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#1
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I feel bad. Empty. I'm disconnected. I can't think. I can't write. I can't pay attention. I'm thinking about quitting everything right now, meds, working out, caring about anything, quiting it all. I haven't felt spiritual or real since I started taking prazosin again. I can't help but think I'd feel human if I went off all meds. I could become a person. A real person. Not someone stuck on and tied to meds and labels all the time. I don't like feeling this entirely empty. Where am I? Who am I? What could I really be like under all these layers of pills and labels and everything else that's built this pile of crap? Am I really even in there?
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![]() 99fairies, Anonymous45390, Anonymous50909, Anonymous52845, Cornucopia, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, KYWoman, LadyShadow, Leia78, seoultous, Teddy Bear, Unhinged88, xRavenx
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![]() Tina-ina
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#2
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Are you in therapy?
Also if you need to talk you know where to find me. Big hugs. |
#3
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I've been in therapy for over a year regularly. I don't know how to explain the dreams I had before I started back on prazosin to a therapist |
![]() Anonymous50909, LadyShadow
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#4
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Sorryshaped! Im sad you feel this way. I hope its something that passes soon. I felt the same way and stopped my meds and it has been nothing but problems since. Don't give up. It will get better. I am here to talk too if you need it.
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I run, it follows I speak, it swallows I am where it takes me. I love, it breaks me. |
#5
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I'm stopping only the prazosin for now. I feel so unconnected from everything. A friend I sort of know online is helping me with some of this, understanding what I'm going through spiritually
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#6
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A cautionary tale from me:
As my pdoc said to me when I threatened to go off my meds last year “there’s no guarantee that you’ll be feeling more like you as a person off meds”. She was right - I was super ‘off’ when not taking my meds. Working together, I finally after 3 years now feel stable. Talk to your pdoc about how numb you feel and what can be tweaked or changed so that you feel again. P.S. off meds I’m a serious danger to myself and others. It’s not worth it. *trigger* It took a whole lot of things happening for me to accept having to take meds: removing the bathtub, confiscating my phone/computer/wallet/access to cash/access to car (driving with no hands), removing access to meds unless in a blister pack, my son attempting suicide, my daughter sleeping with strangers in the street and passing out in random places from drinking too much etc etc. *trigger* |
#7
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Stopping prazosin was necessary. I didn't have good nor bad dreams. Just dreams that were obviously me working through things.
Scary that I truly wanted to stop all meds, to get rid of the problem the one caused. My pdoc has said several times that the prazosin was a choice and not necessary |
#8
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I never liked prazosin, either. I felt like a zombie when I took it. I even walked like one. I hope you feel better.
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Bipolar 1 ADHD Carbamazepine (Tegretol) Vraylar Desvenlafaxine (Pristiq) Mirtazapine Adderall XR My Journal https://jenniferforreal.wordpress.com/ “Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” ![]() |
#9
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Hey SadGirl your profile pic is my laptop background lol
__________________
Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing. ~Abraham Lincoln. |
![]() Anonymous50909
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#10
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I shall compliment you on an excellent background choice.
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![]() CelestialFlame
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#11
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I know right, that panda is so cute. I also have the cat version as my lock screen ^^
__________________
Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing. ~Abraham Lincoln. |
#12
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Highjacked my thread, eh?
Lolz. All funny and fine. If everyone drifted around in this one as much as I do in any we'd never all read them all. Lolz I suppose the dreams were good. |
#13
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![]() Now back to your regularly scheduled programing. ![]() |
#14
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No! I want a new bat---- time and a new bat---- channel. My ex called me bat---- crazy and I'm taking it back. I not only claim, I embrace and emblazon myself! Nana Nana nanna nanna bat----! I can call me that, but she can't
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#15
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Best post ever. I'm bouncing off the walls happy today. I laughed so hard. Bat hey? Kind of has a ring to it.
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#16
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I also just drove 12 miles screaming along with Jack White and Alicia Keys' "love interruption" the whole way on repeat.
"I won't let love disrupt, corrupt, or interrupt me, any more" This song reminds me how painful love is and how much I don't want to be in it. This is why we shouldn't be upset over being alone or lonely. At least we're not miserably in love. |
#17
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#18
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My track record has not been good on this whole love thing. I'm zero for three in serious relationships. Zero for one in marriage. Zero for current relationships. I do sometimes register as "PlayerZ3R0" when I play some games, so maybe that's just it. Don't play the game, or play to lose, like a drinking game. I always lost those on purpose. I COULD bounce the quarter/ball into the cup with my eyes closed, but I'd rather they did with their eyes open and I got the free drinks.
I realize I trail off on my own thread. I'm ok with it. The day had strange trailing too. The person that had invited me to the meditation group I was going to but stopped to feed my gym addiction was at the gym today. She hasn't been back either and stopped before I quit. I was thinking when I saw her "oh no. She's gonna try to get me back in there." Nope. Not at all. She does want to go back though I think. I'm very sure I'm not religious, because that involves rules, and the spirit doesn't obey the same rules that the body does. The mind is still a part of the body, isn't it? The spirit isn't. I'm so grateful for several things today: 1. Stopped prazosin. I was able to get back into myself. I didn't feel so empty which I think is definitely attributed to lack of dreams. 2. Had dreams. I did come away with a word from my dreams, for my spirit animal, a female wolf, now named Laica. Laica is Italian for secular, "not following the rules of religion." Couldn't have been more appropriate. 3. Ran into the woman that invited me to the meditations and didn't feel pressured to go back. Told her about Laica and she understood me. 4. Worked out. 5. Went outside into cool but beautiful weather. The weather has such influence on mood. 6. "Love interruption" coming up on my radio via USB drive. It reminded me how painful love always has been and I probably should be much happier out of it, and certainly am more happy than when I "was in love." *Cough* *horsesh--* *cough* 7. Claiming bat---- crazy. It's mine now. Your power is gone from it, witch (my ex). Deadpool has a sack o ferrets, but I've got bat---- crazy. |
#19
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It all sounds good, but you can't be bat **** crazy because I've already claimed that title.
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#20
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We, ok ok me, decided that no, you may have it some of the time, but we share it. Like crazustody. Or you can concede and we... I can keep it. On second thought, it's free for anyone talking about themselves in third person or using the royal noun, so this bat---- crazy guy will be using it. You may not call me that, but we can call me that. Dig? |
#21
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#22
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Oh, I forgot you're a Canadian. You can keep it. Never mind. *Backing away slowly after putting the can of Guano Nuts down*
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#23
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#24
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I can see the advert now. Big lit can with large, nice, friendly lettering, and the announcer comes in with an almost John Candy voice...
"Guano Nuts" Go some today, ay? |
#25
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Lol. Weirdo.
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