Fear of talking to people

I've been thinking this morning about a problem I have, and I just don't know how to get past it. I have a giant fear of talking to anyone when I'm unwell. Or letting anyone see me unwell. It bleeds over into my life because I won't let anyone be close to me due to it. I won't pursue relationships or friendships. I'm talking makes me physically sick anxiety straight up fear.

I feel like everyone will just hate me for being sick. And that those that don't hate me will try to make me go to the hospital, which is a whole other fear.

My pdoc has said I hide, and that I'm so alone. It's true. This is a large reason why. I've never told him this. He's one of the ones that'd put me in the hospital.

I'm not sure I make sense, but any advice would be appreciated.

I have in the past been completely alone in my pain. The only people that truly understand bipolar are those with bipolar. I'm grateful to have a few friends that are also bipolar and it seems the more I gravitate to people, the more people I meet that are also bipolar. Weird? Interesting? Dunno. I do open up to others, even in my deepest darkness, because either they'll run away or stay, and that shows me whom I know can be trusted.

I'm the same as you and your right it's highly anxious provoct. I have always put it down to social anxiety. I'm told I'm alobe a lot of the time which is true but I won't admit it for fear of being judged. I have no answers for you other than I understand where you are at