[benzenering]

My pdoc gave me the lecture of all lectures yesterday. I am off my meds (again!) and a few months later feeling poorly (again!). I repeat this cycle over and over and over. I just can't help myself...I hate taking this crap. I guess I just feel like I have to fight having bipolar disorder and deny having it. I even got a second opinion--still not convinced.

But I feel like crap

I can kind of relate. I hate taking meds so I stopped and wound up in the hospital. It was an eye opener for me and I don't fight them anymore. But I also have a friend with bipolar who is completely off medications. So its totally individual and I hope you find a good solution.

[Aliceiw]

Originally Posted by benzenering

My pdoc gave me the lecture of all lectures yesterday. I am off my meds (again!) and a few months later feeling poorly (again!). I repeat this cycle over and over and over. I just can't help myself...I hate taking this crap. I guess I just feel like I have to fight having bipolar disorder and deny having it. I even got a second opinion--still not convinced.

But I feel like crap

Medication side effects are a huge problem for a lot of people, they are really limiting and feel like chains on you living your life. I have been lucky in that the side effects are generally mild for the ones that work. I have had bad side effects in the past where I felt ill, vomiting, shaking. Some sent me dysphoric and agitated. However, I've never been off of them and the reason why is honestly I'm scared. I've seen what happens when they don't work or the dose isn't high enough, I remember being 16 without meds. My life goes up in flames. I would rather go along my day, making progress in my career, holding relationships, and not feeling all around wild.

I questioned my disorder many times but the evidence should be what happens when you don't take it. Sometimes, I've seen that people have to hit rock bottom and sometimes multiple times before they accept the disorder and stay the medication course.

I will suggest that maybe you need to try out some new meds or new cocktail of meds. You might find you have less side effects. I'd also suggest slowly increasing until symptoms go away and not big slams of harsh drugs. In addition, too many meds can be problematic and do more harm than good. I think three is usually recommended but sometimes people do well with more, its a personal thing.

Anyway we all are here for you, supporting you whether you choose meds or not. Sending hugs!

[Row Jimmy]

What meds are you taking? I was taking Depakote and my p-doc switched me to lithium......it doesn't bother me all that much. I also take Celexa - I don't like this one but I take it anyway. It makes me clench my jaw.

Ask if you can streamline a few things or perhaps you can taper off one at a time and see how that works. In re: my comment about Celexa, it doesn't usually cause people to clench but in my case, it does. Thus, we don't always know what works and what doesn't work. Everyone is different. For some people, lithium is terrible. For me, I don't even know I take it as long as I take it with food.

[Victoria'smom]

I go off medication like every other week. It's hard for me to swallow pills. I saw a PRN that switched me to desolvable lamictal. So I took that every night. Then I switched pdocs who wanted me to switched back to the AP shot I did well on the shot before but I had switched centers and this center didn't have a nurse that could give me the injection. However, my insurance wouldn't cover it until I was on it for 4 months prior. I don't have access to $1200 a month or I would have done that.

So I switched pdoc again and I looked up which desolvable AP because I was taking my lamictal regularly. I asked for Zyprexa desolvable pdoc gave it to me. I took it and gained a lot of weight because I was sleeping when I wasn't eating but I wasn't paranoid. Pdoc lowered the dose of zyprexa. Now I still have some psychotic symptoms but I can handle it better.

I'm to scared my insurance will stop paying for the desovable due to non-compliance if I stop taking this medication like I they took away the shot. So I have the counter on my signature of how many days I've taken the medication without missing a day. I've got up to six months without skipping a dose.

You need to be honest with yourself and your team about why your skipping your meds. If it's because you need to believe your Dx talk to your therapist about it. If you forget, set an alarm. If it takes to long to sort them get a pill box or get your pills into a blister pack.

Do you know what stops you from taking your medication?

[Cocosurviving]

I hope you find your way. I have two sisters with bipolar two. They don’t take meds just smoke weed. One is a nervous reck and the other can’t hold down the same job too long and constantly moves. Now she has a baby so this should be interesting. I had a good friend that does not take meds. She sub teaches only thing is she just works on her decent days. When she’s going through a tough period she does not register to work. She’s always stressed about bills. I would love to not take meds. I’m on two and tapering off a third. I do not like taking meds but I think about the “full blown manic” me. I completely believe in my bipolar one diagnoses. No one can make you take meds. That’s a decision that is up to you. Good luck.