Had son involuntarily hospitalized--long

My son has been going downhill since he lost his job. Stealing from me to buy weed get peircings. He thinks someone from middle school murdered our cat midnight that had to be put to sleep about a month ago. He has these delusions and won't listen to anything otherwise.

I'm completely burnt out. He had gathered some weapons to use on this girl he thinks killed midnight and made statements about what he would do to her if she harmed his family again. I had to call his therapist. Grounds for an involuntary commit. 72 hr hold. I'm just wore out. His dad is worthless. Makes all these promises but never follows through. Introduced my son to pot to begin with.

My son is saying he will just temporarily go up on his ap to please the pdoc and then lower it when he gets out. I let the ppl that took him know. All he's worried about is if I'm going to throw out the pot. Yes I am. But he said he'll just steal again. I really don't want my son having a record but I am going to call the police if he does it again. My bipolar can't take this. I was yelling at his counselor yesterday bc I was so sleep deprived. I think my son needs to be in a group home or something. I need more support, that's all I know...

Oh Dear Rose,

I am sorry you are going through this. It does sound so very stressful.

I am glad your son is safe for now and hope he stays inpatient longer and gets more help/stabilized.

I agree this is too much stress. Maybe you will have to tell his pdoc/therapist he cannot come home? Maybe your suggestion about a group home will help others to look into this option with him?

I feel deep compassion for both of you; yet, agree with you totally!
You need a break!

Please keep reaching out for support.


WC

Thank you so much wild! I feel very alone in this. His therapist said he'd have to be willing to go to a group home and my son isn't willing. It's a mess! Ihe won't try a different ap bc he's worried about akathisia. He won't stay up on a higher dose of Zyprexa bc of weight gain and sleepiness which I understand. He doesn't think anything is wrong.

Thanks for the support.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I think you need to make it clear to his counselor that he can not come home. You need to protect your own mental health. Maybe once he realizes it's not happening, he'll be more receptive. Take good care of you.

you are in an extremely stressful and dangerous situation.

His therapist is right in saying he can't be forced into a group home. HOWEVER....they can't force you to take him back into your home either. It's sort of like last call in a bar "we can't tell you where to go but you can't stay here."

You son is in denial, uses drugs, talks about weapons, and has a plan to commit an act of violence. Try to discount the fact that he is your child for a few minutes. Picture if a friend of yours was telling you that they were considering letting a mentally ill person who refuses to take meds, uses illicit drugs, and is violent..stay in their home. You would tell them they're crazy, and probably fear for their life.

No one can force your son to be treated. The single most helpful and loving thing you can do right now is refuse to help him remain ill and in denial. That's exactly what you are doing if you let him come back home and continue on as if nothing happened.

What a nasty situation for you to be in and I hope there is a way to resolve it where everyone can benefit. I have to say I agree with Jennifer, though. You need to consider yourself and your needs first and foremost ~ unless you're good you're no good to anyone else either. You have to be able to make informed and reasoned decisions since your son can't/won't.
Best regards and good luck to you both.

I am so sorry Rose. I recently had to decide my son could not live here because I couldn't risk it psychologically. It's too much stress. Perhaps your son needs disability and to get on housing? I know that takes some time though. A group home isn't a bad idea. If he has no other option, he will likely take it over being homeless.

This type of situation must be so difficult for parents.
It places you "between a rock and a hard place."

My heart goes out.


WC

I talked to the discharge person. The deal is, he cannot come back home until he completes a substance use disorder evaluation, the pdocs feel he is stable enough to be released on appropriate meds, there will be no more pot use allowed, if he steals from me again I will turn him in. He either agreen with that or is homeless. There is one group home he can go to but chances arent good he'll be accepted. Those are the conditions. I go visit him tonight.

Good luck rose.

Best of luck to you in this situation. I know marijuana psychosis, I've lived it. Fortunately, I've been willing to take meds and stay away from the green.

Sounds rough, I hope all turns out well. Keep us updated

I know your going through hell, I'm sorry.

Stick to your game plan !

Last night he was really angry at me. Tonight he was more understanding. I hope he sticks to everything he's saying he will. He did start a different ap. He still has those delusions, his therapist said they probably won't go away, just lessen. He said they are probably fixed delusions at this point. I hope he improves on this new ap.

Thanks everyone for the support.

I'm sorry. This is a sad situation. My I ask his age and diagnosis?

He's 21, his diagnosis is depression with psychotic features.

I'm thinking of you, Rose.

I'm not sure of the timeline of when your son is due to come home.
I'm thinking of both of you.

I hope you've gotten some rest and are feeling more centered?


WC

I have gotten rest and I'm feeling more hopeful. Thank you. . He will probably be coming home on Thursday or Friday. I'm gonna make ribs, mac and cheese and corn. One of his favorite meals. thanks so much for your support.

Went and saw my son again. 2 of my sisters went too. His dad was supposed to be there but unfortunately didn't show up. My son wasn't too disappointed as he's used to his dad being unreliable.

Had a great visit, my son is doing so much better it makes me cry. He's talking about going back to college and working out again. He sees how pot made him unmotivated and paranoid. We didn't talk about his delusions, but he said he's not thinking about that girl anymore. He seemed happy and ready to make some changes in his life. I'm so glad for him. I love my boy.

Yep. You've talked about this and your son before, but obviously it wasn't this bad last time.

Just curious, have the doctors brought up "marijuana psychosis" at all? Happens to me every time I smoke too much weed (for months). I go psychotic and usually end up IP. Takes APs to get me out of it, and afterwards I spend about six months in a deep depression until my system readjusts. Thank God I've pretty much sworn off the stuff.

He has fixed delusions. Even when not smoking weed. Did you have those?

I know the weed exacerbates it, but the psychiatrists have said the pot triggered it. Whatever it is. They don't know yet.

He also has really bad anxiety, and they're treating that with gabapentin.

I need to talk to the psychiatrist more.

I have bipolar 1 and I have never had weed related psychosis.

Weed is what started it. I don't want to argue about it.

No. I am not arguing. You misunderstood me.

I didn't quote my post very well. I was referring to this comment by Bioche:

"Just curious, have the doctors brought up "marijuana psychosis" at all? Happens to me every time I smoke too much weed (for months). I go psychotic and usually end up IP. Takes APs to get me out of it, and afterwards I spend about six months in a deep depression until my system readjusts. Thank God I've pretty much sworn off the stuff."

I was taking about the fixed delusions without marijuana. I was just saying that sometimes it is more about the bipolar than it is the weed. I am able to smoke without getting psychosis.

I got psychosis from nothing. I'm bipolar I as well.

My son isn't bipolar. I talk about it here bc it's a struggle of mine.

I think marijuana can cause psychosis in some ppl. It did in my son.