[bialigelman]

I'm sick... or I started think myself that way. Because everything's going wrong in my life since the beginning.
I was bullied since preschool, and from then things started to get a lot uglier. So ugly that while my father was in a coma with cancer, I had no one to talk to at school. My "friends" gave me the ice. He died and I was still frozen with no one to support me.
Later in life I met a "friend" that turned her back on me and didn't even tell me why until now.
I was mocked basicly all my childhood. And I don't trust people, because all they did so far was hurt me.
I got 30kg+ from medicines. I went from skinny, to overweight overnight.
I also have skin picking disorder and misophonia besides bipolar diagnosis...
I endure incredible pain all over my joints, and there is no prescription-free pain killer strong enough to handle.
Seems like everybody surrounding me thinks I'm lazy, and oversizing stuff. I'm sick of it. All people can do is thinking about their egos and their lives. I'm so sick of selfish people. I do the most I can and I always did to do better for others... Why people have to be so mean?

Medication won't help anyone if people don't change the way they act towards each other. We suffer because our society is rotten.

The only things that keep me living are my dog and my cat. If it wasn't for them, I would be gone by now.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Just wanted you to know I hear you, you're not alone and to lend my support. Yes, many people are horrible but there are diamonds in the rough. They are just hard to find. Thinking of you.

[CrazyRG]

I am truly sorry for you. There are a lot of things you're dealing with that I go through myself: I have been bullied since I was a child, too,my only friends left me without telling the reason, I barely have any friends left now, I have skin picking disorder too and just hate my face (and body) because it looks horrible. I don't excercise or go out because I have no one to go out with or I have no motivation or life energy for that. I have a lot of trouble with my family lately. I wouldn't even say we're a family anymore. It is like everyone hates each other. I can't talk to my parents about my problems because they wouldn't take it serious. And the worst thing for me is that even if other people don't think I am lazy (because they don't know enough) I know that I actually am lazy and do nothing in my life anymore. I am just overwhelmed with the smallest task and seem to be incapable of anything. I feel completely worthless even if others don't see me like this yet.
I understand how you must feel, and how frustrating it must be for you. I didn't loose a parent yet, and there are no words to express how horrible this must be, especially when you have no oneto talk to. But I want to tell you: in view of all those things you are going through and the fact that you still always try to do better for others and to give the most you can, I think you are a truly strong person. I admire you for this and I think it is deeply unfair that you have to deal with all of this. You definitely do not deserve this and I hope you can get out of this and get the life, support and love you truly deserve.

[Wild Coyote]

I am glad you have your dog and cat. What wonderful company!

I am sorry you feel alone when it comes to people. I understand you've felt "let down" in the past.

As Jennifer has pointed out, there are some amazing people in this world. I hope you connect with some of them.

Do you work with a therapist?

I hope to see you around the forum!


WC

[bialigelman]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am glad you have your dog and cat. What wonderful company!

I am sorry you feel alone when it comes to people. I understand you've felt "let down" in the past.

As Jennifer has pointed out, there are some amazing people in this world. I hope you connect with some of them.

Do you work with a therapist?

I hope to see you around the forum!


WC

No, no therapists for me. All of them were or jerks or didn't know **** of psichology. I'm done with them.
I have a husband also... But he doesn't takes me seriously when I'm falling apart "it's drama, you have to forget it and move on"... Would you forget that you are in pain and move on? I mean not just mentally, but also physicly... I was attending college last semester, and I had to take a break now to do an exam do get a scholarship, because without that I can't move forward $$$. Yet I used to take care of the house, and sometimes I was so tired I got home from college and simply just would went to sleep. No lunch no food. Nothing. Now I'm only taking care of the house, but I'm losing some of my movements (specially shoulders and knee) and it's kind hard to take care of things around here. My mom works as hell, and she does what she can to help me out, and my husband sometimes get home around 10 p.m. He is in college + internship. I'm going crazy, I can't even study for the test... I'm 25, and have been in this rodeo since I got out of school. I was very influenced by my mother to be a medical doctor, but it didn't turned out being the thing for me. I studied biotechnology in the beginning, then nursing and then I move to another country to study for medical school. When I finally found myself in chemical engineering, I had to stop it, cause I had scholarship for only one year.... So yeah 25 years, no job, no meanings to sustain myself and relaying on other people for everything. I think it can't get worse than that.