Newbie Intro [warning: wall-o-text]

Hi All,

I've been hanging around the depression forums as I am constantly depressed and was under the impression that my diagnosis was accurate (GAD/Social anxiety, ADHD, recurrent MDD -- diagnosed around 17). Things have always been bad when depression strikes but 3 years ago something changed (maybe my perception of mental illness? not sure) but I finally (after suffering alone for 13 years) started seeing a therapist who asked me to talk to my doctor for medication since I seem to have a chemical imbalance.

However, after multiple failed SSRI attempts my pdoc asked me to see a psychiatrist for med management which I started doing in early July. I was taken off SSRI's immediately and switched to Seroquel (low dose-immediate release). Seroquel isn't helping at all but my dosage is at 100mg so its not very high. I feel like it is a sugar pill, the only benefit I have is generally 2 hours after taking it in the evening I feel sleepy, but this also varies as I have pulled a few all nighters for work since I started the Seroquel two months ago. The severe hyperactive movements and feeling like I need to jump out of my skin that I had while on SSRIs has vanished though so that is a minor improvement but I attribute that to stopping SSRIs and not the Seroquel.

I mentioned this at my appointment yesterday which resulted in adding a pediatric dose of lithium er (300mg) along with the Seroquel. I also had to get blood work done too, I was told it was a baseline workup to follow during my lithium treatment.

I am scared to start the Lithium which I need to pick up today, I've never been the best at managing my fluid intake and always tend to run on the dryer side.. if that makes sense. Anyway, I spent 6 hours last night reading about lithium. My dose is real low which is nice, I've been titrated very slowly on everything I have tried so far to avoid side effects since my mental state is already all over the place.

Am I being overly paranoid about the fluid intake for the dosage I am on?
Also, will a pediatric dosage help with anything or am I at the mercy of waiting for a therapeutic dosage for relief :-( I am currently still depressed and have random bouts of rage feelings. I can contain the anger feelings by bottling it up but then I just end up feeling like I am screaming into emptiness inside my head. It's uncomfortable.

Also HI I am new here, as of yesterday I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II. I am still learning about it but things are starting to make sense with the behaviors I have displayed over the last decade. I am also currently mildly agoraphobic (I leave my house maybe once a month to get groceries and I cannot do it without someone with me). I also lost the ability to drive three years ago as a result of constant panic attacks anytime I am in a car. I mention these things because there is a good chance I might not respond to anyone that takes the time to read this. I have been trying harder to be responsive to others though but baby steps, even online my social anxiety flares up and makes it difficult to interact. If I don't respond today, I will respond at some point when I am feeling stronger.

Also, quick note.... I haven't searched the forums yet for bipolar debt but this is also an area of my life that I am failing miserably in. I had to let two things go into collections this month as I have 12+ CC maxed out (~$30k) with minimum payments that are quite large when added together. I contemplated bankruptcy last week until I realized I had to talk to someone about it -- I have a hard time talking in-person or on the phone. Not really sure if I have a question or a point to this. Are there online resources available to learn more about how to take control of bipolar debt? I am overwhelmed by it all and currently feel like there is no way out. This could be my depression talking.

Hi and welcome to the Bipolar Forum at PC.

I must apologize, as I am very short on time. I will return to thoroughly read your post. Just wanted to be sure you've gotten a response. I am sure others will be along to respond as well.

Thanks for your patience.

WC

Hi and welcome.

A really good place to learn about bipolar is PsychEducation | Treating the Mood Spectrum It's written by a psychiatrist who specializes in bipolar and has tons of information.

My experience with lithium was that it made me thirsty enough I increased my fluid intake without thinking about it. I wasn't a big water drinker until lithium and even now that I've been off it for years I still drink a lot (my other meds make me thirsty). At 300 it probably won't be too bad.

Again welcome and ask anything we can help with. It's a lot to deal with when it's new.

I used to think SSRIs were supposed to give you the grins if they were any good, Some were nasty and turned me into an insufferable crank. That was euphoric and irritable hypomania respectively. A lot of us come in through the SSRI door. Welcome!

Overspending is very common with BP. I know you would like to avoid it, but you are likely going to need to talk to a credit counselor and/or lawyer to resolve your debt.

Hi and welcome. I can relate to much of what you've written....the agoraphobia, debt, social anxiety, etc. I don't have advise on the debt as I have the same questions as you. I think I need to look into debt consolidation....find something with a lesser interest rate and only make one payment. This would alleviate a lot of stress. I need to shop around to find the best rates I imagine I just don't know where to look or how to start.

The baby dose of lithium might be helpful. In areas where lithium is naturally found in the water supply the suicide rates in the region are lower than the national average. I don't think there is a therapeutic dose in the water so it must have some benefits at smaller doses. Ask your doctor. Be sure to drink lots of water.....set a timer on your phone or something.

