My bipolar affected memory has screwed me

Here's an excerpt from the article, What Are Some Problems Students Have With Memory?: "They are often reluctant to engage in tasks, such as schoolwork and homework, which require sustained mental effort." It is so true for me and it just makes me want to put my head down cry and give up.

Prior to the full onset of my bipolar disorder I had an uncannily good memory. That disappeared when I was 26 -- the age of my first acute(and the most severe) psychological collapse due to bipolar disorder and environmental conditions.

Presently, I'm preparing for interviews in the field that I studied in undergrad and graduate school. But, the absolutely disheartening and depressing thing, which really makes me want to give up, is that I remember virtually nothing even though it's only been about two years since I was in grad school where I last consistently was involved in learning/using those skills. During grad school I'd noticed my impairment associated with remembering information between adjacent semesters. I wasn't cramming for tests; I consistently studied hours per day, at least five days a week every week of the semester. And when a test or project was approaching I'd study everyday and double the efforts of my previous study habit at least two weeks prior their due date. But, two or three weeks into the following semester, I'd remember a nominal amount, rather next to nothing. A year or more after that semester? It was like I didn't even take the class. This all basically told me that all of that work was for nothing. This wasn't really an issue while I was an undergrad; I remember talking to classmates about how funny I thought it was that we were being taught information from one class in an entirely different class in a different semester.

How do I explain to a potential employer that I have a brain disease that not only has resulted in brain damage but also gravelly affected(and still affects) my memory? How do I prepare for this(or any) career when I can't even remember what I've learned from day-to-day, week-to-week?? How do I explain that I had to quit my last job due to shame & embarrassment(I'd missed 60% of my last two months of work to undergo almost daily hospital-facilitated treatments, the last time I returned to work I couldn't remember how to do pretty much anything that I'd been doing there for my 10 months of employment)? I had no idea how to explain this to my boss; mixed with embarrassment and disgrace, I just quit.

I have a degree in healthcare but did not pursue it as a job because I could not hack it. I work as a teacher now and hope to be a interpreter and translator. Teaching is not that difficult for me. I don't feel the need to disclose my illness to anybody at work. I work part-time but am working for two companies and also privately. I would not disclose your illness to anybody unless you absolutely have to do so. Work is work. People who hire don't really care about your problems but care if you can do the work they hire you to do. If you believe you can't do the work, then don't pursue the job. I could not work in the healthcare field. It is too stressful and not good for my health. This is the reason I am doing something else. There must be jobs you can do without worrying about your impairment. I suggest you find them. Just because you have a degree in a certain field does not mean you have to pursue this field if you can't do the work. But, if you believe you can do it, then why don't you try it and see if you can succeed. Otherwise, please don't expect others to understand your problems from your illness. Truthfully, unless you are in the mental health field, people are not that understanding. The bottom line is can you do the work or not despite your illness. I understand that there are laws for disability accommodations. Why would anybody hire another person with a disability unless they can perform or outperform others who don't have a disability? Also, if you keep taking absences at your job, nobody is going to hire you. You need to be able to at least show up to work even though you may not want to do so. I have days when I want to just be alone and not face the world. However, I force myself to go to work even though I don't want to work on certain days. A job is not a right but a privilege. Many people want to work but are not able to do so for some reason or another. Please don't expect others who hire you to understand your problems if you don't show up for work. Again, if you are not ready to work, then don't. I did not work while I was hospitalized. I started working only recently because I am doing well mentally and physically. I am able to take a decent amount of stress now because I am mentally somewhat stable. So please don't be impatient about yourself and take a job if you can't do it. Wait until you are sure about yourself and your illness. It took me a long time to find the right treatment. Then, it took years for me to accept this treatment and remain stable. I don't know what is the best treatment for you. However, please don't pursue work if you think you can't do it. The last thing you need is another failure or set back. What you need is to find something you can succeed at doing. This will give you confidence and put you back on track. Best wishes!!

Have you checked with your doctor? Is it your medication(s)?

My mom was on disability. She had memory (and other) problems, but it wasn’t from being bipolar—it was brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain.

I have a friend I’m not in much contact with these days. We live pretty far apart now. She has memory problems, but it isn’t bipolar. She has dissociative disorder.

This is one of the reasons I can't work at all. I have what's called CRS---Can't Remember S***. My pdoc says it's not dementia, which I feared, but rather a combination of repeated bipolar episodes and the meds I take to treat it. I'm very stable now but my short-term memory is shot. I lost my last job because I couldn't learn the computer program. I can quote you the lyrics from a song that came out in 1968 but can't tell you what I ate for lunch today, or even if I ate lunch at all.

You may want to consider going on Social Security Disability if you've got enough work credits. Trying to explain your mental health problems to a potential employer is fraught with danger; as a PP said, why would someone hire a person with a disability if they can hire somebody without one? It may not be fair, but neither is life. I feel for ya, hun. Hugs.

My psychiatrist told me the same thing. In my case my Bipolar is unstable and I've had only one episode-free month all year. I was a well paid, respected health professional but have not been to work since diagnosis. I have been told I will never work again.
I had some cognitive testing done a few months ago. It showed that my brain is not encoding new info hence the short term memory loss. I also struggle with being able generate information. Hence, I sometimes stand at the top of a flight of stairs and have a complete mental blank about how I can get down them.
I am very lucky because I am paid salary discontinuance through my previous employers insurance.

bpforever made some really good points. If you don’t think you can do the job, then don’t pursue it. Don’t disclose the illness to your employer unless you absolutely have to. And don’t rake a load of time off work and expect someone to employ you.

Lamictal wrecked my memory. When I first started it, I’d stop mid sentence because I had totally forgot what I was even talking about. I’ll mean to do something and totally forget. Forget trying to read a damn book too. By the time I get to page 100, I’d forgotten wth i just read on page 99!

numb5. I could have written your post. I have the same memory. And affects my life in the same sort of way.

I'd frequently talked about my memory impairment with my psychiatrist. It was only when I mentioned that I was going to seek out a neurologist that he finally, I suppose, realized how concerned I was with the issue. It was then that he told me that there was a correlation between bipolar and impairment with working memory.

I also generally never missed work when I was working. Even on days when I was holding on by my fingertips, those days when depression had dragged me to the bottom of the sea, I still went to work because taking one day off of work wouldn't have solved anything. Really, all it would have done would have been to given me "extra" work on the day of my return, making up for the work I'd missed -- there wasn't anyone there that would have been able to fulfill my duties. Taking off work really was never really a good option.