[BatsBelfry]

I have a family reunion coming up and I know there will be questions regarding my illness. See, I recently got a semicolon tattoo on my forearm and I know people will see it and ask about it. I can't describe the tattoo without describing why I have it. My new tattoo means a lot to me and my struggles with my "basket of crazy" as I call it. It helps to keep me looking forward and remember that I can continue. Even on days when I can't or don't want to. So how do you tell people that you have a basket of mental illness and the tattoo is a reminder for people like me that they need to continue on. I suppose just like that. Seems simple but it isn’t. See there is a greater question here. How do I tell someone about having a mental illness? Just typing the word seems bad, like even the keyboard is judging me. I understand that I can hide the tattoo and that I can say that the meaning is private. But is that the easy way out? To begin to deal with the illness don't I have to first say I have it, face it. Take it on head on. How do you tell people that life gets dark? People that just will not understand. How do you tell them that you see the world differently than them? That life affects differently. When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar II, I felt broken. More broken that I normally feel. That is hard to convey. This tattoo means all of these things to me. It means that I may be broken but I can go on. I can continue on like people on this site have continued on. It means I am mentally ill and no matter how that sounds to them, my keyboard, or anyone else this is a part of who I am. It means to me that I try to get a grip on my illnesses, that maybe there is hope. Even if it is only a sliver. Hell, the tattoo means me. It's who I was, who I am, and maybe who I can be.

[5150DirtDiva]

I just had to look this tattoo up. I would not tell them anything. If they ask tell them it is in support of people who struggle. Also, I think everyone, even neuro-typical people can understand that people struggle, they do too. Just say you are going through some things. Most people understand that. I think you are looking way to hard at this, be kind to yourself.

[bioChE]

If you don't want to discuss your own situation, just say that it's in support of mental health awareness and suicide prevention. I would think that would satisfy most people's curiosity.

Also, I don't have any tattoos. But I've seriously considered getting one of these myself.

[UpDownAround]

Most neurotypicals will mentally start backing away and not really listening about a quarter of the way in when you say you have a mental illness. If you want to sort through them to find the few who care, I start with saying that I have been getting treatment for my mental health. Then I read my listener and decide if they want the full story.

In a perfect world, we could just be honest. I hate to be negative but people mostly don't want to hear about it. They pretend to care but really don't and forget about anyone understanding because nobody does unless they've been through it. I'm done explaining myself....it's made no difference at all. If you want to talk about your tattoo, go for it. People might be intrigued or they might be incredibly uncomfortable and look for immediate ways to get away. It's a crap shoot. Whatever you decide, enjoy the family reunion.

[1978dd]

Originally Posted by BatsBelfry

I have a family reunion coming up and I know there will be questions regarding my illness. See, I recently got a semicolon tattoo on my forearm and I know people will see it and ask about it. I can't describe the tattoo without describing why I have it. My new tattoo means a lot to me and my struggles with my "basket of crazy" as I call it. It helps to keep me looking forward and remember that I can continue. Even on days when I can't or don't want to. So how do you tell people that you have a basket of mental illness and the tattoo is a reminder for people like me that they need to continue on. I suppose just like that. Seems simple but it isn’t. See there is a greater question here. How do I tell someone about having a mental illness? Just typing the word seems bad, like even the keyboard is judging me. I understand that I can hide the tattoo and that I can say that the meaning is private. But is that the easy way out? To begin to deal with the illness don't I have to first say I have it, face it. Take it on head on. How do you tell people that life gets dark? People that just will not understand. How do you tell them that you see the world differently than them? That life affects differently. When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar II, I felt broken. More broken that I normally feel. That is hard to convey. This tattoo means all of these things to me. It means that I may be broken but I can go on. I can continue on like people on this site have continued on. It means I am mentally ill and no matter how that sounds to them, my keyboard, or anyone else this is a part of who I am. It means to me that I try to get a grip on my illnesses, that maybe there is hope. Even if it is only a sliver. Hell, the tattoo means me. It's who I was, who I am, and maybe who I can be.

It's your tattoo, so the story you want! (((Hugs)))

I describe bipolar like a rollercoaster

I mean you have the straight parts of the track, you have the high dizzying heights when you can see the whole theme park, you have the dark tunnels, where the roller coaster plunges down a hill, and let's not forget the slow crawl it makes when you go back to the station

[WildcatVet]

I've found that very few people are even interested enough to ask and if they do I simply say I support treatment research for the mentally ill...which I do obviously. Don't let anticipation get the better of you because if there's a stigma attached to mental illness it's someone else's problem not yours. You don't have to feel the need to educate insensitive people or answer any questions if you don't feel like it.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

I describe bipolar like a rollercoaster

I mean you have the straight parts of the track, you have the high dizzying heights when you can see the whole theme park, you have the dark tunnels, where the roller coaster plunges down a hill, and let's not forget the slow crawl it makes when you go back to the station

And your meds are the seat belts.

