Eh not sure

I don’t know if anyone can relate.. lately I’ve been in a .. mood. I don’t want to take my meds and honestly haven’t for like a whole month. I don’t feel I need them. The lithium exhausts me and requires too much blood tests. My ap causes weight gain and I don’t want to deal with that. My anti anxieties don’t even seem to help so what’s the point.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a mixed state before but now I’m not sure. I feel okay some days like 5/10 with depression. Then super energized and bouncing off the walls soon after. Then severely depressed. Felt suicidal a couple times but then bounced back. A few slip ups with some self harm and overspending. No psychosis lately so no hallucinations and delusions like I normally get.

I know everyone will just say ‘take your meds’ but it’s not that easy for me. I’m starting to feel paranoid about it like I’m being poisoned and monitored.

Please don't drop all your meds at once, that's not safe. If you want to drop your meds, you need to taper them down gradually. Please talk to your doc about this as soon as you can.

You need help from your Pdoc to restart your medications preferably one at a time so sideeffects can be addressed before you decide to ditch them.

It sucks that meds are needed but you deserve stability. Fight for it !

Starting back one at a time sounds like a good idea.

I guess I could try one at a time. I’ve tried soooo many things though I don’t know what’s left. Plus my doctor is never available and doesn’t listen to what I have to say and sends me to ip all the time. I’m trying to find a new one. Sooo many meds I’ve gone through 😞

I get paranoid about being poisoned, and before you know it I'm in a hospital being force fed, and taking mood stabilizers i went off of...please oh please take your meds. I know you feel good now, but it's dangerous to be off of them. I mean...just sayin...

They force me meds in the hospital but not to eat. One time I literally stayed in my room for 3 days straight without eating

i had a doc leering at my in one hospital. i'd just be electroshocked. fun like...whoa.

lithium and tranquilizers, in particular, can cause -definite- problems if you stop suddenly. id seriously recommend either staying on or a very slow taper, on thing at a time. I think the going recommendation is 10% montly, less if you have major problems. benzodiazepines, of course, can be very helpful, but stopping suddenly can cause -major- problems, such as seizures.

ok. i hope things get better for you, I really do.

Agree, tell the doctor you want off the meds. Not wanting to be on them is normal. I've gone through that many times and a few times I did just quit them. No bueno. Don't recommend. For me rapid cycling comes with all the energy of mania but with extreme levels of irritability and the thoughts of depression. It is the worst. The ups and downs you are describing can easily be from messing with your meds though.

I can totally relate. Last year I fixated on the idea that lithium was going to shut down my kidneys. I decided I didn't need meds. I ended up in the hospital. I won't tell you what to do, but I've been there.