeling agitated before so I took my son to a museum for a couple of hours. We had fun. I'm glad I got out and did something. I would have gone crazy if I was in the house all day.

Sigh. Wonder who I'll be tomorrow? I have work but only until 2:10 so I can do it. I get the agitation will be back tomorrow. I can feel it brewing now. I think it was held down because I was super hungover today. Way too much to drink yesterday.

Ugh. Just gotta make it another two hours. Then I can go to sleep.

[wildflowerchild25]

Self harm thoughts are starting to creep in. I'm fighting them.

Be strong! You don't want to do anything that makes things worse. Stay safe! Call the crisis line if you feel overwhelmed -- that always helps me.

[wildflowerchild25]

Can't ****ing sleep...AGAIN...I mean, what the ****. I was so depressed I could barely make it from the couch to bed and I just want to go to sleep to forget all this but NO.

Having more self harm thoughts but no images yet. Very passive, I'd be better off dead type stuff. I would never take action though. I do wish I could harm myself but I've been "clean" since February 3 2016. I'm not ruining everything I've worked for.

Maybe my nurse will call me back tomorrow. Not like it makes a difference, she's not going to do anything over the phone. But I just have to make it till Thursday.

**** man. Seriously over this ********.

[bellamonte1984]

Hi! You recently replied to me on the same topic: Latuda and anxiety.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I, too, went on latuda a few months ago and it's making me feel so much better, BUT! I'm restless and anxious and have been in a state of constant anxiety with physical chest palpitations, etc. for a week.

If this sounds similar, it might be side effects of your medication. Latuda has a side effects profile that includes anxiety, restlessness, agitation, akathisia.

Feel better!