Feeling down

Right now I just want someone to hold me. Why can't he just hold me? He's right there. I asked to cuddle but he didn't make an effort to try. I tried. Why is this so hard? I've been doing very good at suppressing my feelings here recently since the last big blow up. I've stopped taking to the guy I was talking to but honestly I really miss my friend. I've been waiting to see if my husband would hopefully play more into what I was telling him about my needs because he said he would try but nothing has changed. I figured maybe I just needed to stop talking about it so much and try to show more effort into being happy with what I have but inside I'm still feeling the same as before. I just try not to think of it anymore. I try to think of how grateful I should be for everything that I have and be appreciative of what my husband does do. Today I guess it was just a little harder to ignore my needs and now I feel like crying and my thoughts are just having a field day.

Please refresh my memory...where did you fall on couples therapy? Everything you’re saying is valid. You tried to let him know what your needs are and he’s being tone deaf. I’m sorry you are having this experience. Do you feel like talking to him again and maybe detailing specific actions that would go a long way towards meeting your needs? If you can, maybe you both could discuss each other’s needs and how best to meet those. Best wishes.

I, too, am sorry you are going through this.
I am sorry to say this appears to be a chronic issues -- the differences in your (both yours and his) need for affection/intimacy. I also forget if you've seen a couples therapist or not? If it's possible to see one, it will probably be helpful.

Much Love to you as you sort through this painful issue.

WC

He is not open to going to counseling. I asked the last time we talked about things.

All I️ can say is if you go back to talking to and/or sleeping with the other guy, it’s not going to go well. Not saying you have, just issuing a PSA.

Yes I realize this. I was never physical with anyone outside of my marriage. I do not plan on talking to the other guy again. I'm trying to make things better, hoping that things get better. I've been trying to give my husband space but even doing that I'm still not getting what I want. I just needed somewhere to talk.

I am sorry he is not meeting your needs.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Are you seeing a Therapist?

What good qualities does he have ?

Yes I see a therapist. I have an appointment on the 7th. I love my husband. He's a great dad to our children. He's hard working. He is an honest person. He is kind. He is very detail oriented. He's easy going when it comes to dealing with people and non confrontational.