brave face backfire

I doubt I am alone in this..

"You can't be that depressed; I saw you talking and laughing with ____."

This from the one person I hoped would offer some comfort and understanding about what I am trying to keep from everyone else. I guess I don't know anyone like that; can you say spiral?

I'm sorry this happened to you. Some people just really don't get it. Sending big hugs.

Sorry. It's really tough when others try to rate our depression or dismiss it based on external observation.

Part 2 didn't get any better. She asked me to talk to pdoc about something to stabilize me because the timing is bad. After a couple of decades, you would think she would understand it isn't like ordering a pizza. I have not been stabilized once in all that time; I am either up or down. If you don't like me that way, then you don't like me.

Is your true self the one that goes up and down, or the one that is stable? Has this friend ever experienced the stable persona? Perhaps he or she is holding on to that.

Perhaps you can use this as a teachable moment and explain to your friend you are wearing your brave face and what that means. Explain to your friend you felt invalidated. Who knows, perhaps this will expand your friendship even farther and provide you will a person who you don't have to wear your brave face with to be accepted. I know this is easier said than done but it's good for thought maybe. Good luck and I'm sorry you are struggling so much to find stability (((Hugs)))

At this point it has to be the one that goes up and down; it has been about 25 years since I was last stable. This friend is my wife and yes, she has seen me stable but it has been a long time.