[SorryShaped]

Writing what I did there made a whole giant load of stuff come to the surface, hard. Whoever started it is either a genius or an evil genius. It really hurt me to see what I'd written, because it really hurts to keep that buried so deep. I'm not removing it from the thread, because others might feel the same way and know they aren't alone. I would love to be told I'm not alone in that but also horrified that anyone else would have to feel that way. I became shaky and nervous feeling by the time I finished it and I've been crying since I started. It's feelings like those that made me suicidal last time I hospitalized myself. I'm not going to let that happen again. It's THEIR problems that I can't fix because they aren't MY problems. I'm only responsible for my own. I can't wait to get out tomorrow morning and go run and exercise. I'm going to leave at 6 if I can get out of the door quietly.
Well crap, now I get to go make supper. Time to pretend to be composed

I do not have bipolar, so I feel a little like I shouldn't be posting here. But I wanted to tell you I just wrote on that thread too, and it's hurting me too this afternoon. I'm glad I wrote it, and I'm glad the thread exists, because this is important, but holy crap, the feelings it stirred up are horrendous. Jeez.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

I do not have bipolar, so I feel a little like I shouldn't be posting here. But I wanted to tell you I just wrote on that thread too, and it's hurting me too this afternoon. I'm glad I wrote it, and I'm glad the thread exists, because this is important, but holy crap, the feelings it stirred up are horrendous. Jeez.

Luckily I am fairly good at hiding how I feel by not making eye contact, pretending my allergies are acting up, and pretending to pay attention in conversations. The whole "what do you want for dinner" question isn't minded because I don't care. I'm making what I want and listening to Pigface or whatever loud music I can find through headphones, but not Rufus Wainwright right now

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Luckily I am fairly good at hiding how I feel by not making eye contact, pretending my allergies are acting up, and pretending to pay attention in conversations. The whole "what do you want for dinner" question isn't minded because I don't care. I'm making what I want and listening to Pigface or whatever loud music I can find through headphones, but not Rufus Wainwright right now

Pigface album "E.S.Y.F.R!"(deliberately not spelled out) drowns out everything and gets me pumped

[99fairies]

Where did you find that mom and dad thread? I've been looking with no luck.

I created that thread...

((((hugs))))