CrAwling in ny skin

I can't seem to calm down and go to sleep. I keeP vascillating between crying and wanting to break something. I think I am experiencinhg a sad and angry depression. I just feel like I need to do something but Idk what and so I am
Lying here listening to music, yelling the lyrics And tapping my fingers and toes like a crazy person, trying to climb out of my brain.

I don't see my T for a few weeks. She aLwYs says I can always call her if I need to. How does one know when they are an emergency? im just curious. I think I'm fine but I also feel like I would be standing at the edge of a cliff before I considered myself really in need of help. There has to be some middle ground?

Idk what I am even talking about. I just feel like I am about to completely lose my shiit and either bust out crying again or stat screaming and punch a wall.
Maybe I am just making this into more than it is. I will be okay. Suck it up and go to work. Put on my sanity mask and go on pretending to be a human.

Fuuck fuuck fuuck. I don't know why I am such a fuucking trainwreck. Sorry for spamming the board with dumb random posts.
I don't find myself Falling asleep anytime soon. Anybody else up?

I'm up, I was in the same phase you were in two nights ago. It will pass. Just let it run it's course, but I know how effing awful it is.

Just try to take comfort in knowing that it's not forever

I honestly think only you can answer the question if it's an emergency or not. For me, it's not an emergency until I start REALLY dwelling on suicidal thoughts (I've attempted before). When that happens I make emergency appointments with my psychiatrist and counselor. If you normally don't have suicidal thoughts and suddenly do, I think that would constitute an emergency. For me, feeling bad isn't an emergency, as I feel bad a lot. But that may be different for you. So again, I think only you can decide if it's an emergency or not.

Hey. Im fine. Well fine is relative, but I will be.
Did eventually get to sleep last night. I think that helPed. I Woke up still feel rather antsy. Blasted music and screamed along to it on the way to work which helped quite a lot.
Loud music seems to quiet my brain.

I'm just not coping that well I suppose. Sui thoughts may be rather frequent but I'm not paying attention to them and have no intention to do anything overly stupid. I'm okay.
I am no emergency. Overreacted a bit to a small case of depressive rage. Things will be good again soon I hope. I see my pdoc tomm, not that he is much help.

Anyway sorry for being annoying. All is fine over here in nj I think. At work about to make copies and drink some coffee. I think I'm hungry but have no food. Ah well.
Anyway have a great rest of the week everyone. Take it easy.

You are not annoying. You're sharing your thoughts with us, and it's worth expressing I am glad you feel a little bit calmer. I'm sorry you've been struggling though. Moods can fluctuate dramatically, sometimes day by day, as those of us with Bipolar know.