[Terabithia]

I love the meaning of that tattoo - makes me want to get one. If it were me, and someone asked about it, I think I would say that it's a reminder to keep going no matter how hard life might be.....this is a universal struggle, so most people would relate. As far as telling people you have a mental illness, I have learned that most people, unless they have one themselves, just really don't understand. You said that people will be asking about your illness. Do they already know you have one? If they do, I think I might say something like, "it's very hard to explain. If you want to understand it, though, there's a website you can go to......." I think it's easier for people to accept symptoms of mental illness as symptoms of mental illness, rather than some character deficiency, if they learn about it from a book or website. I don't know how many people will care enough to learn about it - my own sister hasn't - but that's the approach I'd take. Carry the strength of that tattoo with you to that reunion. Y

[Sunflower123]

You got a lot of very good responses. Play it by ear. I hope you have a good time at the family reunion and everything goes smoothly.

[Shazerac]

Quote by Mary Poppins:

let me make one thing perfectly clear. I never explain myself!!

[BatsBelfry]

I can't get past thinking that if I just brush by what it means that I too I'm embarrassed by it. Then again, I don't have the courage just to talk about it fully. I always feel judged or that people think I'm lying. I think I'm going to hide in my cabin all weekend.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by BatsBelfry

I can't get past thinking that if I just brush by what it means that I too I'm embarrassed by it. Then again, I don't have the courage just to talk about it fully. I always feel judged or that people think I'm lying. I think I'm going to hide in my cabin all weekend.

I think hiding is an over reaction, and it reinforces your self image of there being something "wrong" with you. If someone asks, you you can say something like "I prefer not to discuss it." Your health, both mental and physical, is a private thing. You are not required to discuss with anyone unless you choose to.

[jacky8807]

I just read a quote recently .

don't tell anyone your struggles
90% of people don't care and the other 10% are happy you have them

I find this to be true a lot of the time. that is why I get comfort here

[Sunflower123]

I agree with Shazerac. Try not to hide in your cabin. Have a good time. If you feel like not acknowledging it would invalidate you and your illness but explaining it fully might not be heard and understood then come up with something in between. I like what someone said earlier about the tattoo standing for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. Best wishes.

[UpDownAround]

It is so hard to get past misconceptions/stigma and I get tired of trying to educate people. Tell them you have ADHD and they shrug it off. Tell them you are depressed and they offer compassionate reassurance that things will get better. Tell them you have bipolar disorder and they hide the knives. So I tend to be vague and try to figure out whether they really want to know and if they will really understand. Family can be bad about telling you that your diagnosis is wrong. Their hearts may be in the right place; they wish you didn't have it. But they can't talk you into not having it.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

It is so hard to get past misconceptions/stigma and I get tired of trying to educate people. Tell them you have ADHD and they shrug it off. Tell them you are depressed and they offer compassionate reassurance that things will get better. Tell them you have bipolar disorder and they hide the knives. So I tend to be vague and try to figure out whether they really want to know and if they will really understand. Family can be bad about telling you that your diagnosis is wrong. Their hearts may be in the right place; they wish you didn't have it. But they can't talk you into not having it.

Yea! What she said.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Yea! What she said.

I'm a he, last time I checked...

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

I'm a he, last time I checked...

LOL Sorry. I have a bad happen of mixing those up. It's hard to tell people's gender on this forum.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

LOL Sorry. I have a bad happen of mixing those up. It's hard to tell people's gender on this forum.

I said something clever, so naturally you just assumed...

[Guiness187055]

I don't explain it. It's myself and my wifes business and that is all.

[Wild Coyote]

I am diagnosed with several conditions. In general, most people aren't truly interested in an explanation of even just one of these conditions. While a few ask, these people appreciate brevity, with vague descriptions.

One of the ways both parties may profit from such a discussion, if the discussion is going to occur, is to share the ways in which your condition(s) limit you. This may help people with their misunderstandings about the motives behind absences, etc.

I like your tattoo. Its presence prompts interest/questions, as tattoos usually carry special significance for each person sporting a tattoo.

I like the support/advocacy type of an explanation for the semi-colon tattoo.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Today I'd approached an old friend, a lifetime friend I have not been in touch with for three years. I was very anxious she'd blow me off, because she could easily have the impression I had blown her off.*

To my amazement, she was thrilled to hear from me.
This was my first attempt to get back in touch with friends since a traumatic brain injury. She was very kind and understanding, which affirms my risk-taking in this case.

*I am still recovering from a random assault, where I'd had a head injury, amnesia and more PTSD. I'd dropped out of sight immediately after the incident. I am just starting to remember some things, things of all types, including how to get in touch with some friends, etc. Strange, but true. I've been very withdrawn socially. I think it's been 4 years since the assault (will have to check my records). So, for most friendships, I'd just disappeared, which can lead to hurt (and angry) friends sometimes.

It's difficult to reach out in hopes of re-uniting with friends/family.
In at least some cases, it will be worth the effort.


WC

[Shazerac]

Wild, I'm so happy you're reaching out again.

It's scary but you're doing it!!! People who value you will understand why you withdrew. If they give you grief about it?.....maybe you don't need them in your life right now.

My baby brother has TBI and he's slowly recovering. He's even starting to play his guitar again.