[Victoria'smom]

After about 6-7 years, I’m without a therapist and I’m so scared. My last 3 T’s were no help. My other therapist was decent but he left the clinic. We left the clinic. I keep getting stuck with newbies which doesn’t help me. T3 seemed like she could have helped but she’s only allowed to see medicare patients and only 1x a month. She was the one pushing IOP. This last T said we go over the same thing every session. Well stop only telling me to be mindful obviously it’s not working for me.

I lack insight as does my husband with how (un)well I am. My first real team told us we’re so use to us being unwell and dealing that we can’t see it even if it’s apparent to them. That we suck at being each others T and pdocs that we have to let them do their jobs. These T’s don’t seem to know how help. I know I’m hard to talk to unless I’m (hypo) manic, I trip on my words, and am almost silent. It doesn’t help that I think they’re just looking for a reason to put me IP to drug me up and to declare me unfit to be a mom. Which I know it’s untrue but that’s what I think.

I see pdoc at the end of the week and have to tell him I ghosted my therapist and will not be going back. I’m worried they’ll be mad like I did something wrong. Hell it is me, 3 T’s can’t be horrible, it’s me not them. I’m not sure I can keep myself safe for months at a time. Hell day by day it’s touch and go for me a lot of times. I only attend co-op because I’m scared to be alone as my head will run away with me. I really don’t want another T. I’m just done trying and failing to find a T that fits me. I don’t know what I need pdoc will probably just up my meds. Any suggestions on how to make it without a T?

On a positive note I've taken my meds daily for 6 months without missing a day.

[Deejay14]

On a positive note I've taken my meds daily for 6 months without missing a day.[/QUOTE]

Great for you that you have been so consistent with your meds. That's a big step to take.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Congratulations on meeting the med goal!

As for therapy, maybe your pdoc will have a suggestion. Maybe someone else will come along at the clinic and you can try again. Just b/c 3 therapists didn't work out doesn't mean something is wrong on your part. I've had 2 really good therapists, 1 ok one and about 8 that were awful. I don't know what I'll do when this one retires. There is so much that goes into a working therapy relationship and a perfectly good therapist won't click with every patient.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Great job on being so consistent with your meds! 3 Ts can be wrong. Some are bad, some we just dont work well with and thats ok. I dont have many suggestions for going without one. I think you are probably better off to continue trying to find one that understands you and can really help you if that is an option at all. If not do you have a crisis line where you are? That might be good for if you need help in the meantime

[Victoria'smom]

The other T's see my husband and son. So because of paranoia I can't go to either one. I already worry with my son CPS will be called if there's a misunderstanding with him and his T. Wouldn't the crisis line just suggest hospitalization, I don't know I've never called one? It's good to know it may not be me. I'm just talked out for awhile. My husband wants me just to take a break and not swear off therapy. I think he's a bit worried about me without a therapist since my pdoc likes long periods between visits.

I used to call a crisis line when I lived in a different city. I think it was local. I remember a nice man on the line giving me coping strategies to deal with my mentally ill mother (she was in her 60s). She was driving me over the edge.

I would try calling—why not see what it’s like?

[Shazerac]

Consistency with your meds is fantastic. My Pdoc so ok with me not having a T right now. However when I get back from vacation I'm going to start looking for one because I have been rapid cycling as in 5 or 6 times per DAY.

Being without a T can be scary, but it sounds like you weren't getting much help from the one you did have all I can say is keep looking until you can find one that helps you.