[SorryShaped]

I've only now realized something that happened a very long time ago for what it was. The first girlfriend I ever was serious about broke up with her boyfriend in a note while holding my hand. No wonder she cheated on me all that time. She cheated to be with me. She was the problem then and I just ignored it because I was lonely. Attaching myself to people because of loneliness has destroyed me over the years. This is why I never learned to make good people choices. I started out in a cheater's arms! I can't wrap my head around this other than to be ready to scream. I want to hunt her down to just scream at the top of my lungs at her "what time f--- is wrong with you! Why were you a cheat and why did you let me think I wasn't sufficient for you? You were right! I wasn't what you needed at all! You needed to be alone and more lonely than I have ever felt! You needed someone that didn't care about you! You needed to be with a cheater! You needed to date yourself!"
No wonder I'm so messed up with relationship choices.

[~Christina]

I think we can all learn something from good and bad relationships....

I learned what I would not allow in a relationship based on the bad..

Maybe write her a letter about your pain and anger and burn it... Most of the time people like her will show no remorse and it be another trauma brought on by her you have had enough from her.

I hope you can find some closure about that terrible event in your life.

[SorryShaped]

It gets a bit worse. My ex wife's first marriage's divorce wasn't finalized for 8 more months when we started dating the first time.
And worse still, but this one's not her fault. The only other woman I've ever thought I was serious about was emotionally unavailable because she was still heavily in her grief process over her father.
I'm apparently a magnet for unhealthy relationshits.
I've known things weren't right before but today I'm kind of in the throws of yucky feelings over this.

[emgreen]

..........

[SorryShaped]

I know I should learn, and try for better from now on, but sometimes we sit and stew in our past. Just like stew, it's usually more flavorful the next day. But eventually, it's just disgusting mush, with no texture or bite to it and we're forced to either throw it away, or get a new refrigerator. Unfortunately, I don't have a fridge, so mine sits and rots more rapidly in the pan, after having run dry and becoming stale.
I'll need a new recipe and a new pot to cook it in. I've thrown it all out tonight.
I was cleansed by yoga tonight, allowed to free some thoughts that were just disgusting and festering. There were tears. A lot of them. Nobody noticed, I think. But if they saw, they didn't say. I wasn't loud, just drippy during savasana. I was letting it go. By the time we rose to seated, I was dry-faced and felt honestly good about having survived all this and felt better about having learned what not to do.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by emgreen

..........

Whatever do you mean?

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Whatever do you mean?

I already explained this to SorryShaped in a PM, but I simply erased my reply...which means you have to add 8 characters (I just chose periods). I felt my answer addressed my problem more than it did SorryShaped's issue, so I deleted it. I dislike it when people hijack other folks' threads. Sorry for the confusion.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by emgreen

I already explained this to SorryShaped in a PM, but I simply erased my reply...which means you have to add 8 characters (I just chose periods). I felt my answer addressed my problem more than it did SorryShaped's issue, so I deleted it. I dislike it when people hijack other folks' threads. Sorry for the confusion.

I consider and want my posts to be an open discussion. If you or anyone have anything even remotely related in any of my posts, please do put it in the replies. We may not always get what we went in after, but we're likely to find something useful while in there. Off-topic replies are rarely that. I wouldn't consider a chance to help someone being off-topic. That's what PC is, group therapy. Help any portion of the group, and the group as a whole gets stronger.

[emgreen]

I was just going to point out that I've been in my share of bad relationships because of my MI...Settling for sub-par relationships because I didn't think anyone else would have me. That was the story of my 13-year emotionally abusive marriage. I'm now fortunate to have someone who understands my mood swings (for the most part) & doesn't deride me for having them. That stated, I know I'm not easy to live with.

[Wild Coyote]

Thanks for sharing. It's too easy to be hard on ourselves. Hindsight is 20:20.
I agree with Christina, in that we all learn a lot from our various relationships. As long as we learn, we are becoming more conscious and, hopefully, healthier.
Relationships can be very difficult. Let's give ourselves lots of credit for trying and forgive ourselves for our mistakes. I know I've made my mistakes.


WC

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by emgreen

I was just going to point out that I've been in my share of bad relationships because of my MI...Settling for sub-par relationships because I didn't think anyone else would have me. That was the story of my 13-year emotionally abusive marriage. I'm now fortunate to have someone who understands my mood swings (for the most part) & doesn't deride me for having them. That stated, I know I'm not easy to live with.

You give me hope that there may be someone for me! Thank you