[Tucson]

I went with a neighbor out to a restaurant. He claimed he forgot his credit card. So I paid for everything. This has happened before to me. Then after this he magically found his card. He told me that he would pay me back, which he never does. This time it turned out to be the same way. When we got back to his mothers place, he told me that he does not have the $15 for me. I should of remembered that he did this to me in the past.

Then he banged on my door furious. He was almost out of control. He thinks I should not of asked for the money. He pointed out that he took me out to dinner when he was cash rich. This was unusual of him, actually the first time. Considering what I did for him in the past at a great cost to me, I have treated him very well in the past. He is usually a taker in relationship to me. His mother did help me get to the grocery store store and pick me up from surgery, and drove me to a hearing with a judge. I am very grateful for what she had done for me. If she needs help, I would not hesitate to help her out. So apparently he finds nothing wrong with stiffing me with the restaurant bill. He did say he would pay me back, but as usual he did not

Maybe I should of paid for the dinner. But this does not excuse his abusive behavior. He thinks that because he took me out to dinner, and his mother helping me out when I did not have a drivers license, he feels I owe something to HIM, so effectively he takes it from me. I explained to him that I did not have much money, like ending up with $30 in the bank left at the end of the month. He thinks just because I have a sizable home equity line of credit, I am now rich. This is what he told me.

My hands are shaking allot now. I am scared of him. I wish he would of talked to me saying that he wanted me to pay because of what they did for me. I probably would have paid for the meal despite not having much money in the bank. Instead he blows up on me, scaring me in the process.

Maybe I should of paid for the meal. I probably should of done this. I am willing to help his mother any way I can. I still do not think his behavior was warranted. We could of worked this out in a peaceful way. He did not need to be this way with me.

I am feeling very scared of him now. I am feeling really depressed. There were times in the past he treated me very poorly including being very mean to me. He did not need to be abusive with me this time also.

What do you think about this? I am becoming a bit unglued now.

He's totally in the wrong. Unless you invited him at your expense, he should expect to pay his share. Your friend is not a friend. I would end that relationship. I'm sorry that you got hurt.

[SorryShaped]

TSG has it about how I'd handle it too.
If he took you out for dinner, he is going to pay for it. If he asked you along, you pay your share. If he asked you to buy, that's all on you

[Tucson]

I am so upset. I am becoming very depressed. My hand are shaking like I have Parkinson’s. All he had to do is ask me to pay for the meal. I probably would of done this. I have treated him and his mother very well in the past. I always thanked his mother allot over and over again. I would purchase pizza for them to show my appreciation. I still try to do this.

I am sorry for writing a long post. I feel very upset. I do not want to fall into deep depression. Please understand why I am asking for help from all of you. I am very confused now. I knew he can become mentally unstable. We all have problems here with MI. However, he can be very abusive. His mother had to call the police on him once to have them help her out with her son. He was behaving erratically and abusively. I do wish good things for him and his mother. His mother has a heart of gold. I told her that more than once. I normally am a very generous person. I feel like shyt right now.

[SorryShaped]

This person isn't being a good friend.
You have every right to be very upset. That's valid here.
I think you do need to breathe long and slow and try to calm down.

[Tucson]

The reason he is in my life is that I visit his mother to show her my appreciation despite how abusive he and even at times his mother have been toward me. I have worked out things with his mother, but I do not know what to do with him. I feel so helpless right now. I do need to take deep breaths and calm down. I have never had this experience that I can remember. I do wish him well. What is wrong with me?

[SorryShaped]

If I truly wanted to end the friendship with him only, and not her, I'd flatly and without emotion say, "I like your mom, she's cool. I want to be her friend. You, on the other hand, I'm over."
He'll likely be a bigger arse, but you do have the option of calling the police if he's still being abusive or threatening

[Tucson]

Thank you TheSadGirl and SorryShaped. I appreciate your responses greatly!

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Tucson

Thank you TheSadGirl and SorryShaped. I appreciate your responses greatly!

You're welcome. I'm trying tonight. Do for others when you can without it being too big a load on you