[UpDownAround]

My son is IP tonight. He had what seems almost like a nervous breakdown today. I will get to see him in the morning before transport from the crisis center to another facility. One of the stressors he talked to the psychologist about is me making inappropriate comments/jokes. He knows why and that it isn't something I can completely control. That doesn't make it okay and doesn't keep it from bothering him. He is okay with me coming by the crisis center in the morning but doesn't want me to visit at the other facility while he works through things. I am getting this from my wife and hope that something is being lost in translation. I try to be there and be supportive of all my kids. I spent most of the night in the ER with him just a few weeks ago. I am pretty devastated.

Hey, I’m sure you didn’t cause him to break down. Maybe he’s just feeling so on edge anything would make him tip over, you know?

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. You can’t know what he is feeling, right? Just assume he needs some space, that’s all. Do your best not to make a big deal out of it when you see him. If he knows you can be cool and calm, things will go better.

Hang in there

[BeyondtheRainbow]

You sound like a good, loving parent in all your posts. I'm glad your son has been able to be honest about what was bothering him and what he needs to recover. I'm sure the treatment providers will help him work through it and be ready to have you visit in time.

All we can do is the best we can do.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I’m very sorry. This is sad but don’t blame yourself. Whenever I go IP, I tell people NOT to come visit. Nothing against them but I just want to spare my family seeing me in there like that. It’s more like me trying to protect them from hurting over my situation. I just say “no worries, I’ll be gone for the usual stretch and I’ll call you when I’m out!”

Some people are like that and then there’s those that depend on their daily visits. Just give your son some rest and time. It’s not your fault ((Hugs)).

[UpDownAround]

I saw him this morning before they transferred him and he did not have much to say to me. We did speak and when I told him I loved him on the way out, he did say the same and it isn't automatic with him. He isn't a hugger with anyone but my wife and even then just puts up with her hugging him briefly, so it was no surprise not to get one as I left. It was an uncomfortable visit because of the long silences and his downcast eyes (he usually does look me in the eye). I still don't know everything about what is going on. My wife told me there was more last night but needed to think about how to say it so I didn't misunderstand.

[Victoria'smom]

Hope your son gets well soon. Is family therapy available to you?

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Hope your son gets well soon. Is family therapy available to you?

I am sure it is. We need it. He has bigger problems with one of his siblings than with me, or at least I think they are bigger. We have two kids who both have mental and emotional health challenges (actually all 4 have some) at odds with each other. Both have been to the ER and IP this year and there are situations where they are at odds and we try not to come down too hard on either because of what could happen. In this case, my son who is now IP was clearly in the right and he is very angry that we haven't done more to address it out of fear of self harm or suicide by his brother (who I took to the ER after taking too many pills; I have done that with both of them in the last few months). It's a no win situation.

[Victoria'smom]

Can you come at the situation as concerned not heavy handed? I think you would do well to go to family therapy and possibly couples therapy so you and your wife both can be on the same page when it comes to discipline. It's really hard to know how to discipline MI kids. Do they each have an individual T?

[UpDownAround]

Wife won't do couples therapy. I am going to explore the idea of family therapy.

[Sunflower123]

I’m glad your son is getting the help he needs. You sound like a good, loving parent. Hopefully he’ll come through this feeling much better and you’ll be on even ground again. Best wishes.

[UpDownAround]

I got a call from my son tonight, He seemed to be in pretty good spirits. He said the hospital is like camp only when you go home you don't want to die anymore. We had a more comfortable conversation than we had early Monday before he was transported from the crisis center. It made me feel a lot better.

[Nammu]

I'm glad the hospital is helping

[~Christina]

Great news !

[Victoria'smom]

That's wonderful. Glad he's feeling " comfortable " there.