Welcome to PsychCentral!

I used to be on lithium but the side-effects did not work out for me. I remember goung though $100K very quickly. I now have about $15K in debt that is just killing me financialy. I am on disability. I also was imitialy diagnosed with depression amd treated with tricyclics (sp) which is what only was availaboe at the time. Many years kater, in my 40s, I was disgnosed with Bipolar II. This explained allot. I hope you manage to post here from time to time. I will look forward to this. Oh yes, look into debt forgivrness with a bankruptcy attorney. This is mot as extreme with advantages over bankruptcy. I now pay $600 a month on debt with income that is not much over twice than that to pay the bills.

Here's someone who's very experienced with taking lithium! I wouldn't worry too much about drinking liquids, in fact, most people overdo it and end up with sub-therapeutic blood levels. Just your average 8 8oz a day is plenty unless you're working out or doing anything that causes you to sweat a lot...then you need a little extra. Also, while you're titrating your dosage your doctor will order blood levels to monitor you...and get you up to a therapeutic level.
It was a great medication for me at controlling my symptoms and with no side effects. A medical hospital mix-up put me on Depakote which just isn't cutting it all...it has almost no effect on my depression. Can't wait to get back on my lithium!
You're not alone...I'm BPII, agorophobic, vehophobic, and in Chapter 7 bankruptcy!
Best of luck on your journey!

I appreciate the time you took to respond regardless of the content it is nice knowing I am not alone.

Thank you for the information! It took me 4 days to work up the courage to take my first dose, I actually gave myself a panic attack when I took it which was no fun but expected as I had been working myself into a tizzy for a few days before I dosed. I am a few days in now and I have only noticed I start to feel a bit flushed two hours in, if there are other side effects I don't know at this point as I take it before bed.

Thank you for your comment

Yes, when I was on paxil I used to get what I called the "paxil punches". It caused me to not necessarily be aggressive and irritable all the time (though that was a frequent feature), sometimes it just made me feel like I had super strength and I wanted to just lift things over my head and destroy them. I have felt like this before when I wasn't on paxil so I was familiar with the feeling, but it was constant when I was on that drug and it was (for obvious reasons) an unwanted behavior.

My therapist and psychiatrist have told me the same thing about credit counseling, at this stage in my treatment it's something I am not ready for nor capable of doing. I have signed up a few times this month for counseling but I end up ignoring the returned calls. I am hoping once I get my medication sorted out it will come easily.

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it

Hello. Welcome to PC and the bipolar forum. You are in the right place. There are many caring, supportive on this forum. I'm glad you're here. Sending big hugs.

I would love to be in a position to have only a few payments a month, one would be amazing but I would even settle for 3-4 at this point. Currently I have upwards of 15 minimum payments I need to make a month (not including necessities such as food, utilities or rent). I can't even take care of myself physically so pushing to get my finances under control is like trying to swim from the bottom of the ocean to the air above when you can't swim at all. I have been trying not to dwell on it but this month is bad, I couldn't make any of my payments as my utility bills skyrocketed over the summer while I forgot to keep up on my payments. Skipping my CC payments this month has helped me almost catch up. I am going to try and catch up on my missed CC payments next month and see what happens.

Here's to wishing for the strength to take control, for both of us

It would be great if lithium did help with my suicidal thoughts, mine are passive. I don't want to actually harm myself but I have fallen victim to self-harm many times throughout my life. Never with intention to do real harm, but I suspect those two things go hand in hand as it is when they tend to show up that I find myself with the urge. It's like a broken repeated record in my head, over and over and over..

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it

Wow, I realize $15k is a lot but you did an amazing job getting it that far done from where it started. You inspire me and I thank you for your response. Once I can shower and get out of my house I will start investigating this more so as to try and take back control of my life. Thank you again.

Thank you for your message, it is reassuring to hear your input about the water intake. I try to remind myself that typically people who have issues with a medication are the most vocal, versus the ones who are feeling better with it. I forget this tidbit though when I am in obsessive research mode. It is good to hear from people who have good experiences so thank you for your insight

Thank you for the warm welcome it is nice to know I am not alone. I have a good support system in my family, but my boyfriend (although he tries reallllllly realllllly hard) sometimes doesn't understand why I feel, say and think the things I do. Sometimes he says things that isolate me and make me feel alone and a burden even though he is kindhearted and it is not his actual intent. He just doesn't understand and I don't want to think poorly of him on account of it. It will be nice to share my thoughts with others who are similar to me, I feel it may help me help him if that makes sense.

I'm sure the more I learn the better I will be able to communicate with him. Anyway, thank you again for the welcome