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  #1  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 09:10 PM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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I'm thinking maybe I need to check in. I'm not having good thoughts,//trigger// I don't think I can do life right now.//trigger// I'm afraid to tell my husband, he'll be so disappointed. I tried to fake it through the weekend but I can't fight it or fake it for much longer. I don't know, I feel so guilty for being depressed. I called my mom and cried, I'm sure she's disappointed to. I'm such a freaking loser and failure. Why can't I cope with life like normal adults do. I'm rediculous
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  #2  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 09:17 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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You're not ridiculous. You're depressed. It makes everything impossible. The hospital might be a good place for you to get a rest where you don't have to take it for awhile. It doesn't make you a loser to need IP.

If you really think you can't do it anymore, then go. Maybe your husband will be upset but he'd be way more upset if he lost you.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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  #3  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 09:18 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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You're not a failure, loser or ridiculous. You're ill. You have a disease. You need to go to the hospital and you're very smart and brave to realize that. Please go tonight.
  #4  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 09:31 PM
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BipolaRNurse BipolaRNurse is offline
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By the time you think you may need to go IP, you should already be there. Good on you for recognizing that you're in trouble. Taking care of yourself is a brave act. Go in and get better. Hugs.
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  #5  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 10:33 PM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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I'm a burden to my family. I told my husband and I'm so ashamed, he said to sleep tonight and see how i feel in the morning. I don't know what to do right now. He said I'm not a burden but I don't believe that. His first reaction was that I'm going to have another week off work. That's why I'm a burden, I can't work right now and were going to have problems paying bills. I told him my brain just doesn't work like everyone else's. I hate myself right now
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  #6  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 10:43 PM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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I feel so guilty for having these bad thoughts, I'm such a terrible person!!
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  #7  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 10:54 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopeless2015 View Post
I'm a burden to my family. I told my husband and I'm so ashamed, he said to sleep tonight and see how i feel in the morning. I don't know what to do right now. He said I'm not a burden but I don't believe that. His first reaction was that I'm going to have another week off work. That's why I'm a burden, I can't work right now and were going to have problems paying bills. I told him my brain just doesn't work like everyone else's. I hate myself right now
Would you be able to sleep tonight? Would you be safe honestly? You're not a burden. You are a valuable, necessary, worthwhile person. You are so far from terrible. If you feel in your heart you need to go then go. Please keep posting. I'm concerned about you. (((Hugs)))
  #8  
Old Sep 17, 2017, 10:59 PM
MusicLover82 MusicLover82 is offline
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Go to the hospital, where they can get you to feel better faster. Hugs!! You are precious and loved.
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...Out of night and alarm
Out of terrible dreams
Reach me your hand!
This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep:
The white peace of the waking.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~

Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart
Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN
  #9  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 04:23 AM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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It's 4:15 and I'm still awake having bad thoughts!
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  #10  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 05:36 AM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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I think I'm going to go to ER about 7 or 8, who k ow I'd they'll admit me but the thoughts are //trigger// SI and not good. I don't know what else to do at this point. I don't want to wake my husband and upset him more than I did last night. I'm a terrible excuse of a human, I wouldn't blame him if he kicked me to the curb
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  #11  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 06:08 AM
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scatterbrained04 scatterbrained04 is offline
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You are NOT a terrible person. You a wonderful person who is just sick with an illness at the moment.

Going to the ER sounds like a good idea if you thinking of harming yourself. Please be safe. Sending big hugs
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*, hopeless2015
  #12  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 07:29 AM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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I agree. You are not a terrible person. How are you doing now? Are you headed to the hospital?
Thanks for this!
99fairies, hopeless2015
  #13  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 08:09 AM
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1978dd 1978dd is offline
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If your having thoughts of self-harm, then you should go to a hospital for an evaluation. (((Hugs)))
Thanks for this!
99fairies, hopeless2015
  #14  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 08:31 AM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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(((((( hopeless ))))))

Thinking of you.

Stay safe, please.


WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
Thanks for this!
99fairies, hopeless2015
  #15  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 11:01 AM
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Shazerac Shazerac is offline
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sweety please go to the hospital. You are not a looser, or burden to those who love you. You deserve to get the help you need.
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Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
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Thanks for this!
1978dd, 99fairies, hopeless2015
  #16  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 04:49 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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hopeless, how are you feeling today?
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hopeless2015
  #17  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 05:14 PM
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bioChE bioChE is offline
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I think she's IP
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Supplements: Monster Energy replacement. Also DLPA, tyrosine, glutamine, and tryptophan
Thanks for this!
hopeless2015
  #18  
Old Sep 18, 2017, 09:14 PM
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Cocosurviving Cocosurviving is offline
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I hope she is IP. You are brave for asking for help. Going IP takes guts. It's ok to be ill. We have all been there. Get better and let us know how you are
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#SpoonieStrong
Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day.

1). Depression
2). PTSD
3). Anxiety
4). Hashimoto
5). Fibromyalgia
6). Asthma
7). Atopic dermatitis
8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria
9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1)
10). Gluten sensitivity
11). EpiPen carrier
12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. .
13). Alopecia Areata
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