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Old Dec 07, 2017, 10:14 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Location: NJ
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Another week has gone by and thankfully it has been a better week. It’s been back and forth but mostly in an upward trend. I still don’t feel 100% but maybe that’s best because A slow improvement might mean a more permanent improvement. I spend less time utterly, abjectly depressed and more time mildly depressed or “okay”.

I think the rexulti might be causing exhaustion as I’ve been sleeping for about fourteen hours collectively during the night/day, but I’m sticking with it until at least January. Today was the best day yet; even though I slept until 10:15 (with a short waking period to get my son on the bus), and even though I took a three hour nap in the afternoon, I still managed to finally put my son’s laundry away. It’s heen sitting in the hamper for two weeks. I also washed dishes, took the trash out, and started new laundry. I cooked on Tuesday and yesterday. Today we went to McDonald’s but I had a salad.

Even though I am hopefully on my way to wellness I honestly don’t feel I can return to my job. The only thing stopping me is I only have $2000 left in my savings. But I feel like if I go back I will be out again within a month. I’ve been looking at admin assistant jobs online. I really feel I’d be more comfortable and less stressed in a job like that, although I know any job has the potential to be stressful. And obviously I’d only make maybe half of what I make, but money isn’t everything. What does money matter if I’m hospitalized all the time? I just can’t face going back to my job at all. I’ve decided to let my certificate expire anyway, so I would only have it until the end of the year. It’s not worth suffering through another six months. The only benefit would be pay and health insurance. Big benefits, surely, but...

Anyway. Hope things continue upward. I’m not going to make any major decisions until the new year.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
99fairies, Anonymous45390, Anonymous50909, apfei, BeyondtheRainbow, HALLIEBETH87, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, taybaby, Vaporeon, Wild Coyote

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  #2  
Old Dec 08, 2017, 03:04 AM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Glad your feeling better ! Great news.

I think a new career would benefit you greatly

: hug:
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  #3  
Old Dec 08, 2017, 03:52 AM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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I am happy for you, in that you are starting to feel better. Easy does it.
You have lots to consider career-wise. I am sure you'll make the right decision when the time is right.


WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
Thanks for this!
99fairies
  #4  
Old Dec 08, 2017, 09:43 AM
liveforsummer liveforsummer is offline
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Glad your starting to feel a bit better. Sometimes a career change can be therapeutic. Been humming and hawing that one over myself last few years.
You’ve lots to think about, take your time, I’m sure you’ll make the best choice for you
Thanks for this!
99fairies
  #5  
Old Dec 08, 2017, 05:14 PM
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Guiness187055 Guiness187055 is offline
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I am happy things are starting to look up for you.
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Thanks for this!
99fairies
  #6  
Old Dec 08, 2017, 05:31 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Slowly but surely. Smart to put off major life decisions until you feel even better. ((((( hugs)))))
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Thanks for this!
99fairies
  #7  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 11:58 AM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Finally took a real shower. Like shaved, exfoliated, everything. I feel better but I’m also feeling very down on myself for the amount of weight I’ve gained in such a short period of time. I lost a lot over the summer and I’ve gained it all back and then some due to meds and depression. I might as well have stayed on invega and avoided all this heartache.

I’m also overwhelmed with my house. I haven’t cleaned properly in weeks and it shows. I don’t even know where to start.

I know recovery is a slow process so I need to cut myself some slack. I think today I’m going to try to just get one room cleaned up properly. I’ve also started to focus more on diet and slowly changing what I eat. I actually did much better this week in terms of WHAT I ate, but still terrible in how much I ate. But it will come in time I suppose.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
99fairies, apfei, Nammu, Wild Coyote
  #8  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 12:24 PM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2015
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I'm glad your starting to feel better. I think taking on one thing at a time is the way to go. Take things one day at a time, you've been through a lot. You need to give yourself time to heal. Big hugs!
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Lamictal 200 mg x2
Seroquel 100 mg
  #9  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 12:28 PM
99fairies 99fairies is offline
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Location: Alberta canada
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Great to hear you're starting to take better care of yourself! Small steps, you can do this!
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Bipolar 1
  #10  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 01:08 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Great....one room at a time....you will do it
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



  #11  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 02:31 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
Cleaned the kitchen, then destroyed it making gingerbread cookies with my son lol. Well at least we had fun and it’s still cleaner than it was.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
99fairies, ~Christina
  #12  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 03:34 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
Good for you !

Small steps add up
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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