[Aviza]

I mentioned I was on disability and the person was surprised, she says you seem so normal. I said that's what meds can do. I know I seem normal, even thought I was for a while and tried to live like a normal person. I relapsed and realize I cannot be working two jobs trying to make ends meet living on my own. I need the support staff or to be living with another person.

Even though I was reasonably happy working my two jobs, I had jobs I enjoyed. I still fell apart. I even had an apartment I liked. I just wish I could be normal. I really am driven and try hard to achieve. But I relapse and kick myself in the butt really. That is depressing, though I don't get depressed anymore I get crazy mostly.

[Shazerac]

Thank good it’s not always obvious on the outside when we are not “normal”. Although sometimes I wish I could were a big plaster cast on my head like I would on my arm if my arm was broken. I think people who don’t understand mental illness expect a mentally ill person to be shuffling around in ragged clothes, drooling and swatting at the invisible bats swarming around their head.

[Biteplate]

I have this problem too where people think I'm normal yet I'm on disability. The thing I hate about it is ive come across people that act like I shouldn't be on disability because I present myself so well.

[Emotionally Dead]

I don't have much to add, but I don't believe in "normal". It's a word I use like everyone else does, but I don't think it truly exists. Is anyone really normal? I don't believe so. We are all different, and that's what makes the world interesting. If everyone was just "normal" we would be a world full of robots, and what is the fun in that? I am not trying to take your situation lightly, or mental/physical health in general, but I am just saying. Anyone who thinks they are normal probably aren't, lol.

This is bang on. People assume that because I have a good state of normalcy that everything is okay and that I should be capable of working, etc. They don't see the PTSD and anxiety because I put on a good front. They don't see the individual who at the drop of that hat can fall into debilitating depression or mania. They don't see the person who keeps quitting jobs on account of the fear and anxiety. They don't see that sometimes it is all I can do to appear to be normal.

[Nola0250]

I hate this too.

I just had an intense conversation with a friend who has no chronic MI but at one time had a bad situational depression with SI. He was talking about it. Told him about my diagnosis. I was looking for someone to say, I get it. I know what it’s like when your mind betrays you. I’ve been there. All I got from him was, “I’m sorry I don’t see that. You’re totally normal. You just need to calm down.”

My brother says it’s a compliment because it means I present well. I was disappointed that the one friend I know who might get it, doesn’t.

Having a hard time accepting that the only people I ever talk to in person who get it are the ones I pay to talk to me.

I have ‘passing priviledge’ too (an expression originally used in the LGBT+ sphere to mean someone who seems heteronormative on the surface), as no one can tell that I have a diagnosis of sz, or am on disability.

In a way, it’s great because I don’t get stigma from ‘normies’. If it comes up, I say that I do mental health support work (the person I support the most just happens to be myself), and I ‘pass’. Some might argue that I’m wrong to do so, but I’m not interested in ‘outing’ myself to try to break down stigma or whatever because people aren’t interested. The current media narrative is that a lot of people are defrauding the benefits system and so I don’t want to be accused of faking just because nobody can see the mess inside my head! (Though the official fraud figures are less than 0.1%!)

The problem is when any professional or person with MH difficulties finds out, because then I’m not believed. As such, I don’t attend drop in centres or support groups because I’m fed up of being shunned. I genuinely don’t get it though because nobody else that I meet at these places is drooling on their shoulder or whatever their ridiculous MI stereotypes are! But I guess that I don’t use my label as a badge of honour so that must be why I don’t fit in... I don’t talk about my difficulties IRL, and rarely on here, and that’s just what works for me, but it does get isolating

*Willow*

[Unrigged64072835]

I had that issue for many years. Now it's pretty obvious that something is wrong with me thanks to meds and side effects.

[~Christina]

I present fine ..... as I was always told if anyone asks you how you are “ you are fine” thanks mom I’m very good at hiding but my T and Pdoc know a much more honest wreck life ( at times)

[BipolaRNurse]

I present well too. My mind can be going 1000 miles an hour and far, far away, or I can be deep in the darkness, and nothing shows on the outside. Even my family can't tell I am hypomanic right now---all my restlessness and fidgeting is on the inside. My mind is going so fast right now that I can't even spew word vomit, it's all stuck in the back of my throat somehow and if it does come it'll all tumble out at once. I've talked about this in support groups and people are telling me to call my pdoc, but I don't even know what to say because I seem so "normal". I don't know what I want to do about it either, I sure don't want more or increased meds. I'm having enough trouble taking the ones I already have.

[pirilin]

Maybe you are. Doctors have been wrong before. And make mistakes.
They kill one hundred and twenty thousand people a year by mistakes.

[Pookyl]

I can seem ‘normal’ for short periods of time. But the longer I talk the more obvious my actual mood is and it also becomes obvious that I have cognitive deficits.
And then there’s days like yesterday:
Yesterday I went to a big extended family do (a bbq lunch) wearing a floor length blue gown, high heels and a tiara. The whole family could see I was hypomanic from a distance.

[Wild Coyote]

I present as okay, too, when I am out and about. I am not out and about much.

Come knock on my door when I am having a bad day and am not expecting you!


WC

[Shazerac]

I usually present as normal. I get really chatty when I’m hypomanic, but people just seem to think that I have a bubbly personality. I’m pretty good at putting my pain in a box and only dragging it out when I’m alone and have the privacy to let it all hang out. Then I cry, scream into my pillow or do manic things. I once managed to hang all my flip flops on hangers in the closet. Go figure.

[theKow]

sometimes i want a broken leg with a neon cast-- like today.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Yesterday I went to a big extended family do (a bbq lunch) wearing a floor length blue gown, high heels and a tiara.

If you're a guy, that would be a pretty good indication that something is going on, so I wouldn't worry about it. Seriously, though, that does seem like hypo behavior, so you probably don't share the OP's concerns.

I, however, understand the OP's concerns (I don't wear tiaras - because I'm a guy). The tiara thing aside, I can seem pretty baseline if I'm taking my meds, but as I've grown older, my downs far out-number my ups. Depression kicks my butt & I can disappear for months at a time. I do fear that folks who don't know me will think I'm cheating the system by being on SSDI. I was able to work for 20 years, byt my depressive episodes led me to lose several jobs. When I was hypo or manic I could get a lot done, but it was the depression that ultimately led me to apply for disability.

[Fuzzybear]

I don’t usually have this issue... I can present as “normal” but other times not.. (according to the “judgers” in this world)