[boogiesmash]

So today I started my fifth week at iop. All I felt in morning was sluggishness and tired. Got to work and the coworker who f up my life was back from her leave. At first it didn't bother me. I left work for iop and had a good session about rebuilding structure and routine and some dbt skill (distress tolerance).

So I came back at two. She was talking about how good her cake was Apparently my squadthrew her a welcome back party during my absence. It made me feel like crap that they celebrate her and also went around my back or didn't warn me or anything. Then everything else started falling downhill. I couldn't concentrate, could barely stay awake and my emotional physical pain came back. I felt betrayed, defeated, unwanted, worthless and a failure.

I ended the day with a panic attack and this vistaril isn't doing shkt. I feel so alone. So broken.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you had this happen to you. Are there any of your IOP skills you can use in this situation? You aren't alone. I support you. Would it be feasible to get another job to get away from this co-worker who disturbs you so much? Sending big hugs.

[boogiesmash]

Not at the same pay. I feel like I need to win against her. I think that's a dbt error, but I don't know I'm struggling.

[bioChE]

DBT is going to teach you to let it go.

[Guiness187055]

Keep working as hard as you have been and everything will work out.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I feel like I need to win against her.

Maybe see if you can let that go.

I am really sorry Boogie. I recall you telling the story of what she did to you and it's really unforgivable.......your feelings are valid and nobody in your situation would likely feel any different. It must have been terrible to go through that today! I really wish you could get employment elsewhere which would pay what you're worth. All the DBT skills in the world won't make this situation any better really.......I would always be so worried about what she might do next! It would be maddening!!! But those DBT skills will make it easier to cope with and lessen the frequency of those revenge thoughts. I'm very sorry you went through this today....them throwing her a party must have felt like such a painful betrayal (((hugs)))

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I am really sorry Boogie. I recall you telling the story of what she did to you and it's really unforgivable.......your feelings are valid and nobody in your situation would likely feel any different. It must have been terrible to go through that today! I really wish you could get employment elsewhere which would pay what you're worth. All the DBT skills in the world won't make this situation any better really.......I would always be so worried about what she might do next! It would be maddening!!! But those DBT skills will make it easier to cope with and lessen the frequency of those revenge thoughts. I'm very sorry you went through this today....them throwing her a party must have felt like such a painful betrayal (((hugs)))

Yea made me feel like crap and that I don't matter. Sigh. Maybe I don't.

You absolutely do matter. When it comes to office parties, many if not most of them are thrown out of a sense of obligation and expected tradition. I know it's hard to accept but it wasn't personal, even if it feels it was. (((Hugs)))