[boogiesmash]

Well less than four months before the holidays. I made a statement before that if I'm alone for new years I'd try to kill myself again. I don't feel suicidal but thinking how soon it's coming and how I have no one to hang out with I am feeling sad. I don't want to be alone. I want to have a good birthday

[99fairies]

I am so sorry you dont have anyone to share the holidays with. I know having friends IRL is not the same as having friends on PC but we do care about you and you will always be part of this community.

[Shazerac]

I dread the holidays. I'm not alone but they depress me anyway. To much stress, to much interaction with people I prefer not being around.

I hope you don't have to be alone we'll be here for you.

[WildcatVet]

Holidays are just another day to me so, *Oh, sigh*. I do hope that you get to enjoy yours the way you'd like!

[bioChE]

Boogie, I think you're putting the cart before the horse. You're in IOP and working with a new psychiatrist/med regimen. The things you should be concerning yourself with are tomorrow and next week. As you progress in your recovery, you can begin to expand your "event horizon" to a month and further. Give yourself time, brother. You don't have to tackle everything at once.

We can all see it, even if you can't. Your sleep is better. Your mood is better. You're starting to blossom from someone who used Ambien to sleep the weekend away into someone who actually has motivation to do more things with your life. It's a great transition to watch from the outside, and I hope you're able to internalize at least some of it.

I think one thing you've gotten into the habit of is "catastrophyzing"(sp). That's the habit of looking at a situation and bracing yourself for the worst possible outcome. I know the struggle against it, as I do it myself. But people tell me it doesn't have to be this way, that there are ways to train your mind against the thinking....and in doing such you will begin to respond emotionally as well. This is a big part of CBT therapy/training, and there are ways to break those habits. I know CBT has somewhat fallen out of favor due to the current focus on DBT, but my guess is your IOP program will cover aspects of each.

Good luck with your journey. Take it one step at a time.

[Guiness187055]

The only thing I hate more than the holidays is my birthday.

I think quite a few people here are alone during the holidays. Maybe it would be nice if PC had special chat events on major holidays like Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, etc. It could be like a little gathering for those who are alone - just a thought.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs boogie, your doing great with the iop program, just take things one day at a time right now

(((Boogie))). The holidays are a very hard time for a lot of people for a variety of reasons. I agree with the others who recommend staying more in the present if possible. It's not always that easy but it could be helpful if you can manage it. I am sending out a great big wish for you right now Boogie.....that you find someone special to love who loves you back. Keep doing your best and you increase your odds by the day! (((Hugs)))

[*Laurie*]

You're not alone. I dread the holidays, and my birthday is in late December so there's that, too. Do try to stay in the present...try not to overthink what's happening four months from today.

Great answer from bioChE, I couldn't possibly say anything wiser, so I'll just second it.
Just keep up the good work you're doing now, boogie!

in terms of mood control, this year has been terrible.

in terms of what I've accomplished, this year has been terrible

I will be alone for Christmas and new year too

usually by now, I know what I am going to watch, and I've have ordered my Christmas treats (no joke!)

but I've not yet

1 thing...

I am hoping to write the sequel to my poem, " Christmas from a low perspective", the new one is " Christmas from a high perspective"

trouble is, you have to bee in that frame of mind to do write that (not just to be creative, but to think positive thoughts)

and i'm not in that frame of mind

[UpDownAround]

Boog,

While I agree that you should be concentrating on the near future and your recovery, I find it encouraging that you are thinking of the future well past this bump in the road. I hope you find it encouraging as well.

Christmas at my house with older kids (practically young adults) can be really stressful; it's not as special as it once was. Now it is "what is the budget for my big gift?" because they want to spend every red cent. Well, 2 of the 4 do. More stress - I think there is about a 50/50 chance that my position at work will not be funded next year. That would make it a Merry f'ing Christmas to remember.

I would appreciate a day or two by myself. If there is an unseasonably warm day during the holidays, I might drive an hour south for another degree or two of warmth and go fishing.

[Woolly Bugger]

My children all believe in the law of attraction. Start believing that you will have someone to be with during the holidays, and you will have a better chance of it actually happening.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with BioChE so I'll third that. Sending big hugs.