4 questions about NAMI/DBSA

I really need to stop being a chicken and go to DBSA. I would do NAMI, except their schedule is terrible and inconvenient. (Sometimes I wonder if I can complain about that... because I can imagine most people can't attend 1-2pm meetings during the week.) anyways, questions:

(1) how did you overcome your anxiety about going?
(2) did you ever get triggered? How many times? (No need to explain why.)
(3) are you expected to share? What do you think of people who don't share?
(4) did you share your diagnosis?

I went to DBSA once. I kind of just swallowed my anxiety and went. It helps that I was in a good place at the time. Anyway yes, I shared my dx, but I didn’t talk. In my meeting they went around the circle and did introductions where they asked if there was anything you wanted to share. I said no, they didn’t press me. Everyone got about ten to fifteen minutes to share and receive feedback. It was a nice meeting. I would go back if I needed to. I just haven’t been back because I’ve heen stable.

Hi bluebicycle. I've been to DBSA meetings many times in the past. I have never been to a NAMI support group, but have attended a WRAP there. In answer to your 4 questions:

1. Initially I didn't have anxiety. In fact, I was often hypomanic or near manic when I attended, but the facilitators were understanding. They would reel me in at times. But there did come a time when it was next to impossible to get me out of the house. I experienced some agoraphobia. The time came again when I wanted to attend. I was still nervous to leave home, but I'd get there and the meeting wasn't as bad as I thought. Or sometimes I went and only stayed for part of the meeting. They were OK with that. I didn't feel funny leaving early when I needed to.

2. I could understand people being triggered by very depressive talk, like hopelessness or expressions of suicidal ideations. Actually, I did not hear much of the latter. I think that if such talk could trigger you that you should ask for those speakers to talk last, or announce it as a trigger warning so you could step out briefly to get a drink. I actually had more triggers from manic members, especially if I was on the cusp of mania. In these cases it is again good to step out, or hopefully if the facilitators are really good and perceptive they can step in. Really, I don't remember being triggered that often, but that's me. Others may be more easily triggered.

3. You are not expected to share, if you don't want to. They generally do want you to give your name, which could be made up. Or even if you don't want to give a name you can just say "I'm here for the meeting, but would rather not share." If a facilitator pushes for more, then I'd complain to the head facilitator by e-mail.

4. Most people at the DBSA meetings share their dxs. I don't know about at NAMI support group meetings, since I've never attended one. Again, I don't think you need to share your dx, if you don't want to. You could say the same thing (or similar) that I quoted above.

I'm a current group member and facilitator with NAMI and before I moved I was a group member and facilitator with DBSA.

1. It helps to remember that everyone there will share some common traits with you and that nobody is going to make you say anything the first time you're there. Nobody is going to make you say anything the fifth time you're there.

2. People are triggered. I have been triggered. You can step out of the room if you want to. At NAMI each meeting is supposed to have two facilitators, and if you appear distressed and leave the room one will probably follow you out just to make sure you're okay. YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE.

3. You can share pretty much anything. I think people who don't share are a little shy or a little new to the diagnosis. That's it. Nothing bad.

4. You never have to share your diagnosis. Some DBSA groups are set up with an intro that asks about your diagnosis, but you don't have to share it. NAMI specifically asks us to see the person instead of the diagnosis. It's totally up to the individual whether they share it or not.

I went to DBSA several times.

1 - The first time I went I was hypomanic. Next question...

2 - No

3 - The moderator said there is no expectation, but it was rare that anyone passed. The few times someone did, I felt compassion because I knew that meant they were uncomfortable.

4 - Yes, but see answer to question 1 - if the twinkling eyes and wide grin didn't give me away, the cat was pretty much out of the bag as soon as I started talking. Not only was I hypomanic, I had hypomania that was both expansive and euphoric which meant I had a great time telling everyone anything they wanted to know and several things they did not.