Am I getting paranoid?

Sorry for the long post.

I think I am getting paranoid. For several years I took care of my mother 24/7 basically by myself with no respite during the last year. My mother became paranoid, delusional, hallucinated, and fits of rage where she actually threatened me with a knife. I think something broke in my mind. I now respond to things terrified of the worst or something will get out of control.

I lost 2 to 3 pounds a day, dropping from 235 to 195. I was stressing out over a court date with a judge that will decide what happens to me. I am terrified that I will lose more, that it is out of control. I am terrified that I will spend six months in jail, losing my condo and not seeing my daughter graduate from high school. My freind who is a lawyer tells me this will not happen. I still am terrified that the worst will happen.

I am on disability. I am lucky to have $65 in the bank account by the end of the month. This includes taking an amount of money each month fron a couple thousand dollars that I have. I need to get a job quickly. I am unable to work right now due to several problems, both physical and mental, but I hope this will change soon. I am terrified that something will go wrong and either my health will get worse or I will somehow quickly lose the couple thousand that I have and lose the condo. I can always borrow a few thousand dollars, but this does not change my paranoia.

This even effects me in what should be small issues. I use Uber to get around. Even though I am careful, I am really afraid of losing my money to my use of Uber where I will not have any money to eat. I was with my daughter at a gymnasium at night. I was very afraid no one will pick us up and we would have to walk a couple miles. We had no problems here, but I even worried if the driver will not find us. I am eating much more food now, but I then am afraid that if this works, my weight will get out of control on the up side. My daughter was with her mother. Sunday it was getting late. Even though her mother will make sure that my daughter will get back with me, I was getting paranoid that each hour will lead into the next. Maybe she will not come at all?

This is all irrational, but I am always thinking that something is going to go wrong just like I felt when caring for my mother. I am afraid things in my life will go out of control. I can deal with all of this, right? But there is a difference between concern and paranoia.

What do you guys think?

Another one. My doughter has problems with responsibility and consequences. She turns 18 in six months. I am really afraid she will end up in jail. Also once she leaves me, I may not see her for many years. She tells me that this will not happen, but I am still really afraid.

Sounds like a bit of paranoia with LOTS of anxiety. Tons and tons of anxiety. (((Hugs)))
Anxiety makes me jump to the worst case scenario constantly.....always in fear with a feeling of doom hovering over me like a spy drone. It's terrible and I'm sorry you're experiencing this. (((Hugs)))

I know its not easy but try to stay in the moment as much as possible. Don't project the future. Only control what you can.

It's sounds like an overload of anxiety to me. I encourage you to get this checked out. Sending big hugs.

I am sorry you are worrying. This sounds like obsessing to me, a form of OCD.
Do you have a therapist to help you figure this out?
They make meds to help with your anxieties.
I am not a doctor but the excessive worrying could be some hypo or even mania.
Either way it sounds awful.
How are you sleeping?
I say make an appointment with your pdoc for further investigation of this symptom.
sorry you are experiencing this.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

p.s. did your mother pass away?

It sucks you are struggling, but as mentioned above, this sounds like anxiety. Do you have a doc? Have your meds changed recently? Maybe you need to change them?

Do you have a T that you see ?

Catastrophic thinking has walked me right into a hell of a corner in the past.. I have to force myself to stay in the relative moment.

Be kind to yourself... I know its hard