[theKow]

I want to start with the general caveat that my take on things is probably biased and that my own defects in reporting (recounting) is flawed in the narrative sense.

I am looking for some help from people or professionals who have more experience with the system, or who have lived through interactions with the system.

I have been trying to get on meds, or at the very least put into action a treatment plan for the dx for Bipolar Affective Disorder. I have been dx by 4 previous pdocs as bipolar. My co-morbidities include; general anxiety disorder and PTSD.

On my second to last visit, the pdoc dx'd me bp2 and we put a plan in place. I proceeded with the first step which took me over a year. During that time I experienced several episodes of "black" depression (where I sleep non-stop and do literally nothing for days to weeks). During these periods I lose time and the sense of time passing. Needless to say, my mind truncated a the year to so that when I called in January, I was thinking it had been only 5-mths since my September appointment.

The nurse said I was off the pdoc's patient list and I had to reapply. I did through my GP who had never supported my dx of BAD.

When I reported to the new pdoc I was expecting a continuation of the previous plan, since both pdocs work through the same hospital. Instead he started to re-evaluate me. I got angry at this point. The frustration spilled over. I was tired of being tired and feeling hopeless. It was always hard for me to reach out and each time I did there was no continuity of treatment, or arcane rules with delisted me from services despite my memory issues being a primary complaint.

So the pdoc says to me he doesn't think I am BP. Runs out of office after saying to see my GP in 2 weeks. I feel suspect. I feel like he is going or is in the process of giving me an entirely new DX and I was pretty sure where it was headed.

Two weeks pass, I think... could have been a month? Anyway, I see my doctor and the pdoc had changed my dx to borderline with antisocial features.

I feel defeated and beaten down. I know I am not borderline. I know I am not antisocial. I know I probably have some traits from those disorders, especially secondary psychopathy as I am sure I would have been dx'd w/ conduct disorder as a kid.

I don't know what to do. I don't know whom to talk with. It feels like these dx's are so wide and arbitrary they *can* mean little. I also feel as if my feelings are now invalid. That moving forward I will be stigmatized and no one will take my concerns or thoughts seriously.

Its so bad, at times, I think I ought to check into the hospital and I have intense fear/distress regarding them. (my thinking on this is still clear and I haven't crossed lines for myself, like looking at ld5's or planning anything).

[Skeezyks]

Hello Kow: I'm sorry I cannot be of help with regard to your concerns. Hopefully there will be other members here who can. However, since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral! May I suggest you introduce yourself to the general membership over on our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Have you been seeing a therapist that knows you well? The therapist can call the psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist would have been looking for mania or hypomania as described by you or documented in your record. It does seem odd that you have several previous doctors that found bipolar but this one didn’t.

Of course, it is really common to have both borderline and bipolar disorder. One problem could be if the previous psychiatrist said it was bipolar 2. My internal medicine doc is the one that told me not all doctors believe bipolar 2 is a legitimate dx. I was taken aback by that. Apparently, it can be hard to tell the difference between bp2 and BPD.

The important thing is, did you get any help? Any medications?

Did you go that whole year with no mood stabilizer?

[~Christina]

I’m a bit confused as you are about your diagnosis. It’s quite common in mental health that diagnosis will change.

As previously mentioned seeing a Therapist would benefit you in helping getting an accurate diagnosis based on how you are dealing with daily life.

But I will say instead of chasing a “ label” get your symptoms treated.

Good luck

[tecomsin]

I would talk to your GP about your concern that 4 previous pdocs diagnosed you with bipolar and now you have one saying you have borderline. It makes sense you would be confused about this. Were you ever prescribed meds when you were diagnosed with bipolar? You might be able to get onto some meds with your GP or be referred back to one of the previous psychiatrists.

[theKow]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I would talk to your GP about your concern that 4 previous pdocs diagnosed you with bipolar and now you have one saying you have borderline. It makes sense you would be confused about this. Were you ever prescribed meds when you were diagnosed with bipolar? You might be able to get onto some meds with your GP or be referred back to one of the previous psychiatrists.

I was dx'd back in 2005 w/ Bipolar Affective Disoder w/ GAD and PTSD. We tried a few drugs and I ended up on a combination of Topomax, Risperdone, Xanax, Tegertol and a few others I don't remeber now.

The drugs stabilized me into a numbness and helped with the hallucinations while manic. But, the drugs weren't a good fit and I wanted to change them.

I was taken off the risperdone by a new pdoc (no continuity of care- again) who said it should only be used in acute situations. Then he downplayed all the symptoms I was having, like jerking out of bed, PE, and crying a lot regardless of mood at every sentimental thing on tv.

i took myself off medications, save the xanax. I have been that way since. I try to put a plan together, my GP drags his feet, makes comments, and sends me in for re-evaluation. I have since been re-evaluated 3 times. Two of those times they re-confirmed my dx. Last time I got BPD APD-- probably because I yelled at the pdoc out of frustration.

As far as T? I can't afford it. Looking for stuff now. I am also changing, or trying to change, doctors.

I cycle hard. My GP seems to think I need to be manic constantly or something and seems put off my irritability and depression.

[theKow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m a bit confused as you are about your diagnosis. It’s quite common in mental health that diagnosis will change.

As previously mentioned seeing a Therapist would benefit you in helping getting an accurate diagnosis based on how you are dealing with daily life.

But I will say instead of chasing a “ label” get your symptoms treated.

Good luck

This is pretty much where I am now. I can't seem to get help from a pdoc or my GP.

I am looking into finding some consistent therapy that I can afford. Regardless of w/e label they put on things, I am the one left dealing with the symptoms and I am the one who is accountable.

It is amazing how little accountability there really is when it comes to ensuring you have access to care or meds, or even voice your concerns. Those labels make sure you're silent.