[CalamityJane425]

You know whats worse than having bipolar
Is NOT having a close supportive network of.....well someone.
I live all alone & it's HELL!
I'd give anything NOT to live this way.
Now in the past I've tried the following:
volunteering- I ran into people who were so insensitive & uncaring
martial arts-a bunch of ego maniacs + I've encountered bullying both from a student & the owner/instructor
No one checks on me nor cares & I'm getting plenty mean & bitter over it.
Last night I had a major bad night when I was left stranded when a cab didn't show up & the cab driver just DIDN'T CARE. It was 38 degrees, I was so embarrassed.
I just don't have any support. My Mother is cold. In fact colder than the 38 degree weather. I want to break up everything in the house or in my case the apartment.
Life sucks for me.
I even tried calling that stupid veterans crisis hotline oh boy was that a major mistake I'm having a mental illness crisis & the broad on the other end keeps asking me if I want to commit suicide. All I wanted was someone to talk to. Got a thick headed one I guess.
I'm trembling all over & I'm really angry. Deep breathing doesn't help. that was what the lady on the other end of the crisis line kept asking me.
I even feel forgotten on here.
I'm really trying but it just does not seem good enough.

You are not forgotten. You are important and you matter. I'm sorry you are having a tough time and are not finding the support you need. Just remember you have friends here. Vent any time.

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( CalamityJane ))))))

The forum has been very slow lately. It will pick-up any day now.
Just keep posting.

By the way, thanks for your service.

I hope today has been a better day for you.


WC

[hinzc7711]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane425

You know whats worse than having bipolar
Is NOT having a close supportive network of.....well someone.
I live all alone & it's HELL!
I'd give anything NOT to live this way.
Now in the past I've tried the following:
volunteering- I ran into people who were so insensitive & uncaring
martial arts-a bunch of ego maniacs + I've encountered bullying both from a student & the owner/instructor
No one checks on me nor cares & I'm getting plenty mean & bitter over it.
Last night I had a major bad night when I was left stranded when a cab didn't show up & the cab driver just DIDN'T CARE. It was 38 degrees, I was so embarrassed.
I just don't have any support. My Mother is cold. In fact colder than the 38 degree weather. I want to break up everything in the house or in my case the apartment.
Life sucks for me.
I even tried calling that stupid veterans crisis hotline oh boy was that a major mistake I'm having a mental illness crisis & the broad on the other end keeps asking me if I want to commit suicide. All I wanted was someone to talk to. Got a thick headed one I guess.
I'm trembling all over & I'm really angry. Deep breathing doesn't help. that was what the lady on the other end of the crisis line kept asking me.
I even feel forgotten on here.
I'm really trying but it just does not seem good enough.

Through it all, we find a network! Keep soaring and we'll be here for you.

It's been a bit myself, since posting, but I'm going to make myself more present. (Darn words with Friends game is addictive)

[xRavenx]

I am so sorry that you've had so many experiences, where people were unsupportive, unkind, and unhelpful towards you. Just as others said here, you are important. Please keep posting, we're here for you.

Sometimes it takes a while to find the support that you need, and I know when there's a sense of desperation, it makes the pain even worse. Do you find journaling helpful, or any kind of "expressive" activity i.e. through a form of art, photography, or a particular interest that makes you feel a little bit better? Not necessarily an activity that has to involve people. It can be solitary, even just temporarily, before joining more things. I understand living alone can be hard. Keeping occupied for now is definitely important when you are feeling so vulnerable in times of stress, while still giving yourself a break. It's going to be day by day, of course.

Even if a small activity just alleviates a small amount of pain or stress, every bit counts.

[taybaby]

We are here for you! You matter and you have purpose!!

[RedDawn]

Have you tried DBSA or NAMI peer to peer groups?

[Victoria'smom]

I hang out here, and on facebook.